Amy Winehouse
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Amy Winehouse was hospitalized earlier this week for what was thought to be the cold, but that was just a bullsh*t lie. The human walking crack pipe was actually hospitalized for an anal leakage problem... I mean a booby leak. Amy's father who has previously said that Amy's boobs are great explained on his TV show that she was actually in the hospital because she had a "little leaky something or other."

One of Amy's friends also chimed in about Wino's leaky breast and said "She saw something oozing out on to her top. She was worried as they looked wonky and to see stuff seeping out was horrible."

I wouldn't put it past Amy to have begged the doc to fill her implants with vodka instead of saline or silicone so she could poke a straw into her t*t and get her buzz on when she needs to. I'm not comprehending how she has stuff literally leaking out of her boob especially since she had them done over a month ago. Would she still have open incisions around her nips? Somebody with fake boobies please fill me in cause my inquiring mind wants to know.

Amy Winehouse is so stoked about her new boobies that she wants to go even larger. The tiny former crackhead went from a 32B to a 32D last month, and if she goes any bigger she's going to fall over from being off balance!

Ever since Amy bought herself a pair of new knockers, she's been proudly showing them off everywhere she goes. Friends say she's so happy with her boobies that she can't stop touching them and she's even considering butt implants.

"She thinks by having another op and bum implants that she will achieve her dream pin-up look."

Amy has always been hit in the face, but she had a cute little curvaceous body before she started hitting the pipe and snortin' the powder. She should start small and find someone to help her put on that black eyeliner evenly before she gets her butt plumped up. Amy just wants to upgrade her looks with surgery so she can sell her implants on Ebay later when she's broke and needs the cash to buy more crack.

I don't know if Amy Winehouse had a nip slip or not cause I'm not sure she would care if the world saw her nips. She's so excited about what her dad calls her "great" new breasts. She looks like a proud little crack ho!

Wino looks healthier than she's looked in a while. I'm no breast implant advocate, but if the new boobs inspire her to get herself together, then I'm all for it. I'd be happy too if I could snort lines off my rock hard bubes.

Amy Winehouse's father has admitted that she got her boobies done. They reportedly cost $52,000, which is way out of the price range for a boob job! If it's going to cost me that much to get some good knockers, they better have diamond encrusted nipples.

Wino's father was on UK TV show This Morning and said he didn't have to pay for the boobs, so he couldn't confirm the cost. He did open up on how well Amy is doing.

"(She's) fantastic. Her boobs are great as well! She looks absolutely fantastic. If you look back to where we were a year ago, we are on a different planet. We are in a different space and a different time and (Amy is) a different person."

Amy was complaining recently about her boobs f*cking killing her which is a good way to get some good pain killers. They're killing me in the photo above because they're lopsided. She's not straight and neither are her boobs, but she's not on my overdose death watch list like she was a year ago.

My former favorite singer who turned into a total crackhead, Amy Winehouse has gone back to her old f*cked up self and apparently there's a man who can help her. Crackhouse met spiritual healer Peter Hippolyte during her stay in St. Lucia and is flying him to England to help her get back on track to getting healthy.

All it takes is some hugs and kisses to help Amy clean up. At least that's what Petey says. I wonder if he can hug and kiss the extra weight off of me!

Petey claims that he has "healing hands" and that he can talk to Wino and "explain things" to her. Besides explaining, Petey and Amy also get touchy. He says that they "hug each other" and they also kiss each other.

"I will use my hands to help heal her and use my psychological healing to organise her mind. We will say prayers together and she will drink bush tea with antioxidants."

The only way Amy is going to stay clean is if someone locks her in a padded room and gives her three meals a day. Hell that may not even work cause if she gets desperate enough, she'll probably rip up the padding and attempt to snort it too.

Amy Wino surprised fans at the V Festival in England on Saturday when she joined The Specials and performed the aptly titled song "You're Wondering Now." I sure am! I'm wondering how she managed to sing without shooting something up her vag lips, cause all her other parts are severely damaged, scream out "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKE!" between verses, and then pass out with thick nose candy oozing outta her nostrils by the time the band began playing the chorus.

Amy Winehouse sounded good and she has a pulse and can move around on her own, which are all the requirements this talented woman needs to put out good music.

Amy Winehouse was found not guilty of punching dancer Sherene Flash. What? I was hoping they would send Wino away but I'm gonna have to keep dreaming.

Amy was charged with punching Sherene after a charity ball last September. Amy said she's not tall enough to punch Sherene in the face. Um, there's only a 5 inch difference in their height so I'm not sure why she thinks she wasn't tall enough to slap the ho.

Winehouse said she had felt intimidated when Flash "lunged at me and put her arm around me," and had only meant to push the other woman's arm away. "I was scared," Winehouse said Thursday. "I thought 'People are mad these days, people are just rude and mad, or people can't handle their drink.' "

She also said that at "5 foot 2½ or 5 foot 3"  and wearing ballet pumps, she was too short to have hit the woman in the face. Flash is 5 foot 7 inches tall.

I can't believe the judge believed that shiz. When you have 10 months to get your story straight, it's easy to make up some good bull, but the too short excuse is just retarded!

Amy Winehouse wants to launch a perfume line with the help of her dad, Mitch.

They are hoping to land a deal worth $750,000 to bottle up her stench.

"Mitch is keen to license Amy's name to a perfume house. He has been in talks with manufacturers and contacted PR firms for advice. They want it to reflect her style with a classic smoky 1950s look and smell. Amy is keen to expand her brand and wants to latch on to the celeb perfumes bandwagon while she can."

A classic 1950s smoky look and smell? More like a 1950s smoke with a tiny hint of crack residue and foul body odor. Top it off with a dash of blood from cutting herself and a drop of toe funk from those flats she always wore, and she's got a winner!

Gentlemen line up cause it's your lucky day! Amy Winehouse is officially single again! Black Fielder-Civil filed for divorce earlier this year because Amy was sleeping around and he found living with her "intolerable."

A judge read out the divorce decree for "Fielder-Civil B. v Winehouse A.J." along with those of other estranged couples at a brief Family Court hearing. Neither 25-year-old Winehouse nor Fielder-Civil, 27, was in court Thursday. The divorce becomes final after six weeks and a day.

This is now a national holiday in my book. I dig Amy's music and it was a shame to watch her fall apart the way she did when she got with Blake. Congratulations Amy, but don't f*ck up again!

My favorite crack ho Amy Winehouse is actually looking better than she has in over a year!

Amy just got back from a much needed long vacation in St. Lucia. and I gotta say she's looking much better! She's still got a little ways to go, but at least she doesn't look like she's gonna fall over and die if she breathes too much or too hard.

Sources say she worked on taking better care of herself while on vacation and plans on working on her music again.

"She is good. She has been looking after herself," says a friend. "She did a lot of exercise and she has been eating better. Look at her – she is not what she was."

But, tales of her going on alcoholic benders are exaggerated, friends say. "She is Amy Winehouse and has a drink. But she has improved considerably." The source adds, "She has had to cope with some huge problems, including her marriage of course," referring to her estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil starting divorce proceedings earlier this year.

I bet she'll get back to partying, but may not take part in smoking crack. Now I'm on Amy watch to see if she's gonna go back to shambles now that she's back home.