Chelsea Handler and her boyfriend of less than a year, Andre Balazs, broke up. Chelsea, who is usually up front about everything, chose to keep this relationship private. In May she told Piers Morgan, "I'm seeing someone now, but, I have spent so much time exposing my personal life to everybody that I finally am in a situation where I feel like it's disrespectful to another person."

Andre and Chelsea seemed serious and I thought they'd make it to the altar. When she was asked whether she was in love, she replied "I have very strong feelings." So sad! A split right before the holidays!

Andre was too cute for Chelsea. She's allegedly 36, but she always looks like she's pushing 50. Good luck with your next f*ckship hun.

Chelsea Handler doesn't beat around the bush on her talk show 'Chelsea Lately' and she definitely doesn't hold back during interviews. During a recent sit down with the NY Times, Chelsea made her feelings known about the politically correct world we live in, our society's love for craptacular reality shows like '16 & Pregnant,' and even admits she had an abortion when she was a teenager.

“People are too P.C.. We need to be focusing on other things. We’re seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ and some of these other shows are more racist. Or ‘16 and Pregnant.’ Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you’re a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.”

“I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that’s what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn’t be dishonest about it.”

Yeah, with all of the alcohol consumption Chelsea does, her 20-year-old kid would probably be a complete alcoholic too. You think she'd slow down because a child's involved? This is Ms. Vodka we're talking about.

To each their own. Not every woman wants to have children and not every woman should have children...Especially teenagers. But in general, many females aren't cut out for the mothering job or aren't deserving enough to have children, and there are plenty of examples of those women around the world. Women who have killed their own children, drugged, molested, or abused their children, or women who pop out a dozen kids and live off of child support and welfare are simple examples of what I'm talking about.

Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of dads that fit in that category too.

Photos: WENN

Chelsea Handler is dating a strong lookin' buck who is quite different from her old boy toy 50 Cent. Although Chelsea wouldn't say his name while appearing on Piers Morgan Tonight last night, it has been revealed Chelsea's currently dating Andre Balazs. Andre is a hotelier who owns hot spots such as the Chateau Marmont and Sunset Beach.

During Chelsea's interview with Piers last night, she admitted she's currently dating someone but didn't want to put him on shout.

"I'm seeing someone now, but," she demurred, "I have spent so much time exposing my personal life to everybody that I finally am in a situation where I feel like it's disrespectful to another person."

"I've learned to respect somebody else's privacy. It's not about me, because obviously I would like to make fun of him as much as possible, but he has kids, so I have to be nice."

If Andre looks familiar, you might recall he dated Uma Thurman a few years ago. I can't believe someone has finally tamed Chelsea enough to keep her mouth closed. He must be seriously hung.

Photos:WENN

Jenna Jameson is throwing around some fighting words about Chelsea Handler on Twitter, saying "Chelsea handler makes fun of peoples kids... Probably because she's a dried up old whore. Just cuz I say it like it is...... Don't hate...... She talks massive sh!t.. Ok, whatever...."

Although Jenna didn't say what brought her to a boiling point to sound off on Twitter last night about Chelsea, one can only assume it has something to do with Chelsea calling Jenna raunchy.

During an interview in December with Katie Couric for Glamour magazine, Chelsea said "I don't like the word raunchy. I'm irreverent and I say things that a lot of people wouldn't say, and some of it probably isn't in the best taste. But when I hear the word raunchy, to me that describes Jenna Jameson. Look, I'm never going to please everybody."

While discussing making jokes about kids, Chelsea said "I think talking about children and their looks is not nice. Like, unattractive children. I don't do that. And I don't talk about people who are dying. I think that's inappropriate."

So where is this crazy talk about making fun of kids coming from? Ms. Jenna-I've-had-every-hole-on-my-body-used-and-abused-by-hundreds-of-men-women-sex-toys-and-inanimate-objects-Jameson is calling Chelsea Handler a dried up whore? Hello pot, meet kettle!

It's clever on Jenna's part because she's becoming more irrelevant by the day and is a dried up old whore herself, and bashing another celebrity is a good way to get your face out there again.

I woke this morning with the unmistakable feeling that I was about to vomit through my eyeballs while crying blood. At first, I thought it was just because of the 4 gallons of egg nog that I'd funneled the night before. Then I went on the intrawebs and realized that it was because my body already knew what my brain could never accept: 50 Cent and Chelsea Handler had spent the night having saggy, craggly steroid sex. *covers mouth with hands, runs to bathroom*

Chelsea tweeted the above pic last night with the caption, "I don't know why anyone thinks I would ever date a rapper." By "rapper," she really means "black dude," she just didn't have the balls to commit to her own joke. Since she's not at all funny, and her whole career is just based on saying outrageous sh!t, that's seriously lame of her.

Anyway, rumors about Chelsea and Fiddy have been circulating for months, and this was apparently Chelsea's way of confirming that it's on and poppin' (I assume she's gonna start using outdated hip-hop slang now). I guess it's good for Chelsea, since, again, her whole career is based on shock value. The real victim here is 50 Cent. I suppose he'll get props in the hood for banging a white chick, but did it have to be that white chick? If he's that into gross female comedians, thank god he wasn't around in the 80s when Roseanne was huge (in every way).

Chelsea Handler is an Angelina Jolie hater and I love it. Chelsea is a pal of Jennifer Aniston's, so she undoubtedly has her back, but she also says when many of us have thought about Angelina, but we've never said. She's a homewrecking c*nt! In an interview with Katie Couric for Glamour magazine, Chelsea lets it be known she doesn't intend on hanging out with Ang in the near future.

"Yeah, I’m not a fan. She just doesn’t come off to me as a sincere woman. She seems like a woman that you’d really want to avoid."

Chelsea's lack of affection for Angelina Jolie didn't happen overnight. During her show Monday night, Chelsea made a point to defend her latest Angelina bashing and explained she's been doing it for years. "Can I just say that I've been making fun of Angelina Jolie since she made out with her brother?"

Angelina isn't Mother Theresa, so I get great pleasure out of listening to someone like Chelsea give her the smack down. It's like some folks think Angelina shouldn't be touched because she's this huge star. Everyone makes comments about the amount of kids she has, and we all wonder what country she's going to adopt from next, but it's rare to hear someone ram it to Angelina. Kudos to Chelsea.

When I first heard of this story, I thought that Chelsea Handler was just being like a self-hating gossip blogger: jealous! Then I watched Chelsea's performance from New Jersey over the weekend, and I'm okay with Chelsea's profanity filled rant because it's funny. I agree that women who aren't friends with other women are b!tches, but I also think that's a good thing since most of us have had sex with all of our guy friends that aren't gay. Whatever works!

I think it's lame that Angelina Jolie is still being called a homewrecker. She deserves a break. What humanitarian efforts has Chelsea made? If homewreckers do as much charity work as Angelina, we'd all benefit from it and some of us would even get over the fact that one relationship was ruined and another one was made as a result of the "homewrecking."

If Jennifer Aniston wasn't so obsessed with her career and had kids, which Brad Pitt desperately wanted, I don't think he would have left her. If I were with Brad, I'd get knocked up every 11 months and we'd be practicing getting me knocked up for the next kid while leading up to and throughout my entire third trimester of each pregnancy. In summary, Chelsea is transparent. She's just an angry self-hating gossip blogger with a mic instead of a keyboard.

You don't wanna miss Chelsea's stand up. This video begins with her Angie rant, but the entire clip is hilarious!

Chelsea Handler is a funny lady, or so I'm told, but no one could have guessed the hilarious final punchline to the 6-month joke that is her sex tape controversy. Turns out the tape will never see the light of the day, because the anonymous owner wanted to sell it for six-figures!

Bahahahaah!!! The idea of anyone paying 100 grand or more for the chance to see Chelsea Handler's gross self trying to bang her way into Hollywood is pretty funny. Good one, Chelsea!

Actually, Chelsea's been saying for months that this whole thing is a joke gone wrong, and she's not really having sex on the tape. Joke or not, people who have seen the footage say that she's definitely naked in it and that the tape is "pretty graphic." No one cares if you were just joking, Chelsea. I guess pornstars are just acting, if you wanna get technical. You can't fake naked, and that's all anyone cares about.

Anyway, the real winner here is our eyeballs. Even if you weren't planning on buying the tape, you know how these things go...The tape comes out, there are clips online, you catch an accidental eye-full of a naked Chelsea Handler, which is something you can never scrub out of your brain. Ever. So, thanks, delusional lunatic who tried to get Kim Kardashian prices for Chelsea friggin' Handler. You saved us all a lot of trouble.

I was super excited that Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent were f*cking but it appears that's not true. After being spotted together in New Orleans, the web went crazy that the two are a couple, but Chelsea took to Twitter to deny the dating rumor.

“Everyone, calm down. I met with mr. Cent about a potential project. There's nothing to report yet, ill let you know if there is.”

As a celebrity, you can't hang out with someone and not be accused of sleeping with them. Well crap. That would have been the most mismatched couple of the year and it's all lies. I had fantasies about them snuggling in bed with 50 Cent wearing his bullet proof vest, and using a bottle of Grey Goose as a sex toy. Kidding! That actually made me a little nauseous just to write it.

Yep, you read that right, so you should probably take a moment to swallow the vomit rising in your throat before you continue reading.

Rapper 50 Cent and gnarled oak tree come to life Chelsea Handler were spotted hooking up in New Orleans over the weekend, and after Katrina and the oil spill, I think this city has finally seen all it can take.

I don't know why I'm so disturbed by this, but it's a bit like catching your grandmother in bed with Lil Wayne. It just ain't right. The thought of Fiddy putting his magic stick in Chelsea's catcher's mitt-like vadge is the kind of thing that makes me wanna dip my brain in bleach.

Maybe Chelsea's keeping 50 perpetually sh*tfaced, or maybe he's been tricked into thinking she's a catch by the fact that she's a rich white chick. Either way, someone needs to wake his @ss up. There's nothing gangsta about club-hopping with an eight-foot cougar who won't stop telling midget jokes.