Nick and Jess want to sex each other and they both finally admitted it on last night's episode of New Girl. They clearly aren't ready to smash yet and it's fun to watch their friendship evolve into something more meaningful.
But before Jess and Nick make some confessions, Jess says that Sam booty called her. She claims to be "bad at casual sex," but also says "I deserve to have a shorty on the side."
Schmidt's obsession with Kanye West has caused him to wear an ugly belt that he says Yeezy wore. He believes that becoming BFFs with Kim Kardashian's boyfriend "is the best way to gain social strata."
Jess brings a thermus full of white wine to her fancy restaurant date with Nick. They're having a great time but she has to dip so she can hook up with Sam.
Schmidt wants to get into a club, while wearing his Kanye belt, but he's looking like an idiot and the bouncers won't grant him access until he says that he's Tagg Romney! Max Greenfield kind of does resemble Tagg (if you don't follow politics closely), so he gets into the club by pretending to be a Romney brother. Once inside the club, Schmidt tells a girl that he's "Tugg Romney."
Jess breaks her dresser "during intercourse" with Sam and it's still a bit confusing that the once awkward-about-sex Jess is now banging like a porn star, broken furniture and all.
Winston tells Nick that he's Jess' "emotional fluffer" and he's her boyfriend without the sex. Nick has an aha moment, but later decides that he's free to define the parameters of his friendship with Jess. He'll make her a new dresser from Ikea if he wants to.
Jess proclaims "I had so much sex last night!" but she's a nerd and I'm not buying the Jess The Nympho storyline the producers are selling.
Jess and Sam go on a fast food date only to end up in bed together for more sex. Meanwhile Jess tells Nick that she's "old fashioned below the belt" and now I'm officially confused.
Jess is embracing her newfound sexuality instead of looking for a job and seeking out a real romantic relationship. Winston inexplicably hasn't had sex with his girlfriend in three weeks. Cece hangs around the apartment for some reason, and Schmidt gets found out. The three girls who want to hook up with him because they think he's Tugg Romney stop talking to him once they discover he's a fraud.
Once again Schmidt steals the show and deserves his own spin-off. We finally get a closer glimpse of why Schmidt is so high strung – his father left him when he was 8 years old. Cece is there for Schmidt when he talks about his disappointing upbringing, leaving fans wanting to see Cece and Schmidt together more than Nick and Jess, who seemed more casual together than in heat for each other this week.