He’s all geared up and ready to go! Brad Pitt arrives for dinner with friends Tuesday at Los Angeles eatery Ammo.
I couldn’t help but post this pic of Brad Pitt because he’s so damn fuckable. He could be covered in infected boils pussing out all over the place and I would still get a wet spot. When he’s 90 and in a nursing home, I’m totally going to stalk him! I’ll change his shitty diaper any day.
Once upon, like, at least six months ago, I used to have a post every Friday titled ‘Because He’s Hot’ where I’d try to think of someone I want to have unprotected dry sex with (that’s not cheating, mmmkay), and write about him.
This may sound simple, but it was occasionally a daunting task. A hot guy is the difference between a hand job or a blow job, and sometimes these differences are subtle. Good eye candy is hard to find, especially when you’re trying to give some big ups to the ones under the radar, preferably the up-and-comers.
For now, my ‘because he’s hot’ posts have returned. So this week I’m choosing Jim Sturgess. Jim stars in 21, a hawt movie I saw last Saturday. I was so happy to watch this flick because it’s a great movie, and Jim’s absolutely adorable. He’s also British - say no more! Plus he’s got height, which I’m a sucker for. He’s not a bad actor, and one of my aspiring actor friends told me he’s the one belting it out in Across the Universe. The boy can sing? I’m sold! He also starred alongside Natalie Portman in The Other Boleyn Girl.
Jim, keep making movies. You’re highly enjoyable. So. Damn. Humpable.
21 has been #1 at the box office the past 2 weeks, but in case you haven’t seen the trailer, here it is.
* At the end of each ‘because he’s hot’ post, I’ll be reminding ya that if you have any suggestions on a blow job worthy male deserving a ‘because he’s hot’ post, please click the “contact” tab at the top of this page, and you can email me! :0
Mr.Legend is lookin’ good while doing good. So clever of me. I know.
Singer-songwriter John Legend joins forces with actress Kerry Washington on Capital Hill Tuesday, where the duo appeared to raise awareness and restore funds for the National Endowment for the Arts and cultural programs.
I saw this last night but was like, ‘ya, ya, ya!’ Anywho, I guess I should mention it. Carrie Underwood and Chace Crawford have split.
Carrie’s 25, and Gossip Girl’s (hotter than Zac Efron) Chace Crawford, 22, began dating since July but kept their romance secret until October, just in time for the holidays. Carrie had Thanksgiving dinner at Chace’s parents’ crib in Dallas and part of her Christmas break with his relatives.
Rumors have been swirling that JC Chasez is a power bottom and Chace is givin’ it to him good. But JC got on the radio yesterday saying, “For the record, we’re both straight. We’re not dating.”
Well, you know JC ain’t the power bottom. They probably have blow job contests to decide who can ride on top. 
Chace is the reason why I watch “Gossip Girl.” Have you seen this boy when he’s shirtless? Day-um, he’s got some guns! I’m happy to hear about this split because at 22 Chace has so much whoring left to do, and Carrie should be a slut for a few more years before she gets serious.
Shia “I don’t go to clubs” LaBeouf was partying at the Goa nightclub in Hollywood late Saturday night.
Dressed in a slick suit and tie, LaBeouf entered the club alone at around 12:30 A.M.. There were no paparazzi around to document his sneaky clubbing (so he probably thought he’d get away with it), but apparently somebody was there watching his back.
BUSTED. I just wish I knew whether or not he left the club alone!
I really need to go to Goa more often. Lindsay Lohan was just there the other night too. School ruins lives! I have too much homework, but I know where these A-Listers go and they’re always out on the weekdays, never on the weekends cause they don’t wanna mix with the common folk.
On a sidenote: Shia LaBeouf’s bench warrant for his arrest due to smoking has been recalled. What an anti-climatic story, eh? Ya. Suddenly I’m Canadaian. California has strict smoking laws, Shia lit up, got a citation, blah, blah, fart.
Is Ryan Seacrest rockin’ a Steve Sanders shirt? That really looks like old blond curly headed Steve Sanders from 90210! Any guy that wears a shirt with Ian Ziering / 90210 Steve Sanders on it, is pretty much forcing me to believe he’s gay. I don’t care if he is supposedly dating Holly Huddleston! You know he’s just using her as his beard.
Check out Ryan’s Details Magazine Interview here!
This story has made me very happy. I’m already so excited. Please God, give me something new to jack to. Something new and sexy as hell - Tom Brady, please!
At a Chinese restaurant named Philippe, on East 60th Street, plenty of A-listers show up to grub. But what the patrons don’t know is there’s hidden security cameras in the private wine cellar. That’s where some celebs hang out and/or have sex all the while cameras are a rollin’.
An insider says,
“They’ve watched tape of Diddy and Sienna Miller hanging out and Tom Brady and Gisele [Bundchen] hooking up. They get a kick out of it, they laugh and comment on people. Only a small circle of staffers there [knows] what’s going on.” A rep for Philippe confirmed there are cameras in the private rooms, especially where expensive wine is stored, “for security purposes.”
The Philippe rep says, hold on, sluts, not so fast!
“All tapes are deleted. It is completely and utterly false that anyone has access to view the videos at Philippe, which are maintained off-site at our corporate headquarters,” said flack Ronn Torossian. “The privacy of our clientele is our foremost concern. . . . Any statement saying to the contrary is utterly and completely false.” Bundchen’s rep had no comment and Brady’s rep did not return an e-mail.
Screw all y’all! I’m hoping the footage isn’t deleted. Do it for the kids. I’m hoping for a leak.
John Mayer’s got it all - looks, good hair, talent, a great sense of humor, charisma… and a blog. Yep, Mr. Mayer has been updating his online journal after he announced that it was over.
John took to his keyboard to do what we all do these days, the online F-U message:
Dear Ex Lover,
Perhaps you didn’t understand the last time I told you to stop contacting me, so I’ll do my best to spell it out for you. I do not wish to have you in my life anymore. I don’t know how much more clear I can be about it. It would serve you best to move on with your life and find someone who can put up with you, because I’m done trying.
I hope this is enough closure for you.
Goodbye.P.S. If you need me, you know how to find me.
The last sentence is why I love this man, it contradicts everything preceding it. He’s a funnyman.
Well, Johnny’s message was all over the blogosphere, people were speculating, accusing and more than likely accurately guessing that he was talking about Jessica Simspon. Now John’s trying to convince us that it was all a joke. John later posted:
I’m not a big fan of justifying my thoughts to people. I’ve known since grade school that my take on things is not for everyone, and that those who do understand how my head works seem to have a deeper connection with me for it. (Those who don’t are still welcome to use the facilities.)
I wouldn’t traditionally take to a blog to explain a blog, and it begs the question as to whether or not anyone who didn’t understand the first one will make any sense of its follow-up, but when it involves the possibility of hurting someone else, I’ll tuck my tail between my legs and explain my intentions. Even though it makes my teeth itch.
The blog - copied from my lyric/idea journal, is all about the P.S. - it’s a writing technique called “deceptive resolution”; you think the story is going one way, only to find that it twists around at the end, using all its momentum to swing in another direction. In this instance, the writer of the missive is saying in as many certain terms as possible that he does not want to see his ex anymore. At the end, the P.S. leaves that all too common contradiction in terms that makes love so messed up. I call it “I wish you were here so I could tell you to leave”.
This actually has some pretty far-reaching ramifications. How will I write an entire record of lyrics when one small blog passage incites so much curiosity? Can I write a song because of somebody but not about them? By way of my experiences but not as a sordid retelling of them? Because if I can’t, I need to rewrite the last line to my new song “Boning you on my helicopter”.
Doin’ The Right Thing Like Mookie,
John
John knows the media loves his blog posts. He totally wrote that about Jessica! Heh. If you don’t want a chick to stalk you, just start acting like a jerk until she dumps you, then she won’t be so obsessed.
John seems like the kind of boyfriend who would be great the entire relationship, then all of a sudden he whips out his guitar and starts strumming as he stares into your eyes, softly singing poetic lyrics about why the relationship must end.
Keep blogging, John!
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