Assholes News

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's star power continues to fade. Maybe they should read their own book a few times and memorize the text? The attention whores appeared on the Today Show in June where they got into it with Al Roker.

Heidi then claimed that women should "be careful" while around the lovable teddy bear because she felt threatened as a woman while in his presence.

The two were actually supposed to appear on the Today Show on Monday but their interview was nixed! Don't bite the hand that can promote you, f*cktards. Spencer Bratt then viciously and immaturely attacked Al Roker on Twitter yesterday tweeting:

"WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomache stapled again?"

"you look very sick? Do you always look like your about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know?"

"I heard you snitched on your own kids at school! I bet your kids HATE you!! I would if my own dad came to my school and snitched me about"

"is it true you have been married 6 times? I'm sure all your wives left you when they realized you were abusive to women! Sicko!"

How sad. Al Roker graduated from college and had a career before Speidi and will continue to have one after their star power continues to fade. Spencer Pratt and Heidi need Al Roker, the Today Show, POTP and anyone who mentions their asses. Shouldn't that be the most important rule in their How to be a D-Lister Everyone Hates book? Don't talk sh*t about those who can promote you. Speidi's going down!

Brandi Glanville wants to get in her cheating husband's checking account.

Brandi says that LeAnn Rimes' new lover earns $60k/week but he's only trying to give Brandi money for her "household bills."

Glanville, 36 - mother to Cibrian's sons, Mason, 6, and Jake, 2 - is asking for $39,963 a month in spousal support so she can pay for the kids' schooling and medical bills, among other expenses.

In August, Glanville filed for divorce after eight years.

Meanwhile, Eddie Cibrian has allegedly been cheating on LeAnn. He plans to sue Life & Style magazine for making those allegations.

Get ready to fall out of your chair from laughing so hard while watching this video of Jon Gosselin. Well you won't fall out of your chair over it but I've gotta admit it is pretty funny.

In the video Jon gives up his Ed Hardy wardrobe he's been wearing constantly for the last 4 months and throws on a preppy polo. He's also giving up the dirty sluts he's always seen with, is seen deleting Michael Lohan's phone number, and wants to go back "to the normal, simple life" he used to have. Don't quit your day job to go into acting. Oh wait, you don't have a day job or a paycheck since you crapped all over your relationship with TLC.

Jennifer Lopez's first husband and current ex, Ojani Noa, is trying to release a video titled How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The J.Lo and Ojani Noa Story.

The video was allegedly filmed on their honeymoon and includes footage of J.Lo wearing skimpy clothing and participating in sexual acts. Jennifer wants all of the footage to be given to her lawyers to determine whether Noa violated their confidentiality agreement.

In 2007, she won a lawsuit that forbade him from publishing a tell-all book about their 11-month marriage. That book allegedly claimed Lopez frequently cheated on Noa, including with her current husband, Marc Anthony.

A Los Angeles judge has ordered Noa not to release the video while the case is in review. Jennifer is suing Noa for $10 million and he told the New York Post, "I'm going to fight this." But with what money, tool? He's obviously trying to sell the footage to hurt Jen and to make some paper.

I remember Suge Knight's interview on the Howard Stern show forever ago where he said that he watched a separate Jennifer Lopez sex tape where she was "having sex with dudes, having sex with girls, having sex with guys and girls at the same time." The woman is a slut and she's slept her way to the top. We all didn't know just how literal J. Lo was when she said she's "from the block."

Michael Lohan has released yet another tape to prove how f*cked up Lindsay is and believes by doing so she may wake up out of her drug induced slumber and decide she needs to go to rehab. How can you call yourself a good father when you're airing all of your daughter's dirty laundry? This is like brown streaks in your underwear type of dirty laundry.

This time the taped conversation is with Dina Lohan explaining what a hot mess Lindsay has become. Dina has been lashing out at Michael for thinking Lindsay needs an intervention, yet momma Lohan says she tried to do one herself but failed.

"You don't even know what I went through trying to get her into, like, rehab and stuff. She'd punch me in the face, threw me out of the car  like you don't know the [expletive] I went through trying to get her an intervention by myself. It was very difficult."

Punched her own mother in the face and threw her out of the car? What a piece of sh*t daughter! Well, they're all a piece of poop, but to slap your mother around is unacceptable.

Lindsay posted a response to the latest taped conversation on Twitter and says her mother blamed herself for staying with Michael for so long and she begged her mother not to leave because Michael "always threatened to kill her if she did." Michael says Linds is full of crap and he's going to release more tapes to prove what a liar Lindsay is.

Lindsay Lohan is a spoiled brat who thinks she knows everything there is to know about life and believes she has her drug use under control. I give Lindsay three years before she's found dead in a hotel room from a drug overdose.

Michael Lohan is telling everyone that he's staging an intervention for Lindsay Lohan because he wants her to enter rehab -as if that worked the three other times?!

Michael is so adamant about "helping" Lindsay, that he has released an audio tape that is supposed to prove what a train wreck addict she is.

Lindsay and Dina Lohan called Mikey and he recorded the calls and sold them to Radaronline.

Lindsay is heard saying, “Mommy says that I’m worse than you were.And she’s defending…She doesn’t back me…she doesn’t stand by me.” Lindsay was throwing herself a pity party. “No one cares about me. They don’t, by the way. It’s about how they feel, not how I feel...”

Michael Lohan is so severely mentally disturbed, he's completely unaware of how vile he is. He probably actually believes that he's doing this for Lindsay's own good. He forgets that he's hurting her and himself in the process. Fame is his drug. Papa Lohan's breed of narcissist is similar to those who've committed some of the most heinous acts in history. No exaggeration. He just gets worse.

I wish he had a stalker who threatened to kill him if he doesn't STFU. Ryan Seacrest's stalker really went after the wrong fame whore.

Michael Lohan is always talking to the press about Lindsay Lohan. His estranged daughter is currently trying to get a restraining order against him for California, cause he often shows up to her Los Angeles home unannounced.

Michael Lohan told the NY Post's Page Six,

"She's a beautiful girl but she looks 100 years old."

Although I agree with what Michael said about Lindsay, I'm free to do so. I'm not her parent. The last thing he should do is say that his young daughter looks nearly four times her age. Lindsay has battled an eating disorder for the past few years, she's injected her lips with collagen, spray tans her skin constantly, changes her hair extensions like every hour,... She's insecure and Papa Lohan isn't helping.

Mike isn't a panty creamer himself! Lindsay may look 100, but Michael acts like he's four.

Chris Brown posted a montage video from his Twitter page that has led some bloggers to believe that he must really be missing Rihanna and wants her back.

The video has CB's song "The Way We Used to Be" playing in the background, and Chris and Rihanna look very happy in love throughout the footage. One of the cutest pictures ever is also used as the final shot in the video, which makes you say 'awwww!'

But Chris s a slut who hits on every woman within a one-mile radius. He misses his money more than he misses Rihanna, and this slick move is PR gold. The video is really cute! Check it.

Womanizing abusive singer Chris Brown has released a new song titled 'Crawl' which is all about winning Rihanna back. Coincidence? I think not.

With lyrics such as "Everybody sees it's you. I'm the one that lost the view. Everybody says we're through, I hope you hadn't said it too" Chris makes a pathetic plea to win Rihanna back. Get over it Chris, you beat her *ss enough the first time around!

Which brings me to the lyric "I always felt the need for space, but now I can't reach your face. So where are you standing now? Are you in the crowd of my vouch.  Love, can you see my hand? I need one more chance, we can still have it all". You probably shouldn't mention anything about your hand and reaching her face in a song to win her back. That probably gives Rihanna flashbacks to the smack down you inflicted on her earlier this year!

Stephanie Santoro is the plain jane former nanny who said that she sexed Jon Gosselin nine times. In an incriminating video interview, Stephanie said that Jon told her he hacks into Kate's email, phone and online bank records.

Kate Gosselin's law firm issued the following statement yesterday:

"Ms. Gosselin is carefully considering all of her legal options regarding this matter, and she will pursue them if and when the time is right."

Stephanie claims that Jon bragged that he has a copy of all of Kate's emails and would use them against her. I think Jon needs to go back to school cause he has so much to learn about, like, laws and stuff.