Assholes

Gabriel Aubry is Halle Berry's colossal douche of a baby daddy. You may have forgotten about his fits of rage during the couple's original custody dispute (including reports that Gabriel repeatedly dropped the n-bomb and insisted that his daughter is not black) but Halle certainly hasn't. She'll appear in court today to request an order of protection from Gabriel, and demand that he be stripped of all visitation rights.

Halle's request stems from a recent incident in which Gabriel allegedly violently mistreated a nanny hired by the couple and neglected daughter, Nahla. The nanny claims Aubry shoved her through a doorway while she was holding Nahla and degraded her in a number of bizarre ways, such as forcing her to sit in a corner until her services were needed. She also claims she witnessed several possibly criminal acts of negligence, such as when Gabriel refused to treat a skin rash found on the child.

Child Protective Services is conducting an investigation, but in the meantime, Halle is asking that the judge tell Gabriel to stay the hell away from her and her daughter. Sounds like she shouldn't have much trouble pleading her case.

(Photo: WENN)

Us Weekly continues to stand by its claim that Katy Perry was blindsided by Russell Brand when he filed for divorce on Dec. 30. Now a source explains why Perry feels betrayed by her husband. Us magazine reports that "multiple sources confirm" that Russell dropped a bomb on Katy, despite public denials from a rep.

What's most hurtful to Katy is that Russell is planning to go in-depth about their 14-month marriage in an upcoming memoir. Sounds like something he would do!

"Katy is insulted and feels betrayed that Russell has treated her so poorly. She will never forgive him. Ever."

Katy is "in panic mode" regarding her ex's tell-all but she's keeping herself busy with projects, like shooting an Adidas commercial the other week. She's also putting in effort to "limit interactions" with her husband, another source says.

"He's being so atrocious that she feels like she never knew him."

It's always comforting when the last person you thought would be a douchebag turns out to be a nightmare. At least this breakup will make for one amazing album. For Katy's next record, think Adele meets Britney Spears meets Ke$ha!

Well this was a good idea! Well respected actor Mark Wahlberg told Men's Journal that he would have prevented a plane from crashing on 9/11 had he been a passenger on one of the doomed planes. Wahlberg decided to take a plane to Toronto a week early, thus avoiding boarding one of the planes out of Boston that crashed into the World Trade Center on September 11th.

"If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.'" LO F*cking LOUD! He's so dumb!

In 2006, he said that had he been on the plane that "We certainly would have tried to do something to fight."

Naturally Wahlberg has angered and offended many people. Just as I was about to type that he's working on his apology, the idiot has already apologized: "To suggest I would have done anything differently than the passengers on that plane was irresponsible." He continued: "To speculate about such a situation is ridiculous to begin with. I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive, it was certainly not my intention."

Marky Mark is going to have a hard time living this down, and he probably never will.

Katy Perry's parents poured salt in their daughter's wound by making it sound as though Katy's split from the man she wanted to spend her life with is a gift from God. Speaking at a church in Ohio on Wednesday, Katy's mom Mary said: "I'm sure Katy is trending on the internet just to get you to church tonight. I mean all over the world, who knows how God is bringing them in?" SO SHAMELESS!

Katy's Dad said: "What has taken place in my daughter's life has opened many opportunities to go in and be with guarded and gated people. God has given us a platform to go in and meet people."

I can't even imagine WTF Katy said to her parents after she heard about their shameless self-promotion and hurtful comments. What Katy's parents are doing is borderline unforgivable. They're happy to benefit from their daughter's fame, talking about her trending and their successful church visits, when they should just be there for her instead. That really sucks!

Happy new year Katy Perry! Russell Brand has just filed for divorce in Los Angeles, citing "irreconcilable differences." Russell and Katy Perry got married in India on Oct. 23, 2010.

Russell issued the following statement, saying: "Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I'll always adore her and I know we'll remain friends."

TMZ believes that Russell may have blindsided Katy by filing the divorce petition.

Brand appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show this month, saying "Perpetually, until death do us part was the pledge. I'm still alive."

Katy, I feel for you gurl! Whew. Folks, take it slower! And to Russell, he is NOT marriage material. Hopefully he won't ever try to pretend that he is. Sad!!!!!!

Floyd Mayweather Jr. was sentenced to serve 6 months in jail, however 3 months of that sentence was suspended. A judge ordered Mayweather to serve 90 days in jail for physically assaulting his baby mama in front of their kids.

Floyd was arrested in September 2010, after his ex accused him of striking her "multiple times in the head with his fist" and threatening to kill her. He struck a plea deal with prosecutors, pleading guilty to misdemeanor domestic violence instead of receiving a felony battery charge.

TMZ reports: Floyd also pled no contest to two misdemeanor harassment charges -- after allegedly threatening to beat his kids too during the incident. The judge also ordered Mayweather to complete 100 hours of community service and a 12-month domestic violence program. The boxer must turn himself in on January 6, to begin serving his sentence.

Photo: Wenn

Matt Damon is an a*shole. There's no need for me to sugar coat da truf. I don't say that because he slams Barack Obama, I say that because he has talked sh!t about The James Bond franchise, has revealed personal information about some of his celebrity friends, and he just seems semi-intolerable. Who likes a man who acts like a whiny little 12 year-old b!tch?

Matt tells Elle magazine: "You know, a one-term president with some balls who actually got stuff done would have been, in the long run of the country, much better."

He should run for President then!

Matt on the Occupy Wall Street movement: "If the Democrats think that they didn't have a mandate -- people are literally without any focus or leadership, just wandering out into the streets to yell right now because they are so pissed off ... Imagine if they had a leader."

Matt has made many other harsh comments, which is fine, he has the right to do so. He just comes across as being mad bitter. Maybe if I were a dude who lives in a house with three daughters of my own, and one step daughter, and starred in We Bought a Zoo, a movie that looks downright embarrassing, I'd be pissed at the world too. I just wouldn't try to spread the misery with reporters in the country.

Photo: Wenn

James Franco has made a big show of trying to earn enough college degrees to wallpaper a small studio apartment. He talks about his endless pursuit of education in every interview, and even blames his studies for the demise of his last relationship, but there's always been something suspicious about Franco's supposed nerdiness.

Ask any grad student if they would have time to host the Oscars, film a few movies a year, and regularly jet back and forth between coasts all while pursuing a PhD and see how hard they laugh. Turns out Franco was understandably having a hard time balancing his two lifestyles, but he was given preferential treatment by his professors because, well...he's James freakin' Franco. But when one prof refused to play ball and gave James a D for missing 12 of 14 classes during the semester, Franco used his star power to have the man fired.

At least that's according to the lawsuit filed by Jose Angel Santana, a former NYU professor who says he was canned for staying true to his academic integrity in the face of Franco's entitled, Hollywood BS. I used to be a fan of James', but at this point, there's not a doubt in my mind Santana is telling the truth. In the past year, Franco has proven himself to be nothing more than a self-important snob who pulls childish stunts like skipping his own Oscar party, and trashing Breaking Dawn in print after the producers refused to give him a role in the film. James needs to get over himself and stop taking advantage of his educators like the bully football player in an 80s high school movie.

(Photo: WENN)

Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy is so intense, cast members say that they love him, "but they've grown to hate him." Murphy reportedly really is a b!tch, like Kings of Leon's Nathan Followill figured out.

Murphy "has bad mood swimgs and can be really mean. Harry Shum Jr., who plays Mike Chang recently admitted "the 16-hour days are a bit rough."

"The cast has been speaking about banding together against him, and Lea is leading the charge." (Michele's rep denies any friction.)

Lea told Ryan that she didn't want to do Glee's multi-city summer tour last summer and He asked her which of her friends she wanted him to fire." WTF!!!!!!!

He implied that he would axe powerhouse vocalist Amber Riley, "because she's one of Lea's closest friends."

The cast is also still unhappy that they don't see a penny from the shows iTunes sales and were all denied raises for the current season.

Photo: Wenn

Jerry Sandusky's initial eight alleged victims have watched Jerry's interviews, where he denies all wrongdoing, and they've become so upset, they decided to testify in his trial. All of the eight alleged victims mentioned in the grand jury report will testify against Sandusky at a preliminary hearing next week, ABC News reports.

TMZ reports: Sandusky's lawyer had previously stated that his legal team had contacted the person who was allegedly raped in the Penn State locker room ... and that person insisted nothing ever happened. But according to ABC, that person -- and all of the rest -- will say they WERE abused when they take the stand.

Jerry's preliminary hearing begins on Dec. 13. I don't think there's any way Sandusky can get off. Hopefully he'll squeeze some more incriminating interviews in before he goes to trial. Such a dumbass!