Horseymoon! MTV’s famous horse chin couple has tied the knot. Spencer couldn’t even shave for the occasion. He also needs to lose some weight and Heidi’s dress looks like it shoulda been tailored. It’s too big for her bony ass. I hope Speidi will take their honeymoon in Zimbabwe where they’ll get stuck for the next nine years. An exotic island will do, too, just anywhere where they’ll quickly fade away. Uh,… congrats? I fear a Newlyweds is in the work.
Let me start by saying that if a cross-eyed mouse mated with a horse, their spawn would be sexier than Ashley Dupre. Ashley also bares a striking resemblance to a gopher-toothed mouse; it’s distracting, and Eliot Spitzer deserves a refund. In fact, all of her clients should get some kind of tax write-off for banging this fug bitch.
This homewrecker is as dumb as they come. How can you not know who the governor of your state is?
It’s also cheap when someone signs on to do a tell-all interview but the “all” that they tell consists of safe, cliche answers that you’ve already heard before. Bitch is also trying to paint herself as innocent. She needs to take a few acting lessons before she can hope to pull that off successfully.
On how she got through the sex
“You had to be emotionally disconnected from your heart to your head.”
On the fact that she wasn’t a full time hooker
Sawyer reported that Ashley supposedly worked 3 months at a time and would then take six months off “to work at a real estate agency or waitressing, only to return to escort again.” She had a married boyfriend paying her bills for six months, which could explain it.
Whether she was afraid people would find out
“Absolutely, no one knew about that.”
On whether there were things she wouldn’t do
“Absolutely. I’m a very bright girl and I value my health and would do whatever necessary to make sure I was always protected, always…. If I did [feel I was in danger] I would leave.”
On how she got herself prepared to go out and be a prostitute
She had to stop the interview when Sawyer asked her this, but it didn’t seem sincere. Then when they came back she said she “hugged her dog” before she went out.
On if she had the “Pretty Woman” fantasy of getting saved by a client
This was where the real Ashley seemed to come out. She got animated and serious and it was all business for her.
“No. [scowls] I served a purpose. I knew what my purpose was. If I was surprised at their kindness, it’s fake kindness. [looks pissed off]. I mean, it’s time spent together, but it’s still not real. Kind of like having an abusive boyfriend and saying ‘oh but he loves me.’”
On the married boyfriend that gave her a six month reprieve from prostitution
She started crying here, and it looked fake and very put on. Apparently she was living with a guy she met outside her escort job who knew she was a prostitute. She gave up the job for him and it sounded like he was paying for the apartment and all her bills. She supposedly didn’t know he was married, but when he left her she had to go back to prostitution to pay the rent and her credit card debt.
She went back to being a prostitute in December, a month before the scandal
Here she read from her supposed diary from that time and she said it was hard to go back to prostitution after six months off. She said “I don’t know why it was so difficult for me. What if I got sick, what if I got AIDS, what if I got killed? I never planned on going back to work, but I had to.”
When asked why Spitzer was deemed a “difficult” client, as found out in the FBI investigation.
“Legally I’ve been advised not to discuss that.” She also wouldn’t discuss if she saw him more than once. “I don’t feel that I brought him down. [that was] a decision that he made.”
On her half-assed apology to Spitzer’s wife.
Sawyer asked her if she had something to say to Spitzer, but she said “I don’t think I would say it to him. I would say it to his wife. Sorry for your pain.”
“This wasn’t any different than going on a date with someone you barely knew and hooking up with them. The only difference is I can pay my rent.”
On her future:
“I want to do music, to do fashion, to write books – there’s so many things.”
There’s a big difference between hooking up with someone you wanna hook up with vs. your employer telling you to do so because you’re property… unless you’re on a Vh1 reality show and producers get pissed if you don’t. Those sluts.
I wish Kim from the Real Housewives of Atlanta more success with her country album than I ever will with any of this fug homewrecker’s clothing line, books and music. Now she’s “sorry,” coincidentally after the checks stop coming in.
- Ashley will be on 20/20 in an interview with Diane Sawyer this Friday.
I’m no crime specialist legal person court system ho, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Kanye would be in more trouble if he spat in dude’s face. Laws can be so strange. I just know if Kanye did damage to the dude or “threatened” him by like talking shit, Ye would be in deep poo poo. So weird. Basically, as I’ve said before, have hired help to do your dirt while you stand back and laugh your ass off. And you didn’t hear that from me, you read it from someone named Firecracker.
Vh1 reports that Pumkin’s a faker. Bitch needs to stop milking this reality TV crap and get a job at McDonald’s.
A well-placed, highly reliable source tells us that the engagement is fake. “Publicity stunt” is how our source described last month’s official announcement. He/she added that Pumkin is wearing a ring, but it’s “a promise ring…if you even want to call it that.”
Pumkin has not returned our calls for an interview, and meanwhile we’re left wondering if this thing will be over before it can even start.
Okay, but is she dating that security guard douche? I really wanna know who would ride that crazy train long term.
Turns out, Cheetah Girl Adrienne Bailon’s “stolen nude photos” scandal was just a PR stunt.
Bailon and Jonathan Jaxson leaked the story that racy shots were stolen from her laptop “purely to get attention.”
In an interview with a local CBS affiliate, Jaxson confirmed they made up the scandal “to juice” things up.
Added Jaxson: “What better way to do that than to say that nude pictures could have been stolen from her laptop?”
Oh My Gosh, I’m pissed. I could go so many ways with this, supporting feminist beliefs that today’s women equate being sexy with self worth and are so desperate for fame and praise, but I won’t take it there. I am upset because I did not want to see Adrienne’s flat ass. Ever. And I knew this ’stolen laptop’ shit was fake, but I went with it like whatever, has been wants some shine. I’ll mention it, next.
Now notorious attention whore Jaxson comes out on television to say it was all a publicity stunt. The public is not supposed to know that the stunt was fake, punk ass. That’s the whole point of an effing stunt. Bitch is not hawt! Vanessa Hudgens picture was much sexier and she didn’t flash her asshole.
Years after her split with Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston is finally telling all. Go Jen! Vince Vaughn Helped Her Bounce Back After the Pitt Breakup:
“I call Vince my defibrillator. He literally brought me back to life…He was lovely and fun and perfect for the time we had together.”
Before Dating John Mayer, She “Barely Knew” His Music:
“I deeply, deeply care about him. We talk, we adore one another.”
She’s Still Reconciling With Her Once Estranged Mom:
“She’s changed,” Aniston says about her mother. “She’s humbled with age. She fell in love. At 73 years old. I’m like, No, no, no, no! I don’t want to hear how great the sex is.”
The Celeb Tabloids Have Her Love Life All Wrong:
“This whole ‘Poor lonely Jen’ thing, this idea that I’m so unlucky in love?,” she says. “I actually feel I’ve been unbelievably lucky in love…I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”
Kids Are in Her Future:
“I’m going to have children,” she declares. “I just know it.”
Carrie Bradshaw, Beware!
“I never liked Sex and the City, the kind of thing where women only feel empowered once they find the Man,” Aniston says. “It is just not up my alley. I don’t believe in it.”
“I never liked Sex and the City, the kind of thing where women only feel empowered once they find the Man,” Aniston says. “It is just not up my alley. I don’t believe in it.” - Um, I couldn’t disagree more. There are many men and women who enjoy being in a relationship and aren’t really cut out for the single life and Sex and the City represents that.
All of the characters are not co-dependent. Samantha is an empowering, independent woman. She hates relationships, loves sex, and doesn’t conform to the housewife and mother role that society has taught women to take on.
Just because Jennifer Aniston’s love life is embarrassing and she loves a man whore doesn’t mean she has to diss a revolutionary show that has made women feel good about themselves. Sex and the City also has older characters, something many television shows and movies - like “Friends” refused to do, featuring young women instead of aging, sexy broads.
Jen is trying to be like, ‘I’m independent,’ but if she was so independent she wouldn’t jump from one man to the next i.e. Vince Vaughn, Paul Schulfur, Gerard Butler and John Mayer. She has no room to talk.
“Manson and I both decided to take some time apart so we could concentrate on work. Someone used that opportunity to kick us while we were down and sell a completely false story. Manson owns the house he lives in. My brother has never stayed there and the person that said such horrible things about Manson being ‘controlling’ and ‘emotionally abusive’ is certainly no source ‘close’ to me.”
- Uh, does taking “some time apart” mean they’re still together? I hope so. Rachel needs to get pregnant so she can have the ugliest. Baby. Ever. Yes!
“Manson has been by my side and taken care of me through the best and worst times. I love him as a person and as an artist. I will always be proud to have been a part of that.
- She hates his ass! “As a person and as an artist” means as someone I don’t wanna admit I filmed a porno with for his “Heart Shaped Glasses” video.
“If any more attacks are made on us, it is the act of a desperate, selfish person, who is angry to no longer be a part of my life. No further comment will be made and we request our privacy at this time.”
- The “source” is not as “selfish” as your homewrecking skank ass. Your lucky you made headlines, bitch. Now go to your local Walgreens and get some razor blades so you can cut yourself.
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