Kate Middleton Must Get Pregnant Within Months or "Defy 200 Years of Royal Tradition"

It's safe to say Kate Middleton Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge is under a fair amount of pressure these days. After all, it's hard starting a new life with someone. It's even harder when a third of the world watched you tie the knot. It's harder still when an entire country is waiting for you to get knocked up so that you don't ruin centuries of tradition.

"If Kate is not pregnant in the next nine months, she will be defying 200 years of royal tradition," says Royal historian Andrew Morton.  Damn, those Brits are pushy. It's not enough that she gets pregnant, she's gotta do it within nine months?! This girl just finished planning the biggest wedding in the history of the world, how about you let her relax and have a friggin' crumpet before you start piling on more stress?

Not only is Kate obligated to make a baby ASAP, she's expected to produce a direct heir to the throne, so basically...a boy. "If I'm being brutal about it," says Hugo Vickers, another Royal historian (How many of those are there?) "Catherine's duty is to make her husband happy and to produce an heir."  So Kate's been royalty for a week and already her honeymoon got cancelled and she's being pressured to squeeze out a son. I'd say she should forget the whole thing and head for the hills, but I'm pretty sure they still behead chicks for that. Except, ya know, these days they make it look like an accident. Too soon?

(Photos via WENN)