Because He's Hot News

Levi Johnston will not be going full frontal in his Playgirl pictorial, but he's probably showing some booty cheek and some hint of a penis or something.

The hockey stick of his that we've been promised we would see is probably a real hockey stick. DUH! Levi used to play hockey while he was hunting and sperminating and being a f*cking redneck in Russia's backyard.

Levi shared the spotlight with his armpit hair which grosses me out, but I think he looks gorgeous here. Playgirl will be releasing a photo or two or hopefully three each day for the next few days.

Well not exactly, but you should know my style already. I use my imagination. Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass was shaking his ass on the dance floor of his girlfriend Jessica Szohr's friend's wedding when he began to disrobe.

Ed Westwick unbuttoned his shirt and it looks like some guy wants Ed to pec feed him.

Ed looks like he wouldn't even mind. I wonder how much this picture sold for? I wanna go to a wedding with a drunken Ed Westwick. I'm not interested in the pics. With all that drinking comes the need to piss; and when he'd be ready to go, that's when I'd jump in the bathroom and lock him up. All those unrequited crushes have finally paid off. My psycho stalker game is on point.

Based upon these Taylor Lautner pictures from the New Moon Companion book, Taylor Lautner shouldn't be wearing any clothes in New Moon, Eclipse, or any other movie again ever!

The breakout hottie did a great job at quickly gaining 30 pounds of muscle. Taylor is only 17, but he remains tempting. It's okay, though, I can wait a few more months before me and Tay Tay start dating.

Taylor Lautner says that it's "uncomfortable" knowing that so many Twilighters and their mamas will be lusting after his pecs while watching New Moon. My words, people.

When asked about his shirtless scenes and his 30-pounds heavier physique, while at the Teen Vogue Young Hollywood party in L.A., Taylor said, "It's a little bit embarrassing! It's actually quite uncomfortable knowing so many people are seeing that!"

Really?! Is he getting paid enough? For the right amount of money, I wouldn't be embarrassed to take a bubble bath in a tub of urine and condition my hair with some jizz that's pouring right outta the shower head. Think I'm crazy? This is a great script idea and I'm still waiting to hear back from major studios!

Taylor's currently shooting Eclipse in Vancouver and his hotness can be found on the October cover of Teen Vogue. 

I can't believe Kanye West has this good of a body? I've got to admit, I'm shocked! I'm honestly wondering if it's his head on some other dude's body?

Kanye shows off his sexy physique on the cover of French magazine, Liberation Next. I'm gonna have some sweet dreams with gum drops and sexual chocolate tonight!

I'll never forget the first time that I saw Eric Dane.

I was watching Grey's Anatomy when the buff actor emerged from a cloud of steam wearing nothing but a towel and a smile. I froze. I heard angels singing. I thought I saw a halo hanging above his head. Was I hallucinating? Was he real?

I kid! I kid! But all this Eric Dane talk has compelled me to put together a photo gallery of his pics. It was fun; I hope you enjoy 'em too.

Channing Tatum of Step Up, Step Up 2 and the upcoming G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra used to be a stripper, and a very good one at that.

Here's a video of Channing Tatum stripping down and working it out! First Channing is seen wearing oversized clothes before he takes 'em off and shakes it like a Heinz bottle. Ha. I won't give anymore deets, but it's all sexual chocolate. If you're not gay, you may be after this video. So proceed with caution. NSFW. The video is after the jump.

Continue Reading...

Tom Brady gets me so hot and bothered to the point where I don't like watching Patriots' games because I'm angry that he's fully clothed and wearing a helmet. He should at least be shirtless on the field for f*ck's sake!

Anyway, Tom Brady says some self-righteous crap in the September issue of Details magazine. He dumped his fiance and baby mama for Gisele Bundchen, who is now his wifey and future baby mama. Naturally he's gonna wanna sound innocent. Tom said,

"Life is not living in the suburbs with a white picket fence. That's not life, Somehow our American culture has made it out that that's what life needs to be – and that if it's not that, it's all screwed up. It's not. You go through life and you try the best you can."

Me thinks that trying the best you can is waiting until your fiance pops out her baby and then dumping her, but I don't know how things work when you're a male slut. Regardless, his relationship habits are irrelevant. Tom could hump me and dump me anytime he wants to, before or after he knocks me up.

Entourage star Adrian Grenier, was getting a little rest and relaxation in Miami while hitting the beach and enjoying a few cocktails.

Adrian has gorgeous eyes and a beautiful smile, but the bod could use a little more work in the gym. He's not fat, just a little flabby and of course very hairy.

Check out the hair around those nipples! Is there even nipples under all that shag on his chest? With how hairy he is, one has to wonder if his shaft is covered in fur too.

Is there anything you can do besides drool when you look at these pics of Channing Tatum?

I will gladly carry his bag, cowboy hat, jeans and belt buckle if he agrees to walk around my house naked with those shades hanging from his lip.  That belt could come in handy too!