The fug train keeps right on rolling for Christina Aguilera. After years of banging the melting, bearded blood hound that is Jordan Bratman, she moved on to Gollum from Lord of the Rings Samantha Ronson, now she's rumored to be rubbing against the awful tattoos of Good Charlotte guitarist, Benji Madden.

A source close to Christina says the relationship is strictly about bangin', "It's a sex thing. They get along really well. Christina likes the place where it's going and does not want to ruin anything." Umm...yeah. When you're screwing one of the Maddens, it's probably best to keep it on a friends with benefits level. Then again, Benji's bang list includes Paris Hilton and Holly Madison so he's probably crawling with infections they don't even have a name for yet. The best idea would be to have nothing to do with people named Benji at all.

If all these rumors about Christina are true, she'll have f*cked every dude and dude-like chick in Hollywood by Christmas. Here's hoping she makes people like Benji double bag it. She doesn't need to pop out a stupidly named Madden baby like Nicole Richie.

It's cute.

Joel Madden, Nicole Richie and newly single Benji Madden goofed off at the Good Charlotte album release party in Hollywood.

The relentless Paris Hilton wore some ridiculous T-shirt for the paps. Give it up, bitch! Is she ever going to ween herself off of her fame addiction? It's unhealthy.

But I really want her T-shirt. I can find the fugliest, dirtiest guy around, put that shirt on, visit my parents and tell them, "We're engaged!" That shirt makes it easier to pull a hilarious joke on your folks, co-workers, friends... It's good for anything, except the paparazzi!

No mixed messages here! Paris Hilton lets her T-shirt do the talking while arriving in Copenhagen, Denmark, on Monday with beau Benji Madden by her side.

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I mean that, honestly.

She's one of the few women who look just fine without any makeup, and she only needs a lil, and bitch looks fierce. :) I'm feelin' her eyeliner. Joel on the other hand is looking greasy and doughy and for some reason I wouldn't be surprised if they split in the next two years. Why aren't they married already? I don't really give a shit and marriage isn't for everyone, it's making me nervous.

Joel Madden and Nicole Richie (in Dries Van Noten) make a fashionable �" and charitable �" statement Wednesday at Cartier's Loveday celebration at a Bel Air, Calif., home. The twosome unveiled a jade green bracelet that Madden (with help from brother Benji) designed for Cartier that will benefit the Richie Madden Children's Foundation.

I honestly can't tell which Madden is which. Who's Joel and who's Benji? Can ya figure it out. This reminds me of when I met Benji and Joel at L.A.'s club LAX a while ago. I called Benji 'Joel' and Joel 'Benji.' Luckily the Maddens are some of the sweetest guys around so they didn't mind.

I'm guessing Joel's on the right, and Benji's on the left. They're two identical twins who really look alike. Luvs it. I wonder if they have the same size penis?

The boys were spotted at the dj booth at MTV's Movie Awards private party at a house in L.A.

Disclaimer: I don't know if Benji Madden has herpes. Paris Hilton has herpes, allegedly. Reps, don't sue me, k. Let's make nice.