Basketball Wives Recap: Evelyn Lozada’s Assistant Smacks Jennifer Williams

So how’s this for a refreshing interlude? It’s a Kenya-free episode AND we’ve got some violence. Is it wrong that this makes me happy? But we start off slow. In the beginning Basketball Wives continues the emotional, touchy-feely scene of last week’s episode. Tami and her mom Nadine bond over their problems with loving and expressing their emotions. This results in a dramatic hug and one big mutual cry. Too bad I just have this 5 liter box of Franzia to hold. (But I think it loves me just as much.)

Next, we meet Royce’s football player boyfriend Desmond, and we find out that he’s got Royce’s dad’s approval now. This makes things easier, though the road ahead of them is not simple–they’re both accelerating their careers. She’s still optimistic, though, and thinks that things are “the real deal.”

Basketball Wives cast

When Shaunie comes back into town, Tami updates her on Kenya’s video. They rip into her because of her dancing, alien makeup, and because Tami believes Kenya should have stood up for herself a little bit when everyone was slamming her down. Then Shaunie mentions the racetrack event that’s coming up and everyone’s going to. “We can’t go to the racetrack and act a fool,” she says. “We did last time,” Tami retorts. #truth

In the setup for the big confrontation at the end of the episode (oops! spoiler alert!), Evelyn talks with her friend and assistant Nia about how Jen has completely blocked Nia out of her life. Nia is confused and hurt because they were tight before, but now Jen’s left her behind completely. But Jen has better things to do, like facilitate the infomercial portion of this episode. Her friend Terence J offered to screen his film Think Like a Man for her friends, and she invites the girls. The tagline of the movie is pretty thematic: “Let the games begin.” As they will.

 

So–random interlude–Evelyn’s gonna close Dulce. Nobody wants $1,000 shoes right now and she just can’t devote the time to this venture anymore. Maybe she’ll go online, she says. Moving on to still not-that-important things, Suzie, Tami, Shaunie, Jen, and Kesha watch the new movie. All the girls get cocktails after the screening and they talk about the 90 day rule, as in not having sex until 90 days into your relationship. Suzie thinks it’s too long to wait, but she also thinks 90 days = six months, so let’s not trust her judgement.

Jen chills with her friend Al, and they talk about being divorced and getting divorced for only a little bit before he quickly turns the subject to her beef with Evelyn. Jen thinks it’s a bigger issue than just a blog post, while Al encourages her to talk to her about her feelings because “a healthy scrap” never hurt anybody. Um, okay.

Then we get our random gratuitous shots of Desmond surprising Royce with dinner, and Royce surprising him with lingerie. There’s just a lot of gushing. So much gushing about each other! Royce makes a comment about how Desmond can eat *cough*pussy*cough* well, and then they start making out while she’s in a red lacy bra and underwear and things start to turn a bit porn-ish. Oh well!

At the racetrack, everyone pretends to be interested in horses for only a little bit before they all get down to business. There are two contingents: Jen, Kesha, and Suzie and then Evelyn, Shaunie, Tami, and Nia. OMG, do you feel a fight brewing? Sh!t’s about to get real. Nia has a lot on her chest that she wants to get off, and after her group wipes their lips clean of their food, they go off to the presidential suite to confront Jen. Jen, at least, is surprised to see Nia there. What’s not surprising? The fact that everyone’s uncomfortable. Tami asks Jen about a letter she got from Jen’s attorney saying that Jen would sue if anybody did something out-of-pocket. They’re confused, including Shaunie, because they thought they were cool. Jen didn’t think it really concerned them, and doesn’t think it should be a big deal. Shaunie tells Jen that she thinks things are weirdly different between the two of them. Jen just plays the part of bougie b!tch and says that a lot has just happened.

But wait till Nia gets involved! Jen says she has no issue with Nia, but soon enough they start sassing back-and-forth. Nia wants to know what happened between them and if Jen has her keys, while Jen eats her salad placidly. “Whatever. I don’t even hear you,” the Ice Queen says.

“You need to wake up! You need to f**king wake up!” Nia says. “What? Do you need to be smacked in your f**king face to wake up?!” When Jen makes a comment like “yeah, I wish you would,” Nia rises up from her chair and smacks Jen bold across the face. Security jumps in, but they’re still screaming at each other. Jen starts talking smack about Nia’s two-bedroom apartment, which is when Evelyn really gets mad, because Jen’s judging people for not having as much as she has.

“I’m going to kill this b!tch,” Evelyn says as she climbs atop the table. And we end with her mid-jump, looking like a rabid cheetah. Can’t wait till next week!

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