How can you not love a story like this! Brandon Davis had a sleep over at music producer Scott Storch’s house, and when Scott woke up the next day his $100,000 diamond encrusted watch was gone. There’s only one person who could’ve taken it and that would be none other than greasy bear Brandon who broke down when Scott confronted him.
Brandon and Scott went out and Brandon went back to Scott’s place and crashed on the couch,” a source said. “The next morning, when Scott got up, Brandon was already gone - and so was Scott’s $100,000 diamond encrusted watch that had been in the same room the night before. Scott called Brandon and told him the watch was missing but, ‘It’s OK - I just got a new security system, so everything’s on tape.’ ” After learning he’d be caught, Davis “started crying hysterically and saying, ‘Please don’t tell anyone - I’ll bring it back.’ Scott felt bad for him and got his watch back like an hour later, so he didn’t call the police.” When Page Six asked Storch about the episode, he would only say, “I heard about this. Give peace a chance.” Davis couldn’t be reached.
I think Scott looks like the dude from the old covers of Mad Magazine but he’s now my hero. Way to make Brandon cry like the pansy ass he is! Remember when he said how poor Lindsay Lohan was because she only had $7 Million? Lindsay’s firecrotch must be happy as a clam hearing about greasy’s cheap thievery.
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Even professional hairstylists won’t touch Brandon Davis’ hair. When “Greasy Bear” paid a visit late Saturday to the Frederic Fekkai Salon for a trim, stylists were so appalled by his oily grunginess they donned rubber gloves.
“Even the shampoo person wore gloves,” said a source. “He [Davis] was really out of it, sweating profusely. His eyes were half shut and he was asking for carrot juice, even after they told him they only had orange juice.”
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Paris Hilton’s friend and cling-on Brandon Davis is being cut-off from his family’s wealth. After making a complete ass of himself last week at his older brother’s wedding by becoming totally belligerent and being carried out, I’m sure the family has had enough.
“I know for a fact that his parents cut him off,” a pal tells us. “Brandon has just enough money to get a very inexpensive, low-rate room at The Standard [hotel in Miami]. We all feel sorry for him. Brandon’s in a bad place and is very depressed. He has kicked his partying up big time.
How funny is that!!!! This is the fat bastard who said Lindsay was basically broke because she’s only worth $7 million. Karma is a bitch isn’t it? Doesn’t he just looks like he smells of Frito’s and ketchup on top of the sweat? The ultra funk, folks.
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Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis wished Parisite Hilton a happy birthday by causing her to cry.
Parisite’s parents threw down some thick dolla for Parisite’s 456th birthday party on Saturday night. Rick and Kathy Hilton support their whore by spending on her ass. Her flowers alone cost $10,000. But money couldn’t buy them happiness. Not when a possibly drunken, greased up bear was on the prowl.
Around 10 p.m., Davis started acting up. “He was hurling flowers at Paula Abdul,” says a guest. “Then he began bombing her with Styrofoam flower-holders. He was shouting, ‘Lick my [BLEEP], Paula!’ He started mocking her ancestry by speaking gibberish in an Arabic accent.
“Stavros and Paris tried to stop him. Paris said, ‘Shut up, you’re wasted!’” But it was too late. Abdul, who was due to sing “Happy Birthday,” made an early exit.
Davis then decided to go after Courtney Love. “He lifted her up so that she was straddling his waist,” says a witness. “Her Chanel dress was riding up. Brandon was saying, ‘I want to squirt on you.’
He was humping Courtney in front of her daughter, Frances Bean. When he put her down, Courtney grabbed Frances and they marched out of the restaurant through the kitchen.”
It didn’t stop there. “He was knocking over glasses and candles on the table,” says a source. “Paris was crying to her mother, ‘This is not my fault!’”
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