Good things happen to the men that I choose as my ‘Because He’s Hot‘ guys. Adam Levine is now a judge on The Voice, Details magazine is calling Armie Hammer “Hollywood’s New Prince Charming,”… it’s okay. I’m fully confident these dudes will find a way to thank me after they drop those silly restraining orders.

Armie Hammer is playing Leonardo DiCaprio’s gay lover in the upcoming film The Brothers Grimm: Snow White. Armie’s wife, journalist Elizabeth Chambers, met Leonardo DiCaprio years ago. Leo f*cked her friend and Elizabeth wanted to check him.

On being asked to shave his chest for his upcoming role as Prince Charming opposite Julia Roberts: Julia had a line about how smooth my chest is,” he says, “and it’s not. So the producers were like, ‘Okay, just shave him.’ And I was like, ‘WHOA. I spent 25 years earning this chest hair. I’m wearing purple tights and a codpiece, so, please, let me keep my manhood.’

On moving to LA after growing up in the Cayman Islands: I went from a place where everybody was friendly to a city with no trees to climb. No crabs to catch. No machete. I had long hair and an accent. I didn’t know who Nirvana was. I didn’t know what the Lakers were.

* Armie’s wife Elizabeth describes her reunion with Leonardo DiCaprio: “I actually met Leo when I was modeling in Tokyo when I was in high school. He hooked up with my roommate. When I saw him on set after all those years, I said, ‘Tell me you’re not an asshole. Do not make me hate you for the rest of the shoot. She was Spanish—you took a bath your first night together. What’s her name?’ And he goes, ‘Marta.’ ”

Armie on how he stays grounded: I have too many real friends, and this wife, who—if I ever acted like that—would smack me so hard, right in the mouth.

Armie and Elizabeth sound like a hot power couple!