Photos of Christina Aguilera almost completely naked and sporting some crazy bruised up legs have surfaced. Are they hot? I'm not sure I would go that far because it looks like she just came off a 3-day bender, but some of you freaks are into that sort of trashy look. Before you're quick to jump up and doubt these are pics of Christina, keep in mind this is what her closet looks like. I Googled that shiz.

Now of course they could possibly be a photo editing job, but many celebrities seems to have a naughty side and love having scandalous naked pictures taken. We all do!

Clown Girl Makeup Chick and Opportunist Douchebag were spotted at LAX airport yesterday catching a flight to Tokyo, where Christina Aguilera will promote her new movie that flopped.

From all the "Burlesque" clips that I've seen, Xtina can't act to save her life, so it's smart that she chose a movie where she does a lot of singing. According to his website, Aguilera's new boyfriend, Matt Rutler, has canceled a performance with his band to fly across the world with her.

I really don't like this f*ckship because, first of all, most heterosexual men are evil. And 2nd) Men who make little to no money but date women who make more in a year than they'll make in their entire life are especially evil. Like Kevin Federline, they make sure to knock you up before they bounce when the relationship unravels, and you're left to raise the kids while they spend your money on new b!tches. Btw, I am not bitter, despite all of the tires I slashed in the middle of the night yesterday.

Jessica Simpson is too dumb to realize why Eric Johnson is trying to wife her up within months, and we're hoping that Xtina will prove she's not equally as stoopid!

So Christina Aguilera decided to stop pretending that she enjoyed having sex with a man who looks hairy enough to braid his booty crack shut, and dumped him for a dude who looks just like him, minus the hairy ape part. Christina has a lot of people to answer to, natch, since she's famous and stuff.

Xtina told People magazine: “Things were so unhealthy and unhappy for both Jordan and me, I knew I had to end it. I really didn’t want to hurt Jordan, and I felt torn about splitting our family up. … When you’re unhappy in your marriage, your children are the ones who suffer.”

When you think about it, Christina really wanted to break free from bat boy. Desperately. She knew she had a movie coming up and would have to face questions from the press, but pulled the plug anyway as an early Hanukkah present to Jordy.

Christina also spoke about her own Antwaun Cook, Matt Rutler, saying, “He’s the kind of person you could spend hours with on the phone talking to and all of a sudden it’s daylight.”

I'm not even trippin' anymore that Christina's guy is using her for publicity. She's also using him for sex. It's a win-lose, and it's her damn business. Christina has never struck me as an idiot. She'll get herself a shinier, hotter new upgrade soon enough. 

Christina Aguilera is falling for her new man Matt Rutler. The two met each other while he was a set assistant for the movie 'Burlesque' and their relationship has been budding ever since Christina filed for divorce. In a new interview with People, Christina admits she's got some kind of love for Matt but is taking it slow considering she just got out of a marriage.

"There's a love there, yes. I'm having fun, I'm dating and it's something I haven't had in a really long time."

"Once I filed for divorce, we started dating. I'm not trying to jump into anything. I just left a five-year marriage. I'm taking it slow and trying to be happy."

Just because her first marriage failed, doesn't mean she won't walk down the aisle in the future.

"Wholeheartedly. I know one day I'll be able to feel that again for someone. That idea will never die."

It must be nice to make out with someone and you don't have to break your neck to get around his honkin' nose. I couldn't deal with that as long as Christina did. I'm glad she's happy but she should take a few months to focus on herself and humping lots of random men instead of sticking to one. Her naughty spot has to be rusty and should be worked like a well oiled machine.

Christina Aguilera and new boyfriend Matt Rutler may be becoming inseparable. The day after Thanksgiving, Christina flew to New York to see Mr. Rutler while Jordan Bratman spent the holiday weekend with their son Max.

"This is the first Thanksgiving she was without Max," says a source. "It was really hard for her and she was feeling sad, so she decided to go to the East Coast with Matt and a group of friends."

On Nov. 24. The couple were seen dancing, according to an onlooker, who added: "Christina was in a great mood and seemed very into Matt."

On Saturday, Christina, Matt and a few friends went to Matt's parents house and spent time with his mom, Kathleen. The source claims that Christina and Matt are "still getting to know each other better" and Xtina's meet and greet with Matt's mom doesn't mean that they're serious. Matt's doing all the right things to get Christina to fall hard for him and she's going right along with it.

Jumping from a five year marriage into a serious f*ckship is one of many things that sound good on paper. The Grammy winner better buy the "My Days" app available for Droid phones (it's pretty much digital birth control), and hold onto her debit card and review all bank statements cause this 'romance' has Kevin Federline 2.0 written all over it. I think she may be suffering from Antwaun Cook syndrome.

Who knows if Christina Aguilera will keep her rebound around longer than Kate Winslet did, but a few things are certain: He's an upgrade from Samantha Ronson and Jordan Bratman.

Christina met Matt when he was a set assistant on her new movie, Burlesque. After Christina performed at the American Music Awards, rocking her perky gut - Spanx can be a bad thing - she and Matt were spotted leaving her hotel, which is where the photo above was taken.

Christina Aguilera was a petite and sexy little vixen when she first hit the scene. Oh, how things have changed. It's all that comfort food, which should be heaps and heaps in quantity.

Can you imagine being married to Jordan Bratman and finding out that even when you downgrade as much is humanly possible, you still can't make your relationship work? Pass the ice cream which should be served on top of the pepperoni pizza smothered in bacon and mac & cheese.

Christina pulled a Britney Spears by performing in an outfit she had no business wearing on TV, not in that shape. Not when we're used to seeing how thin she used to look. The same goes for Jessica Simpson, what she looks like today is worlds apart from what she looked like in The Dukes of Hazzard. Had both of these women looked this way from the beginning, no one would be Google searching it.

Xtina loves the gays, so I don't know what happened here. My gay BFF always tells me how fierce and fabulous I look, but he's not afraid to give me major 'tude if he thinks that I don't look hot. I can hear him now, "Um, honey. NO!" Hear that, Christina?

The fug train keeps right on rolling for Christina Aguilera. After years of banging the melting, bearded blood hound that is Jordan Bratman, she moved on to Gollum from Lord of the Rings Samantha Ronson, now she's rumored to be rubbing against the awful tattoos of Good Charlotte guitarist, Benji Madden.

A source close to Christina says the relationship is strictly about bangin', "It's a sex thing. They get along really well. Christina likes the place where it's going and does not want to ruin anything." Umm...yeah. When you're screwing one of the Maddens, it's probably best to keep it on a friends with benefits level. Then again, Benji's bang list includes Paris Hilton and Holly Madison so he's probably crawling with infections they don't even have a name for yet. The best idea would be to have nothing to do with people named Benji at all.

If all these rumors about Christina are true, she'll have f*cked every dude and dude-like chick in Hollywood by Christmas. Here's hoping she makes people like Benji double bag it. She doesn't need to pop out a stupidly named Madden baby like Nicole Richie.

Christina Aguilera is trying to make up for 5 years of being married to jowly beard-o Jordan Bratman by banging everything that breathes. She's already been getting her lez on, having giant group scissor sessions with entire all-girl softball teams (or something like that), and now she's moved on to dudes.

Christina was spotted out on the town with a "male friend" and another couple over the weekend. The "friend" is a production assistant on Christina's new movie, Burlesque.  Hmmm...funny how those "male friends" seem to come out of the woodwork as soon as the ring comes off. I'm gonna keep putting quotation marks around "friend" to imply that he's sticking his peen in Christina even as we speak.

For  the record, I don't buy that Christina is bi. The only chick she's been associated with is Sam Ronson, who's much more of a man than I am, and now she's back to dudes. I think she's just having a post-marriage crisis and sleeping with anyone who doesn't mind waking up covered in glitter and fake tan residue. I also think if she's into skinny, androgynous types, she should holla at me in the comments section. I'm available most weekends, but I refuse to pay for dates unless we're talking dollar menu.

Apparently, Christina Aguilera divorced Jordan Bratman so that she could live out her lifelong dream of becoming a frat boy. All she wants to do is get wasted and bang chicks!

Seen here drunk as a mofo on Halloween, Christina has apparently been seeing a lot of Samantha Ronson lately. By which I mean, she's been seeing her frequently AND she's been seeing her boobies. At first I thought there was no way the Sam Ronson rumors were true. It sounded a little too perfect: Christina Aguilera dumps her husband for Lindsay Lohan's fugly ex-girlfriend? It just sounds like BS. The thing is, people keep talking about it and no one's come forward to deny it...

In fact, London paper The Sun published some choice quotes from a friend of Sam's who quoted the DJ as saying, "Sam said she had a threesome with Xtina in Mexico last month, that's when she realized she was a 'hot piece of @ss.' Sam said Xtina is 'horny as a college freshman.'"

Well, if you can get over how annoying it is that dude keeps calling her "Xtina," that's a pretty amazing quote. What's the deal with Sam Ronson? Is she a friggin' vampire? She looks like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, but she hits hotter celeb ass than anyone. When is she gonna publish a book to let dudes in on the secret of having hot Mexican threesomes with horny, recently-divorced MILFS? Obviously, Sam can use those nimble fingers of hers for more than just spinning records.