Chalk up another victory for Mormon Mitt. Former Massachusetts governor and possible android Mitt Romney is one step closer to becoming the Republican nominee for the 2012 presidential election after winning Tuesday’s New Hampshire primary.
With 80% of the vote counted, Romney led opponents with nearly 40% of the tally, and declared victory with a swag usually reserved for battle rappers and Super Bowl MVPs. “We will make 2012 the year Obama runs out of time,” Romney told an ecstatic crowd of J. Crewed white people at his post-election celebration. He stopped just short of dropping the mic and declaring that he’s going to Disney World.
Romney finished well ahead of Libertarian Republican rival Ron Paul who made another strong showing with 22.9% of the vote and who will likely run as an independent when he eventually loses the nomination to Romney. Going into the South Carolina primary, scheduled for January 21, Romney remains a virtual shoo-in after taking the first two contests of the season. At this point, it seems only a gay sex scandal in which we find out Romney was a power bottom known throughout the community as “Catcher Mitt” could prevent him facing President Obama in this year’s general election.