Arrests

Armie Hammer of The Social Network and J. Edgar got busted in Sierra Blanca, Texas for marijuana possession. The pretty boy is so hardcore, he had three medicinal pot cookies and one brownie on him.

It all went down on November 30. Is TMZ really struggling for stories?!

A drug-sniffing dog discovered the pot at a border patrol checkpoint. Hammer spent 1 day in jail before bailing out on a $1,000 bond.

Armie is actually a born again Christian and he has been his entire life, so medicinal marijuana cookies and a brownie is about as gangsta as it gets with him.

Teen Mom star Jenelle Evans has been arrested for making harrassing phone calls to former friend and roommate Hannah Inman. It's a typically classy start to the new year for one of Teen Mom's biggest trainwrecks (and that's saying something).

Jenelle was jailed (and loved it, judging by the mug shot) and later released on $1,000 bond. Naturally, she went straight to Facebook and Twitter to tell her side of the story and confirm that she is, in fact, the dangerous psychopath she's been accused of being. "I've dropped this argument weeks ago. Haven't been paying attention to u but u have the balls to tell yr little "fans".. 'imma f*cking kill that bitch' ?!" Jenelle wrote in one of many status updates directed at Inman. Clearly, she's not the type to get angry and lash out.

Evans reserved some of her rage for a Twitter follower who compared her legal troubles to those of another troubled Teen Mom star, Amber Portwood. "what?!!! LMFAO Amber Portwood is in jail for FELONY charges dumbass, oh I guess she's better...sh*t." Yeah! Everyone knows misdemeanor moms are the best! Sigh. Can we legally force someone to get their tubes tied?

The arrest could spell serious trouble for Evans, who is still on probation for assault charges filed last summer. We'll bring you all the trashy details as they emerge.

Adam Lambert was arrested yesterday in Finland when a fight between him and his boyfriend Sauli Koskinen broke out. Adam and Sauli got into an altercation outside of a gay bar called Don't Tell Momma, according to Finnish reports.

When patrons outside of the bar tried to break up the fight, Adam attacked them as well, though no one was injured.

Adam is still in custody at a facility in Pasila, while Sauli is holed up at a jail in Toolo.

Sauli is from Finland and he won the 2007 edition of Big Brother.

Hmmmmm! Adam loves his alcohol, and he seems like one of the sweetest people in the business. He may just be a total dumb@ss when he drinks. He needs to learn how to handle the sauce better! I don't wanna ever hear any negative stories about my sweet little Adam! We will keep you posted on any updates that emerge.

The mug shot from Amber Portwood's latest arrest was released today and, needless to say, the Teen Mom star doesn't look too happy.

As the perennial Mother of the Year candidate cools her heels behind bars, more details are emerging about the latest in a long line of legal setbacks for Amber. It seems the "mood altering substance" she was on at the time of her arrest was some kind of prescription pill, several of which authorities found in her purse. Not surprisingly, Amber was unable to furnish a prescription for the pills.

A probation violation hearing is scheduled for January 13, which means Classy-pants Portwood will likely be spending Christmas in the clink for the second year in a row. It's funny, until you remember that this chick is famous because she has a daughter.

Jerry Sandusky was arrested at his Pennsylvania home today after 2 new accusers said that he had sexually abused them through his The Second Mile charity for at-risk youth. The officials said: "Contact with Sandusky allegedly fit a pattern of ‘grooming’ victims ... Beginning with outings to football games and gifts; they later included physical contact that escalated to sexual assaults.”

Victim 9 claims that Sandusky's affection started with hugs, cuddling and tickling before escalating to sexual assault, some of which were performed in the swimming pool and Jacuzzi of a hotel near Penn State.

Victim 10 said he was 10 years old when Jerry would have wrestling sessions in the basement of his home which escalated to oral sex.

Sandusky has been charged with 4 new counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse and 2 counts of unlawful contact with a minor. Each felony is punishable by up to 20 years in prison and $25,000 fines.

Sandusky was also charged with 1 count of indecent assault and 2 counts of endangering the welfare of children, all third-degree felonies which are each punishable by up to seven years in prison and $15,000 fines.

Bail has been set at $250,000.

Brooke Mueller was arrested on Friday night in Aspen on suspicion of felony cocaine possession. Brooke allegedly assaulted a woman "at a nearby drinking establishment" before she went clubbing at Escobar nightclub.

Charlie Sheen's ex was booked on a misdemeanor 3rd degree assault charge and released from the Pitkin County jail on $11,000 bond. Brooke has been in rehab many times and has had many run-ins with the law.

On the bright side, Charlie seems to be done with the nose candy and he got his sh!t together. Brooke's twins should be ok while their mother remains hooked on drugs.

Photo: Wenn

Michael Lohan doesn't let us down. After he allegedly put the smack down on Kate Major because she wouldn't perform oral, he was arrested, released and told not to contact her, but he called her so he was arrested yet again.. Whew!

Now comes the good stuff. Michael was trying to scurry around like a stealth Spiderman before he was arrested last night. According to the police report obtained by Radar Online, Michael initially was seen hiding behind a pillar, but when the cops asked him to come out, he took off up a stairwell. Michael apparently leapt from his balcony and grabbed hold of the roof. As the report says, "He then must have scurried across the roof (about 30 feet) until he thought he was hanging over top of the next balcony. The defendant (Michael) then let go but missed the balcony."

Obviously Michael Spiderman, is just a Spiderpig. The report, which also states Michael had "consumed alcohol and drugs," goes on to say Michael fell 34 feet, landing on top of wooden high chairs, and then hid in some trees directly below where he was apprehended. Michael's mouth was full of blood from where he bit his tongue, and he also injured his foot.

You mean to tell me Mr. Sobriety was f*cked up when all of this happened last night? Is this not the best Michael Lohan story you've ever heard in your life? I'm dying over here!

Photo: WENN

Michael Lohan is a complete idiot. After getting into a fight with girlfriend Kate Major Tuesday night because she wouldn't give him a blow job, Michael was taken to jail but was released Wednesday afternoon. Michael was told not to contact Kate or even dream about her, but in true Lohan fashion, he didn't listen to authorities and began calling her yesterday.

Kate called the police to inform them that Michael had been calling her and, while the cops were at Kate's apartment after she made the complaint, Michael called her again. Law enforcement believed Michael was a "threat," so they made their way to his hotel to arrest him.

According to TMZ, when cops arrived, Michael tried to escape by jumping his 3rd story balcony but he crashed to the ground and tried to hide in some trees. Once the cops got him out of the trees, Michael was arrested for violating a condition of his pretrial release and resisting arrest without violence.

He's currently in custody at the same jail where he was released just yesterday afternoon. Kate released a statement saying, "He can beat up women but Mr. tough guy who slurred his words calling me 5 times after getting out of jail wasn't too tough by jumping off the 3rd floor balcony into a tree to try to flee from going back to the same jail he just got released from less than 12 hours ago."

Like father, like daughter. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree and in this case, it actually got stuck in the tree. Ha! What. A. Dumb@ss.

Photo: WENN

Lindsay Lohan booked another modeling job yesterday while she attended her court hearing where she was cuffed and stuffed after her probation was revoked. That modeling job being, of course, her latest mug shot.

Lindsay's latest mug shot, compared to previous ones, isn't exactly Vogue worthy. It appears the hard partying has taken a toll on Lindsay's face along with the 'enhancements' she has done to her lips. She plumps those suckers up with fillers and it almost looks like her lip is disfigured. Her face appears to be swollen and the horrific makeup doesn't help. This isn't one of her best looks and I'm just comparing to other mug shots.

This makes mug shot #5 for Lindsay and I can't imagine what she would look like in #6. Hopefully we don't need to worry about seeing Lindsay's next mug shot.

Toya Carter, Lil Wayne's first baby mama, recently got married to Mickey "Memphitz" Wright. Mickey was trying to board a plane at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport when TSA agents noticed that he was strapped with a gun.

TMZ reports that Mickey says that he has a license to carry the weapon, he had simply forgotten that he had a gun in his bag. Because it's still illegal to take a gun onto a plane, he was arrested and taken to a nearby jail. He is currently still in custody.

I say we leave him there. He shouldn't be released until he has a vasectomy.