When Bristol Palin competed on Dancing With the Stars she was a raging b!tch. When a man mocked her for riding a bull, she was an annoying b!tch. Now that her reality show with her Dancing With the Stars co-star Kyle Massey was axed, like her attention whore mother, she still thirsts for the spotlight.

Todd Palin wants a show about snowmobile racing! Coming from a man who can't count to 3, we understand why that idea would make sense. Bristol also wants to do a show with her sister Willow Palin and her boyfriend Gino Paoletti.

Celebitchy reports: "Bristol’s upset because Sarah wants to stay out of negotiations for her show. Sarah isn’t thrilled with Willow being involved. But Bristol believes the show will be more marketable with Willow."

"Bristol's upset"? That b!tch is always mad about something. We've seen episodes of Sarah Palin's Alaska, which is why we will never watch another Palin reality show again, unless bears end up devouring Sarah's face, lil Lil Payne's suggested.

It's a strange time to be an American, what with the crippled economy, massive debt, nationwide protests, and fast-approaching presidential elections. With all that discord and strife, at least there's one bright spot on the horizon - Bristol Palin can now legally buy booze and hang out in bars. Oh, the headlines we'll see!

Bristol turns 21 today, and though she may be a living embodiment of everything that's wrong with this country, we'll wish anyone a happy 21st. It's pretty much the only birthday that actually means anything, and if anyone deserves to get sh!tfaced and forget about their problems for a while, it's Bristol. Hell, the poor girl has Sarah friggin' Palin for a mother.

So drink up, Bristol. Just stay don't go crawling into any tents with any drunken rednecks. Or, if you do, at least bring a condom.

(Photo: ABC)

Bristol Palin wants to clarify that she is, in fact, not a homophobe. The daughter of the best vice presidential candidate in the history of forever rode a mechanical bull a few days ago and got into a verbal tussle with a bystander. He called her mother the devil, she told him she could “just tell” he was gay. Making sexuality an issue--fun times. 

But according to her rep, Bristol doesn’t actually hate gay people. She was just defending her family’s honor.

“Bristol responded to the unprovoked verbal assault by calmly standing her ground and defending her family... Accusing her of homophobia is completely unfounded...”

God, can’t she just apologize and be done with it? It’s obvious that Bristol was slinging around being gay--or ‘seeming’ gay--as a kind of insult. Even though the heckler aggravated the situation, it might help if Bristol acknowledges that she said some things she shouldn’t have. Then we could just forget about her until she gets knocked up again or says more stupid things.

Photo: Wenn

Last night, Bristol Palin rode a mechanical bull as part of some weird publicity stunt for whatever the hell she's promoting these days. But the real publicity came from Bristol's odd response to a heckler in the crowd.

Bristol Palin Heckler Response

After Bristol was thrown from the bull, someone shouted "Did you ride Levi like that?" A bit obvious, but a good joke, nonetheless. Things got ugly from there, though, as the heckler proceeded to yell, "Your mother's a whore," and call Sarah Palin "the f*cking devil."

To her credit, Bristol confronted the heckler and got in his face. Unfortunately, she made the heckler's sexuality the issue, rather than focusing on the fact that her mother is, in fact, the devil.

"Is it because you're a homosexual?" Bristol asked the man. When he asked why she would bring that up, Bristol responded, "Because I can just tell."

In fairness, the guy actually is a homosexual, but what did that have to do with anything? There are a million reasons to hate Sarah Palin for people of every sexual orientation. And if Bristol can tell such about another person from talking to them for 5 seconds, why did she allow herself to get knocked up by the world's biggest d-bag?

Check out the video above for the whole episode. The heckling starts at about the 1:40 mark, but watching Bristol ride some robotic cattle is pretty funny, too.

Anyone else feel like Levi Johnston's book is coming out a year or two late?! Levi's obsession with his baby mama's family continues as he filled up pages of his memoir with revelations about the Palins.

Because Levi's unemployed, and he thinks we still care, the 24 year-old Alaskan says that Tea Party enthusiast Sarah Palin wanted to teabag his "redneck" nuts.

Levi told E! news: "Growing up my friends would always say that [Palin would flirt with me]. Now looking back and remembering what everyone said... it kind of weirds me out thinking about it."

Levi told Dr. Phil that Bristol Palin hinting that he raped her was "the only hurtful thing" she said about him so far. "It’s horrifying for someone you date for four years to say that.” he said.

Are Bristol and Levi the new Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston? Seriously. When will they both STFU about this relationship?

Photo: Wenn

Levi Johnston is fighting to stay relevant by continuing to smear the Palin family. Levi's book, Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs, hits newsstands on September 20. Luckily, we already have a preview. Levi's sister Mercede said that unlike what Bristol was saying, hinting that Levi had raped her, Bristol wanted to have sex with Levi and she wanted to get pregnant.

Levi says that, in March 2008, Bristol Palin told him "Let's get pregnant!"

The former Playgirl centerfold admits he'd "been too dumb" to use a condom with his ex, as he knew "what she wanted" was to have his child.

Sarah Palin wanted them to put the child up for adoption. Sarah also wanted Tripp to call her "mommy" instead of "grandma"!!

When asked about the book during a July appearance on the The Tonight Show, Bristol said that Levi is "gonna have to find a screenwriter or something to come up with more obnoxious lies, so I’m not worried about it."

Photo: Wenn

The shots keep coming in the Bristol Palin vs. Mercede Johnston feud. Hopefully, Bristol will eventually be able to pick herself up off the mat long enough to respond.

More quotes from Mercede's epic Playboy interview were revealed today, and the sister of baby daddy-extraordinaire Levi Johnston had even more choice words for the Palin clan. So why did her brother stay with Bristol so long and even get back together with her as recently as 2010, if she's such an evil sociopath? “Levi was whipped like Todd [Palin]," Mercede says. "Because Bristol is very manipulative. She’d use sex to get her way on many things. I don’t think Bristol wanted to be with him whatsoever, not at all. It was all about her using her body to get Levi to retract his statements, and it worked."

As much as I love Palin-bashing, you have to take everything Mercede says with a grain of salt. That said, I totally buy a scenario in which Sarah convinced Bristol to get back together with Levi so they could shut his redneck @ss up and get him to stop making damaging statements to the press. Damn, can we get these hicks a real reality show, that's not all scripted BS like Sarah Palin's Alaska? It's friggin' drama central up there. Real Housewives of Wasilla would be ratings gold.

Putting Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston's 19 year-old sister together in a room from here on out is going to be AWKWARD! Mercede Johnston took off her layered Alaskan Eskimo ware and posed nude for next month's issue of Playboy. Naturally if Levi's sister is going to be featured anywhere, those involved would want her to talk about Sarah Palin and her insipid eldest daughter. Luckily, Mercede delivers.

Mercede on Bristol: "Everything is about her, her, her. She has to have her own way. She’ll be supersweet and then she turns into the most evil person I’ve ever known... I didn’t know someone could be so vindictive and evil."

I'm with Mercede 100% because Bristol did seem "evil" on Sarah Palin's Alaska.

Mercede continued: "[She's] a sociopath. She doesn’t think anything she could do or does is wrong.”

She's miserable, we get that, but calling Bristol a sociopath is a bit much. Bristol is just like Sarah, everyone else is wrong and she's always right. I had no respect for Bristol before, but she really turned me off when she said that her virginity was "stolen" by Levi Johnston. I don't care how bad your breakup gets, implying that your ex raped you just because makes you pretty evil in my book.