Kanye West opened his mouth to do something other than rap again, and as usual I had to listen to his CD while I read the interview to remind myself why he's allowed to go on living.

In the new issue of ID Magazine, Yeezy discussed the qualities he looks for in a woman, and the difficulty of finding his future first wife. Meanwhile, the women of America added "Avoid getting knocked up by Kanye West" to their "To Do" lists. "I'm looking and trying to decide who the mother of my child will be. It's not going to be based on a whim of being in love; she has to bring a certain level to the table. I want to be married. I want that super dope counterpart, that one woman, but she has to be super-fresh, super-smart and not overwhelmed, because being with me is gonna be a job."

What do you say, ladies? Are you "super dope" enough to get impregnated by Kanye? Bear in mind, he doesn't have to be in love with you, so don't worry about that. But do worry about the level of your dopeness, and not being "overwhelmed" when Kanye gets drunk in the the delivery room and starts posting pictures of your spread-eagled vadge to his Twitter, recording your moans of agony to sample in his new single, and yelling about how Beyonce's delivery was "one of the best of all time!" Hey, he warned you that being with him would be a job. He just didn't say it would be the worst job in the world.