Posts by Jester (Page 6)

It's been speculated for a long time that Kelly Clarkson is a lesbian. Which would make complete sense because I adore her. What can I say, I get along really well with lesbians. Anyway, this is what Kelly had to say:

"I get that all the time," she tells AOL's pop culture news site, PopEater.com.. "People are like, 'Are you secretly a lesbian? Because I'd really love it.'

"Lesbians tell it to me all the time," she goes on. "I'm like, 'I'm glad it works for you, and I wish I liked women like that because often times, men are very hard for me, but I happen to like boys.'"

Clarkson goes on to say she "could never be a lesbian. I would never want to date [someone like] myself, ever. I'm a crazy person. I need some kind of stable, quiet man."

I hope she isn't lying. Don't get me wrong. Like I said earlier, I love the lesbians, but Kelly just wouldn't be a good at it. Especially if she planned to continue her singing career. Leave the sapphic rock to Melissa Etheridge. Kelly needs to keep singing about asshole boys. It works for her.

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Seriously Rosie? Have we learned nothing from Hilary Duff?

Rosie O'Donnell showed up to the Annual Kids Night on Broadway in New York with some new veneers. I mean the fact that they are so white is forgivable. They are brand new and that is expected. Unfortunately I cannot forgive the length. What kind of jank ass dentist did she go to? They are so big! She looks like Tyne Daily with those chompers. Other than the teeth, Rosie looks really good.

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Note to all celebrities: In this day in age you really never have to worry about gaining a bunch of weight. I mean, if you want your career to pick back up, you will eventually have to lose it, but there is help out there. It seems like weight loss companies can never get enough celebrity endorsements. Even Wynona Judd is the face of Ali.

Columnist, Liz Smith claims that Jessica Simpson recent weight debacle has sparked an interest with Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. Would this be a good career move? I really don't think so. It's not like Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli are knocking down Oscars.

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Holy tranny! I forgot what Jude Law looked like with a full head of hair. He's also smiling with his eyes. Tyra would be proud.

Still don't believe it's Jude Law? Well it is. In his new movie Rage, Jude plays a "celebrity-supermodel" named Minx. The director had a bunch to say about how Jude is so brave for playing a lady, and how it's all about the deconstruction of beauty. Blah, blah blah, trust me, you don't care. If you really do care you can go HERE to read it.

Top Chef contestant thinks he is a sex object - B!
The Kutchers may be adopting - CNW
Word of the day: Yee-Haw - WIMB
Gwen Stefani takes the kids to the park - CS
The octuplet mommy already has six kids - CK
Tom Cruise is so bromantic - AB
New Accessory - OMG
New writer at Playboy - RR
Paranoid AI Judges - SP
Anna Faris gets engaged - GB
Celebrities weigh in on Jessica Simpson Fatgate - AG

Wait! I thought that show was canceled. Nuts! Now I feel compelled to watch it. Anyway the show is in for big changes. Originally the show featured Denise, her friends, her dad, and her kids.

Well Charlie Sheen was not happy about his kids being exploited so he tried to stop Denise. It didn't work the first season, but Charlie tried again recently and won. Charlie threatened E! and the shows producer, Ryan Seacrest with a whole bunch of legal mess, and they caved. So now the show is not allowed to feature Sam and Lola.

Now the show will be "hipper" and will feature Denise as a dating single mother who hangs out with her friends. Soooo, it's still about her being a crazy whore. It may work. In fact seeing Denise with her daughters made me feel bad for hating her because she is a decent mother and her kids are so cute. Now, with it just being about her and her vapid fuckery, I won't feel so conflicted.

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I like Kanye West but lately he's been scaring me with his blog posts. Even if they are just attempts to gain press, they freak me out. I think he is going mad. If anyone really has mercury poisoning, it's Kanye West.

Here are some snippets from his recent rant.

I'VE BEEN LOVED AND HATED.... I'VE BEEN HAILED AND RIDICULED... I'VE BEEN INVITED TO SHOWS AND AS USUAL ASKED NOT TO COME... I'VE BEEN ATTACKED FOR BEING ME... FOR BEING BRIGHT RED IN A GREY WORLD.... I AM NUCLEAR ENERGY... WHEN INCAPSULATED IN AN IDEA OR BOX LIKE A STAGE OR SHOE DESIGN I CREATE MAGIC... WHEN LEFT FREE SOMETIMES I BURN THINGS...

Wait, wait wait. You burn things? As in you light shit on fire. Everyone keep your distance, he's a pyro!

IT IS THE CRACK IN THE WALL THAT ALLOWS LIGHT TO SHINE THROUGH... SOOO THANK YOU SENSATIONAL NEWS REPORTERS ... THANK YOU GOSSIP SITES... THANK YOU BARBER SHOPS... THANK YOU TO ANYONE WHO THRIVES ON THE DOWNFALL OF OTHERS FOR I WILL NOT FALL!!! YOUR PESSIMISM IS MY POWER... YOUR PRESUMPTIONS LEAD TO MY REDEMPTIONS ...

Um, your welcome? It's really no trouble at all.

I LIVE FOR THE FIGHT... I AM A SOLDIER OF FREE THOUGHT IN A CLOSED MINDED WORLD AND I AM READY FOR WAR... I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING SO I AM FEARLESS ... YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE UP AGAINST... I WILL SPARK A GENERATION OF THINKERS WHO WILL QUESTION TRADITIONAL THOUGHT UNTIL THEY FIND THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

It sounds like he is starting a cult. DON'T DRINK THE KOOLAID!

YOU FEEL THE WORLD WILL NEVER CHANGE.. YOU FEEL MISERY IS THE ONLY COMPANY... AND I AM HERE TO PROVE YOU ALL WRONG... (I'LL GIVE THE SECRET TO MY DEMISE FOR ALL THAT WISH I WOULD JUST DROP DEAD.... ACCEPTANCE!!... IF YOU COULD FINISH MY SENTENCES THERE WOULD BE NO REASON TO START THEM. )

That is some crazy shit ladies and gentlemen. He's too sensitive. I really don't feel like people are that hard on him. At least not enough to bang out these paranoid psycho-blogs. I can name 10 celebrities that have it worse than him, and that don't do crazy shit like this. Can't someone in his entourage slip him a Xanax?

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According to BritneySpears.Com, Britney Spears' new album was just certified platinum by the RIAA. How exciting? I'm not really shocked though. I think it's well deserved. She's really been putting an effort towards promotion this time. Fingers crossed for double platinum.