I have no idea where to begin, but watching Hulk Hogan's sex tape clip was one of the best decisions I've made all week. Hulk Hogan's penis looks like "a thermos." Seriously.

The wrestling legend gives oral, gets oral, stops to take a break from receiving oral because his phone rings with his daughter Brooke Hogan's song "About Us" playing and it's all too much for us to behold.

You don't want to miss this ghetto sh!t, for reals. When you click over, do not skip out on reading Gawker's entire post. It's worth it!