America’s favorite guidos are currently in Seaside, NJ, filming the sixth (and hopefully final) season of Jersey Shore (or as I now call it, Jersey Bore! Zing!). But while we may feel that we know everything there is to know about Snooki and company, a leaked copy of the crew’s first season contract reveals that the skank-tastic shenanigans may have been far grosser than we ever imagined.
London’s Daily Mail reports, the cast was forced to agree to an “STD clause” in their contracts, stating that they could not sue MTV or anyone in the cast or crew if they left the boardwalk with an itchy, burning sensation. In case you were wondering, this is not standard practice for participants in reality shows and suggests that MTV was well aware that the Greasy 8 would be engaging in many an unprotected one-night stand, but instead of going to the trouble of testing everyone, they simply said, “Eh, screw it. We’ll just burn the sheets when they’re done.”
Naturally, this doesn’t really tell us anything we didn’t already know: the news that The Situation‘s junk probably looks like the surface of Mars isn’t really news at all. Still, it reminds us of the risk that’s posed when these people are released back into the general population after several years in captivity. May God have mercy on us all.