If you were too busy watching the Democratic National Convention last night, you may have missed the real news of the evening: Snooki cashed in on her baby in record time!
No word on how big of a payday the Jersey Shore guidette received for her People cover shoot with lil Lorenzo, but since the issue is hitting stands less than a week after she gave birth, you can bet Snooks took the tyke right out of the doctor's hands and propped him up in a make-up chair, making some serious bucks in the process.
"It's a different kind of love that I never felt before," Snickers says of her bundle of joy. "When I got pregnant, everything changed. The partying is long gone. I'm a new person."
Aw, man. I'm always skeptical when people use phrases like "I'm a new person." If this girl is really trying to go from the Snooki we knew to sober super-mom every night, she's just setting herself up for the midlife crisis to end all midlife crises. Enjoy having your 45 year-old mom follow you to the club one day, Lorenzo!