He might be married to a woman who was too old to be one of the original Golden Girls, but Ashton Kutcher knows a thing or two about the female orgasm. Now, he wants to share his knowledge with the children of America. God bless you, Kutch.

"For women in the sex education process in schools...they don't really talk about sex as a point of pleasure for women," Ashton said in a recent interview. "The male orgasm is actually right there, and readily available to learn about because it's actually part of the reproductive cycle, but the female orgasm isn't really talked about in the education system."

See? This is what happens when you spend too much time in Hollywood. You start thinking it's cool to talk about kids and orgasms in the same sentence. Don't get me wrong, Ashton has a point. Sex education is totally messed up in this country, but I feel like most of the girls I've dated already knew about female orgasms. Otherwise, they wouldn't have known what they were missing out on. Call me, ladies.

Ashton Kutcher tried to cock block Vivid Entertainment from releasing a sex tape of his alleged mistress Brittney Jones, but the amateur porno will be released on Dec. 29. 

Jones, 21, who claims she had an affair with Kutcher (and just put his "morning after" sweater up on eBay), insists that the company received the sex tape through a mysterious third party.

Vivid Entertainment has since removed using Ashton's name from marketing materials, but the cover makes obvious hints that refer to Ashton Kutcher.

Anyway, so what's up with the sex tape names?! There is nothing "confidential" about spreading your legs for all of the world to see as you talk dirty, give head, moan, and partake in other various forms of relations on camera. Words like "uncensored" and "unleashed" are a bit more accurate. I like leaving my porn up to the pros, but props to Vivid for Photoshopping the trailer trash outta Brit Brit and making her look nice on the cover.

Ashton Kutcher is upset that Vivid Entertainment is using his name to build hype and sell alleged mistress Brittney Jones' sex tape.

Ashton's lawyers claim Vivid is infringing on the actor's "marketable celebrity identity value" -- and promise they will unleash a legal nightmare against Vivid unless they stop associating his name with the Brittney Jones porn.

Vivid says the company "will respond accordingly."

I think Ashton made f*ck with Brittney, he was just smart enough to send vague texts instead of incriminating ones. I don't think this Brittney ho is going away anytime soon. The tape will be released, sans an Ashton Kutcher association, and then she'll appear on a Vh1 reality show hosted by Dr. Drew. Hoes these days have long-term plans.

Ashton Kutcher's mistress Brittney Jones who claims she had sex with Ashton on a couch, is using her fame up wisely and is featured in a sex tape. What better way is there to make a quick, thick dolla than to release a f*ck video? Vivid Entertainment has obtained the video and intends on releasing it December 14.

Vivid has obtained never-before-released footage that shows Brittney engaged in very explicit, uninhibited sex with a former boyfriend. Ashton's fans will undoubtedly enjoy seeing what the star himself may have experienced, in this exclusive video.

"We've acquired the tape and confirmed its authenticity. Brittney is obviously a beautiful young girl who could clearly seduce any man," said Steven Hirsch, founder/co-chairman of the world's leading adult film company. "We've consulted with our attorneys and feel comfortable that we will be able to distribute the tape."

In September her ex-boyfriend spoke with Radar Online about the sex tape and says Brittney "was definitely into it. We were together at the time so we made short little clips of us having sex in various positions."

Bow chicka bow, bow!

I can honestly say this is one sex tape I don't care to see. There's just nothing hot or appealing about this chick in my opinion.

With all these stories about Charlie Sheen, and Brett Favre, and guys who were basically caught with their dicks out, it's interesting to hear about further scandal involving Ashton Kutcher, a guy who has every reason to cheat (his wife is 400 years old), but probably didn't. Yeah, my guess is that Ashton is innocent, but the media loves a good ho story, so they continue to talk to professional homewrecker Brittney Jones.

Fortunately, the latest revelation about Brittney should convince everyone once and for all that she's full of sh!t. Turns out that after having sex with Ashton, Brittney "thought" she was pregnant, because "her period was late for at least a month," and she immediately tried to sell the story to a number of media outlets. Obviously, the deal was ruined when Brittney found out she wasn't really pregnant.

Word of advice, Britt, before you try to make millions off the famous fetus in your belly, you might wanna wait a couple months to make sure the little guy really exists. This chick probably had her publicist on the phone while she was still peeing on the Clearblue stick. Nah, on second thought, I don't even believe she ever thought she was pregnant. I think she just figured she'd cash in, wreck a marriage, and go on her merry way. This is, after all, the chick who claimed to have gross inter-generational threesomes with Ashton and Demi. She really just needs to go away.

Aspiring chef and home wrecker Brittney Jones is up to no good yet again. Brittney's name first made headlines when she told Star magazine that she slept with Ashton Kutcher and she also released text messages between herself and Demi's boy toy.

This time she claims Ashton told her that he and Demi Moore have an open relationship and they've got a thing for threesomes! I wonder if Ashton used his Nikon digital camera to record those ménage à trois sexcapades?

“Ashton said he and Demi have an open relationship and have threesomes often. I didn’t feel at all like he had just cheated on his wife. It felt normal and OK.”

“He said they share women, but he isn’t supposed to go off and sleep with women on his own. He said Demi had to be there and that Demi likes to pick the girls out. He explained that he and Demi had a deal where they had to share lovers. He felt bad that he had been with me and didn’t share."

I'm not shocked that Ashton and Demi bang other chicks. Demi knows she's no spring chicken and probably feels the threesome action will keep Ashton around instead of him bolting out the door to find someone younger and hotter. More power to 'em!

Justin Bieber has been named the new host of MTV's hit show "Punk'd."

Ashton Kutcher announced that he was retiring the candid camera series back in 2007, but MTV always hoped to bring the show back one day. And what better way to make a comeback than to have none other than baby Jesus host the show?

NY Magazine reports that Jasmine Villegas' boyfriend has been named the new host of "Punk'd." Ashton Kutcher remains the executive producer.

The show has had a 4-year hiatus since its successful run. How genius is this move on MTV and Kutcher's part? Ratings will be through the roof and Justin will get to showcase another side of his personality: the jokester side instead of just the hawt lesbian lookalike one.

Brittney Jones made a sex tape with her then boyfriend when she was 19 years old. The 21 year-old homewrecker and her ex were filmed engaging in various sex acts while he recorded it on his cell phone.

"She was definitely into it," Jones' ex -- and the film's co-star -- admitted to RadarOnline.com."We were together at the time so we made short little clips of us having sex in various positions."

The former lovebirds dated on-and-off for a year before splitting about six months ago when Brittney "cheated on me", he said.

Brittney reportedly likes to party and she "drank a lot." She's also a loser gold digger who lives off of her boyfriends. Those close to Brit Brit believe that she slept with Ashton.

This story is kind of reminiscent of the Real Housewives of New York City episode where Kelly Bensimon starts screaming that she's friends with, "GWYNETH, YA KNOW, PALTROW!"

Whenever someone claims to be "good friends" with a celebrity, it probably means that the celebrity he or she is name dropping doesn't even know their first name, but could pick 'em out of a police line up.

According to Radar, Brittney Jones text her friend this week, saying: "I didn't break up any marriage, in fact Demi and I are good friends." If this is true, Britney is proud to be the one who will f*ck her friend's husband.

Brittney says that she and Ashton Kutcher had "tender" sex on his couch while Demi was away, which was cool because, according to Brittney: "Don't believe everything you read about Hollywood marriages."

It's funny how every whore sounds the same and uses the same justifications for their selfish, home wrecking behavior. Since when have we heard any of these women say, 'It was just sex and I never thought that it was anything more than that!' Instead, all of 'em, like many of Tiger Woods' mistresses, actually believed that the married man they had sex with was into them and their sexual relationship was going somewhere.

Where's a good ol' incurable STD when you need one?

The woman who claims that she had sex with Ashton Kutcher, Brittney Jones, 21, has some nude photos that are out on the internet.

On the porn site with the pics, the site's blogger claims that the photos were taken "after sex," which I find hilarious. How the hell are we supposed to know that the pics were taken after sex? And why is that supposed to even matter? The pics are stamped with a November 2007 date.

Anyway, my favorite pic outta the bunch is one that features Brittney Jones on her back, on a sleeping bag that sits on top of a heavily stained carpet. She is a dirty whore. Literally.