Snooki hopes you had an awesome Valentine’s Day. Because I’m sure you were worried about that. Actually, Snooki doesn’t care whether you had the greatest Valentine’s Day ever or were horribly mangled in some sort of terrible tractor accident. She just wants you to look at pictures of her and her new man Jionni LaValle.
This is a pretty common thing for people like Snooki to do. Check out your Facebook newsfeed from yesterday. If it’s anything like mine, you probably have some bitter, single friends who were up on some “I hate Valentine’s Day; feel sorry for me” sh!t, a few married friends who were pretty much like “What? It’s Valentine’s Day?” and one or two people like Snooki. You know the type: chronically single and probably a little chunky, but they finally have someone to sweat on this year and they’re gonna do everything in their power to make sure the whole world knows it.
If Snooki could, she would friend request the whole world just so she could show us all the proof that she finally found someone willing to stick it in her. Good for you, Snooks! I’m sure India is, like, totally super jealous.