On last Sunday’s episode of Jersey Shore, Snooki wanted to have phone sex with her boyfriend, Jionni LaValle. Not only did Jionni refuse to engage, he was embarrassed and quickly urged Nicole Polizzi to STFU.
Snooki: I had fun [masturbating] in the shower.
Jionni: Aaaaahhhh! You’re gross! What else is going on?
Snooki: Nothing. I want your dick.
Jionni: That’s not necessary. Stop!
Snooki: Are you DTF? I’m going to, like, have an orgasm right now.
Snooki‘s midget boyfriend also sucked in bed, according to Snooki who smushed him last season. Doesn’t wanna talk dirty? Check. Isn’t any good at heterosexual sex? Check. Waxes his eyebrows? Oh sh!t!
This is the same chick who said she’s never read a book before and communicates through grunts and growls. She’s not the brightest bulb in the box, nor is she observant by any stretch of the imagination. The breakout Jersey Shore star is always saying that she really enjoys hanging out with her girlfriends. Luckily for Snooki, she’s also dating one.
Editor’s Note: Jionni’s probably just a shy metrosexual.