Iowa Caucus Results: Mitt Romney Beats Rick Santorum By Eight Votes!

If you've been eagerly awaiting the results of the Iowa caucuses in order to get a better sense of who Republicans will choose as their 2012 presidential candidate, well...you may have to wait a little longer.

Mormon saddlebag Mitt Romney narrowly defeated gross Internet joke Rick Santorum (go ahead, Google "Santorum definition") by an almost non-existent margin, making the highly-anticipated corn straw poll all but meaningless. To add to the confusion, Texas congressman Ron Paul stunned naysayers and proved that the lunatic spirit of Ross Perot is alive and well by coming in a close third place with 21 percent of the vote.

The upshot of all this is: Republicans seems unable to make up their damn minds and may destroy their own chances of a general election victory through indecisiveness and petty in-fighting. Hey, they're starting to sound like Democrats! Another bonus - the caucus was pretty much the nail in the coffin for the campaign of Minnesota crazypants Michele Bachmann who received a paltry 5% of the vote, thus forcing her to return home to her gay husband.

The candidates are now gearing up for the New Hampshire primaries, which will be held next Tuesday, followed by the South Carolina primaries January 19. Naturally, the winner of the GOP nomination process will face Barack Obama in the Throwdown for the White House 2012. Hey, if we start calling it something cool like that, maybe people will actually show up to the polls.

(Photo: WENN)