Kate Middleton is about to become a princess and will probably be a queen one day, so you have to say this kind of thing now, while you still can: She's gotta be the laziest b!tch alive.

Though a "commoner" by royal standards, Kate has basically never worked a day in her life. In 2006, she worked as a fashion buyer for a few months, before she decided it would be more fun to travel the world getting royally wasted with her balding boyfriend, Prince William. Since then, she's "worked" for her parents' online party supplies company, a job that I'm sure was totally demanding and took precedence over the "jobs" she was giving Prince Willy. After all, banging a prince can only get you unimaginable wealth and worldwide fame, whereas a job at your parents' party supplies company can get you...a promotion at your parents' party supply company.

Anyway, the hour a week that she might have been asked to do something was apparently too much for Kate, as she quit her job yesterday, presumably because she needed more time to practice wearing expensive things and feeling superior before she becomes a princess. Hopefully, once she gets hitched no one will ask her to get her royal @ss off the throne and blow kisses to some peasants or something.