It’s the season finale of Basketball Wives and the music feels overly dramatic for the situation at hand. But then again, this IS Basketball Wives.
Following Jen’s storm-out of last episode, Mama Shaunie goes to Jen’s bungalow to tell her that she shouldn’t go to Twitter, her blog, or the press to air out her issues. Jen denies addressing Evelyn on Twitter or giving interviews, insisting she only responded. Evelyn’s pacing so angrily outside, Tami even gives her a hug. Inside the bungalow, Shaunie questions why Jen can’t simply discuss things with Evelyn, but Jen believes their friendship’s beyond repair. When Shaunie gives up and leaves out of frustration, she passes on the news to Evelyn and Co. that Jen would prefer to talk to Evelyn alone. Shaunie and Tami both think things are gonna get uglier (duh). Later, all the girls agree that they’re homesick, emotionally drained, and over Tahiti.
On their last day in the island, Tami just wants to chill. Then a bird sh!ts on her. LOL. But the day takes a dark turn and the dun, dun, dun music returns. “She’s coming,” Suzie warns. And that someone is Jen. She’s ready to talk. Evelyn tells her she needs to take responsibility for her actions and keep her mouth shut. Jen denies doing an exacerbating interview, to which Tami–whose friend is an editor of the magazine–interjects and says, “It was definitely an interview.” She still insists that it was a conversation and not an interview.
When Evelyn throws out the line that Jen would not want her to do an interview about her, she hints at something that happened in Vegas, with Suzie involved. Jen responds, “I’m not worried about your vagina, I’m worried about mine.” But then Evelyn has the zinger! Jen effed a guy without a condom! When she questions who it was, Evelyn says it was the dude that Suzie walked her to her room to go bang. In a huff, Jen proclaims that they all have skeletons, and she didn’t get pregnant or contract any STDs. She asks if they’re done yet. Evelyn may be, but Tami’s not!
Tami is still offended that Jen didn’t acknowledge the girls at the beginning of her trip, and that Jen doesn’t take responsibility for herself. “You’re the new non-motherf**kin’ factor here,” Evelyn concludes.
Because Kenya’s either a gossipy b!tch or a really great friend, she goes to talk to Jen after witnessing their get-together at the beach from a creeper’s distance. Once again, Jen plays the victim (“I can’t catch a break”) and proclaims her friendship with Evelyn is over for good. Then Kenya and Evelyn leave the island together. At their final vacation dinner, Suzie recounts this news to the gang because she saw it all go down. “Shots to that!” Evelyn says. Tami’s lost all respect for her. Now it’s time for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants/Jane Austen Book Club sh!t. Evelyn’s giving all of them gifts from her new makeup line, along with personalized notes. Self-promotion and free makeup? My ovaries are equally jealous and horrified.
Back in Miami, Royce wants to hear Tami’s side of her handbag-stealing kerfuffle with Kesha. During their conversation, Tami gets even more pissed at Kesha for running her mouth about stuff that Tami said in anger. She also gets mad at Royce for defending Kesha, which feels like a stab in her back. Either Royce and Tami are going to agree to disagree, or they won’t be friends any longer. It sounds more dramatic when you say it like that. With their fractured core group, only Tami, Evelyn, Suzie, and Shaunie are left having their group dinner. It’s all pretty tame. Tami’s thinking about moving to L.A., thinks Kesha is “a weak @ss b!tch,” and warns that her friendship with Royce may soon be over. Plus, they all FINALLY agree that the Jen-Evelyn friendship is six-feet under.
Now it’s Shaunie’s turn. The one who never fights and is never there apparently has some issues with the show, and goes to her pastor to talk through them. She tells him about how the arguments outweigh the non-arguments in the group. “How many times will the women cuss, fuss, and get mad?” he asks. It’s almost painful to even consider answering that question. She also thinks that this might be affecting her professionally. Oh my God. If anything, this show makes her look like a saint in comparison to all the other crazies. Yes, she’s created “a mess” of a show, but she’s also created a venue for herself to seem like Mother Teresa. We don’t hold them against her.