Many of us were skeptical when Kim Kardashian announced that she was marrying professional benchwarmer Kris Humphries. We had every reason to be. Kris is years younger and much less rich and famous than Kim. More importantly, they seemed to have nothing in common. The whole relationship was suspect from the start, but no one expected the divorce rumors to start flying just three weeks after Kim and Kris tied the knot.
If you’ve stood in line at a grocery store in the past few days, you’re well aware that every tabloid in the world currently features screaming headlines about the inevitability of a Kim and Kris break-up. Most feature “anonymous sources” and occasionally their stories conflict, but all of them are predicting another embarrassingly brief marriage for the new Mrs. Humphries.
According to Us Weekly, Kim and Kris have clashed repeatedly over her “materialism,” an ongoing argument that supposedly culminated in a heating screaming match when Kim freaked out over losing a $75,000 earring in Bora Bora. The mag also claims that Kris is having a hard time coping with the pressures of fame. Us says he royally pissed off Kim’s mom and sisters when he was rude to a photographer outside of a restaurant, which is apparently a big no-no in “Kardashianland” (they really called it that).
“Everyone in the family hates Kris,” Star magazine confirms. K-Hump has supposedly been showing his true colors ever since he put a ring on it, arguing with Kim’s family, flirting with other girls, and even (gasp!) smoking the occasional joint when Kim’s not around. A fondness for weed seems like the kind of thing they would’ve sorted out while they were dating, but that’s probably hard to do when you’re constantly in the presence of a camera crew. Guess they should’ve based their relationship on something other than their shared fondness for the letter K.
Bottom line is, Kris’ free agent @ss better find himself a team to play for fast. His gravy train is about to leave town and you know Kim has one hell of a pre-nup.