Vanessa Hudgens is Candies girl of 2011. Britney Spears posed in numerous Candies ads since 2009 and tweeted "So fun being a Candie's Girl! Look out for the @Candiesbrand pics of their new girl, Vanessa Hudgens!"

Replied Vanessa: "Thnx, @BritneySpears, you're a tough act to follow ...but, I'm so excited to be the new Candie's girl for 2011!! – xo"

Which in Snarky terms translates into 'Thanks, b!tch. You've had your day and your glory in the Candie's sun, now move your wrecked weave @ss over and watch the new HBIC show you how it's done.'

Days ago Kanye West tweeted: "Yo Britney, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you be #1, but me and Jay-Z's single is one of the best songs of all time! LOL."

Britney's manager Adam Leber was not amused. He responded with: "Thanks for 'letting' us be #1. Much appreciated."

Yeezy later chimed in with: "On a serious note I'm truly happy for Britney Spears. No hate in 2011... I thought LOL signified a joke."

Kanye's mic snatching skills will never be considered funny to other industry artists who have to accept awards while his drunken self is in the same room. That's like someone saying "Remember that one time when I shot your mom in the face? Guess what? I bought a gun yesterday! LOL!" Or "Remember how I f*cked your boyfriend? I ran into him at a hotel last night. He invited me to his room! Muahahahahaha!"

Kanye explained his Brit Brit comment in another one of his Twitter rants. We've posted the screen caps after the jump! First Yeezy spells Britney Spears' first name as "Brittany," then he spells it as "Brittney." That's actually a bigger insult than his initial joke. I love it.

Britney Spears does not sing, she talks over addictive beats and contagious rhymes, but her music lately has been awful. "Womanizer" is garbage, "3" is only good cause it gets stuck in your head, and "Hold It Against Me" makes no sense at all. I don't even think the lyrics match the sound of her voice, really. A grown woman is asking if a man will hold it against her if she wants to f*ck him? I am at a loss for words.

I know Britney's not talented enough to write her own songs, but maybe she should work on that cause I think she'd come up with something better than this. Considering that all Britney has to do is show up to the studio where her dandruff will fly all over the room and her saggy rock hard nips will point straight to the floor, she really doesn't need to do much on the mic in order for her dumb fans to eat her music right up, convinced that this country bumpkin is a multi-talented legend. However, she should still try to put out a better product than this. Brit Brit is not evolving, she's taking a step back.

Jump in to listen to "Hold It Against Me" for yourself.

It sounds like Britney's new album will drop one year after it was rumored to, but at least it will be coming out. Britney Spears' new single is only days away! Britney's new song titled "Hold It Against Me," and it drops on January 7.

The song is being produced by Dr. Luke and Max Martin. Sharon Dastor, program director for New York's Z100 said, "The beat that they give her is really unique compared to other artists — this infectious bass beat beneath the song. Plus, the hook is just amazing."

I'm not a big fan of Britney's debut single "Womanizer" from her last album, and the record itself isn't her best. It will be interesting to hear what the new single and her new songs sound like. Producers are promising that Brit's going in a different direction, which is easy to do when you don't write your own songs and all you have to do is show up to the studio where there's help to make you sound decent.

Britney has been enjoying a break for the past two years. Something tells me that 2011 is going to be an amazing year in music. So many great albums are expected to drop... And speaking of New Year's, Happy New Year all! We'll be back on Monday.

If Britney Spears had never become famous, she'd probably be quietly squeezing out welfare babies in some Louisiana trailer park. She might be married to some three-toothed Cletus, living off of her settlement money from the time she slipped at Wal-Mart, and wondering what might have been if she had gone to that Mickey Mouse Club audition when she was nine. It may not have been a perfect life, but in many ways, it would've been better than turning into a bald-headed crazy pants in front of the entire world.

Britney was never cut out for fame. At least not the kind of fame that force you to fake your virginity at 16 and keeps you in front of paparazzi cameras for the rest of your natural life. She's a sad case in a lot of ways. Forced to face pressure and scrutiny that most of us will never know at the height of her awkward phase, Britney has suffered the kind of public ridicule and lack of a private life that would take a toll on anyone, and it nearly ruined her. I mean, let's not feel too sorry for Brit. The pile of money she sleeps on is probably pretty good for drying tears. Point is, she's paid a price for that outrageous fortune.

Naturally, Brit's meltdown came to mind for a lot of people last week when video of fellow ex-child star Miley Cyrus smoking a bong hit the internet. But for me, the connection between Britney and Miley ends with the fact that they both hit the big time by suppressing their sluttiness for Disney. I don't think Miley was blindsided by fame. I think she's a smarter, savvier Britney 2.0 who saw what happened to the young stars of the generation before hers and quit the fake innocent act as soon as she turned legal. When I look at the video of her clearing a bong like a pro, I don't see an imperiled young woman trying to cope with the pressures of fame; I see a typical 18 year-old enjoying her youth and success. Miley seems more confident, more aware of what she's doing than Britney. I bet she wasn't even surprised when one of her friends leaked the bong tape to TMZ. She knows the price of fame, and she seems determined to keep her notoriety from interfering with being a typical, dumb-@ss teenager. And sometimes being a dumb teen means smoking bongs with your friends.

Similarly, it's hard to look at Taylor Momsen without thinking of another snotty young actress whose attitude and bad press often overshadowed her talent. In fact, one look at Taylor, with her drunk cougar makeup and slutty underwear outfits, seems to suggest she's a much bigger train wreck than Lindsay Lohan was at 17. Hell, at that age, Lindsay was still pretending to be a sane, sober part of the Disney machine. Even so, Taylor just seems better suited to the limelight than Lindsay ever was. She doesn't suffer from the delusion that she can do whatever she wants and still get by on the good girl act. She knows we're all watching her every move, so she's open about the fact that she's a parent's worst nightmare. As a result, she'll probably get all this sh!t out of her system while she's young instead of bottling it up until she becomes a truly insane f*ck-up in her mid-twenties.

Britney Spears is mad, y'all! So mad, in fact, that in the classy tradition of pissed off southern belles, she's taken to Twitter to let the world know it can kiss her fat, Louisiana @ss (OK, I added the "fat" part). In other news: Britney Spears knows how to use a computer.

Yep, that's Britney's tweet from last night, and nothing says "radiance" quite like telling the haters to pucker up and tongue punch your brown eye. Sometimes I worry that Brit is too mature.

In fairness, she actually has good reason to be angry. The audio of Britney complaining about getting smacked around by Jason Trawick is almost certainly fake and Radar Online and Star Magazine will soon face a losing battle against Brit's lawyers. Plus, it must piss her off that years after the fact, she's still paying the price for being married to Louisiiana yokel, Jason Alexander, for two days. It was only a matter of time before that sh!tkicker tried to cash in, but I always thought he'd come up with something better than recording a conversation with some chick who kinda, sorta sounds like Britney and selling it to the tabloids.

So, Star, Radar, and redneck husband number 1 will likely soon be exposed as the opportunistic frauds that they are, but I really think we should let the courts decide their punishment. Forcing people to put their faces close to Britney Spears' @ss would have to be considered cruel and unusual punishment. You know how much Taco Bell this chick consumes?

Britney Spears is putting the smackdown on Star magazine for publishing an interview given by Jason Alexander in which he claims Britney is being abused by her current man Jason Trawick. I feel like I can breathe a little easier knowing that she's not the complete redneck trailer trash I was beginning to think she is. 

"Every aspect of the story published by Star Magazine is completely and utterly false and Star Magazine was informed of the falsity of this story before it was published."

Radar Online also released audio tapes, of an alleged Britney and Alexander, where 'Britney' admits she was 'beat on by Trawick. Those tapes have turned out to be complete bullsh!t too..

"The statements attributed to Jason Alexander are a complete fabrication as Britney has not had any form of communication with Mr. Alexander in years. The audio recording posted on Radaronline this morning purporting to be between Britney Spears and Jason Alexander is so obviously fake as to be laughable. Suffice it to say, that Jason Trawick has never laid a hand on Britney."

"These irresponsible statements are defamatory and Britney Spears' legal team will be taking legal action against all of the appropriate parties."

Jason Alexander is full of sh!t and Star magazine fell for it. Yep, I reported it along with the audio tapes, but I, too, had my doubts it was Spears on the audio. Brit's gonna take Star magazine for all its worth and buy some fabulous weaves.

I was convincing myself that Britney Spears' life was becoming less chaotic and somewhat normal since she began dating Jason Trawick. I guess that I was wrong, because Brit's ex-hubby Jason Alexander says Britney has admitted to him that Trawick has hit her.

In a new interview with Star magazine, Jason says Britney is reaching out to him thru texts, emails and phone calls detailing the abuse she has been suffering at the hands of Jason Trawick, and admitting she had been pregnant with his baby.

"Britney is in an abusive relationship. She told me her life had turned into a nightmare." Alexander claims Britney told him that Trawick, "hit her so hard it gave her a black eye," and even said she had been carrying his child earlier in the year.

Britney's 55-hour husband Jason Alexander says he's telling his story because he believes she's "telling me these secrets as a way of getting out of this.” Britney also allegedly admitted she was pregnant with Trawick's baby and says he gave her a black eye after she confronted him about cheating on her with another chick.

Poor Britney is never gonna get out of the Trailerhood. Her life could be turned into the most depressing country song you've ever heard in your life!

Radar Online has obtained a recorded phone conversation between Alexander and Britney in which she admits that Jason Trawick had beat on her. You can listen to the shocking audio here!

Britney Spears is not able to legally break away from her cheese grit making papa, Jamie Spears, cause her conservatorship will extend throughout 2011. Britney's conservatorship was created in 2008 when she shaved her head and made many gossip bloggers rich b!tches.

If Papa Spears was such a good conservator, he'd get his young un to wash her effing hair & detach the mouse trap from her scalp.

According to TMZ, Brit Brit hasn't asked for her conservatorship to end, and she really don't give a damn about it y'all.

We’re told she’s “content” with the current arrangement and is no longer antsy to end it.

Britney is actually under two conservatorships — one to care for her, and another to take care of her business affairs. As for the latter, it will probably remain in place for a long time, because Britney Spears, Inc. has never run more smoothly.

It would have to be a cold day in hell before my adult @ss felt complacent with allowing my father to govern over how I live my life. I'm thinking that Britney's boyfriend Jason Trawick has her in some kind of euphoric state. She probably doesn't care about papa having his way cause the loving is good, which may be all that matters? That's sad, cause sanity is so overrated.

In Britney Spears land, it totally makes sense to go shopping in lingerie and look like you're still wearing makeup from the night before. Little Ms. Brit didn't start out in this sexy outfit, but her weave was a mess from the get go as usual.

She was initially wearing jeans and tennis shoes when she went to the Only Hearts boutique in Santa Monica yesterday, but that little nightie must have been screaming for her to put it on, along with those ugly navy boots.It looks like she has already spilled a little Starbucks on it, or maybe Jason Trawick just left her a little present.

She better not bend down in that little thing or it's another guaranteed crotch shot for the paparazzi!