Maybe I’ve been viewing Basketball Wives with rose-tinted glasses up until now, but it’s become increasingly evident to me that the only reason these people interact is because VH1 tells them too. Sometimes, I like to operate under the fantasy that they actually give a sh!t about each other, but then that would mean that they actually gave a sh!t about making it believable.
Suzie drops in at Jen’s new place to talk about Kenya’s antics in the previous episode. Suzie’s publicist told her about Kenya’s attempt to book a club for her music video, but apparently we missed some things because, when Kenya found out how much booze would cost, she asked, “Can we just drink Kool-Aid?” LOL, is this for real? Jen too is in disbelief, and thinks Kenya is quite delusional.
Evelyn wants to give other new girl Kesha a chance, so they meet up. Kesha tells Evelyn that she’s a little put off by some of Tami’s comments, including implications that she wasn’t “black enough.” Oh Lord, you can tell Tami’s not gonna like this. (And, spoiler alert, she doesn’t!) Evelyn advises Kesha to talk to Tami directly and tell her this. When Kesha says that she hopes they can have a mature conversation, it’s kind of a guarantee that’s not gonna happen.
Jen’s still separated from the other girls, and continues her streak of only interacting with Suzie, who visits her at her magazine photo shoot. Jen is promoting Lucid, her lip gloss line. “That’s a big deal,” Suzie says. Okay honey, call me when Jen gets her own perfume.
Kesha and Royce pretend to be nature-y by walking through Central Park. Kesha’s concerned about Suzie’s drunken behavior, and both are not at all concerned about Kenya. They think she needs to learn from her own experience about what flies in the entertainment industry. Dropping conflict? I don’t think I can handle it.
In the next scene, Kenya is shooting her music video. At first, no one–her dancers, rapper, or assistant–are there. Then we get the special treat of scenes from her music vid. Choice images: dancing in a leather bra and panties, Katy Perry in “E.T.” music video makeup, blase dance moves. Everyone claps because they’re all so proud that it’s not a total wreck. “It turned out to be fabulous,” Kenya tells her crew. Let’s YouTube that shiz first, okay?
Jen has the retail launch of her “more than just a lip gloss” Lucid, and only Kenya and Suzie show up. Ouch. “The people that are important are here,” Jen says. Doubtful, especially when one of those people (AKA Kesha) has hair like a middle school girl. When Tami and Evelyn drink together later, however, Tami is salty that she wasn’t invited. The two of them also discuss Kenya’s horrific music meeting with Tami’s people, and Evelyn spills about Kesha’s issues with Tami. “That’s unacceptable,” Tami snaps. But since she is working on her anger management issues, she’s not going to talk to Kesha at her event, but they are going to talk about it.
Suzie and Jen are both itching to go back to Miami, and Suzie might even join Royce and Kesha in North Carolina to meet up with Kesha’s family. So many Southern jokes on the horizon! At Kesha’s actual event, Tami, Evelyn, Shaunie, and Kenya arrive together, and Kesha almost immediately sits them down and makes sure they’re going to behave well. Everyone’s offended! Then, when Suzie arrives, Kesha refers to their corner as very “Debbie Downer,” to which Shaunie throws her hands up in the air. “Where the hell did that come from?” Oh! Shaunie’s getting spicy! Tami decides she doesn’t like her and peaces out early. When Tami and Evelyn meet up again for lunch later, Evelyn’s still insisting that Tami and Kesha hash it out once more. Which they do!
All the girls (sans Royce, Shaunie, and Jen) meet up for one last night out together in NYC. Evelyn immediately dives into Tami and Kesha’s issues, but Tami has no patience for hearing Kesha’s side of the story. Kesha says she didn’t immediately talk to Tami because she didn’t want to argue. To which Tami says, “Shut the f**k up.” Evelyn starts laughing, Kenya looks suuuper smug, and Suzie’s sippin’ her alcohol. Kesha finds this all very immature. “B!tch, it’s too late. You already done told her [Evelyn].” And then Kesha asks Tami, in a bland nasally voice, not to call her a b!tch. Tami snaps back, “B!tch. B!tch. And more b!tch.”
Then Tami brings up the event, insisting that they’re all grown and know how to conduct themselves (LIES!!!), which Evelyn agrees with and calls Kesha rude. Both of them leave, and we’re left with Suzie, Kenya, and Kesha. Kenya breaks out into a speech about how the two of them are the new girls and they need to act how the popular girls tell them to act! God, what is this–high school? Suzie believes Kenya’s bipolar, Kenya believes that she’s cool with Kesha. In the end, all we’re left with are the sounds of Kenya’s psychotic laughter. Hey, at this point, we might as well make Basketball Wives into a slasher flick! Seems rather metaphorical or something.