Apparently, someone forgot to teach Nadya Suleman the first rule of being a hooker: never give it away for free! Octomom went on Howard Stern’s radio show yesterday to promote her “solo porn” video, and the King of All Media convinced the Queen of Awful Mothers to ride a sybian machine and loudly orgasm for his audience. For free!

Oh, Octo, no one’s gonna pay to see you pleasure yourself when you’re doing it pro bono on satellite radio! Also, when people are listening to you orgasm on their morning ride into work, it’s time to seriously re-examine your life decisions.

For those who don’t know what a sybian machine is (Howard is here to educate) or just want to watch a mother of 14 show off her fake “O face” check out the clip above. It’s funny until you remember that one day her kids will be old enough to Google this stuff.