Dina Lohan
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Like all of the self-absorbed Lohans, Michael Lohan plays by his own rules. Dina Lohan's mentally disturbed sperm donor leaked private phone conversations to the media and he may end up in the clink for it.

Michael's selfish acts may earn him the golden ticket to becoming some inmates' newest butt boy.

It's all over a protective order Dina obtained in Nassau County, New York back in 2005, which bans Michael from communicating with Dina by email or phone until 2011.

One of the taped conversations was reportedly recorded in 2008, which means that Papa Lohan violated his protective order which could land him behind bars. Dina Lohan's attorneys have already contacted the Nassau County District Attorney in connection with the audio tapes.

I really don't know how to feel about this one. I wouldn't want to send my father to prison and I wouldn't want to co-sign on my mother doing so. I think fame hungry attention whores can not be rehabilitated. And if Dina and Lindsay simply aspire to silence him, there are other ways to accomplish that. Hint, hint: "Who gon check me, boo?" Pookie and his crew!

Dina Lohan is ready to sink her three inch teeth into Michael Lohan's neck because of the taped phone conversations he keeps releasing to the press. She's so upset with everything that has been going on in the Lohan news recently that she's speaking out about Michael's behavior.

"The tapes were from a long time ago, and for a father to stoop this low is unforgivable."

I wonder if Dina has done any research to see if it's even legal for Michael to tape their conversations? Probably not. She's too busy making Ali the next Hollywood train wreck. She also says Michael Lohan was given a chance to be in his children's lives again but he blew it and owes some cash flow for child support.

"My heart is breaking for my children that he could do this. He has no visitation anymore and is six months behind in child support. The authorities have been alerted!"

Aaah, it's just another day in Lohan paradise!

Michael Lohan has released yet another tape to prove how f*cked up Lindsay is and believes by doing so she may wake up out of her drug induced slumber and decide she needs to go to rehab. How can you call yourself a good father when you're airing all of your daughter's dirty laundry? This is like brown streaks in your underwear type of dirty laundry.

This time the taped conversation is with Dina Lohan explaining what a hot mess Lindsay has become. Dina has been lashing out at Michael for thinking Lindsay needs an intervention, yet momma Lohan says she tried to do one herself but failed.

"You don't even know what I went through trying to get her into, like, rehab and stuff. She'd punch me in the face, threw me out of the car  like you don't know the [expletive] I went through trying to get her an intervention by myself. It was very difficult."

Punched her own mother in the face and threw her out of the car? What a piece of sh*t daughter! Well, they're all a piece of poop, but to slap your mother around is unacceptable.

Lindsay posted a response to the latest taped conversation on Twitter and says her mother blamed herself for staying with Michael for so long and she begged her mother not to leave because Michael "always threatened to kill her if she did." Michael says Linds is full of crap and he's going to release more tapes to prove what a liar Lindsay is.

Lindsay Lohan is a spoiled brat who thinks she knows everything there is to know about life and believes she has her drug use under control. I give Lindsay three years before she's found dead in a hotel room from a drug overdose.

The attention whore parents of Lindsay Lohan are still battling out their differences about Lindsay's health in the media. Michael Lohan says he's so serious about getting Lindsay the helps she needs, that he's willing to air saved voice mail messages where Dina admits she's worried about Lindsay's health.

The two have been feuding over the last few weeks about Lindsay's drug problem with Michael speaking publicly about staging an intervention with her. Dina denied Lindsay has any kind of problem but Michael says she's full of sh*t. Michael plans to play some of the messages on Entertainment Tonight this coming Monday, which tell a different story. 

"I have proof that Dina has told me Lindsay is on death's doorstep. There have been frantic calls. And I'm going to prove that Dina is the liar, not me."

Michael also said Dina talks nicely about Samantha Ronson to Lindsay but when she speaks with Michael she "blames Lindsay's downfall on the Ronsons." Doh! Michael is busting her out! Maybe I've got a case of the crazies, but I'm beginning to side with Michael Lohan. Somebody smack me around before I buy a Team Michael shirt.

In the midst of launching her own shoe line, Dina Lohan is p*ssed off with her ex-husband Michael Lohan. There's no time for family drama when you're droppin' your own shoe line!

Michael Lohan recently spoke to the media about staging an intervention with Lindsay for her pill popping addiction. He said Dina has told him that if they don't do something about Lindsay's problem, they won't have a daughter.

Dina has come out swinging for Lindsay and said Michael makes things up and doesn't know what's going on in Lindsay's life.

"It is hurtful for a child for her own father, whom she has no relationship with, to say things in public about her like that."

When asked about Michael's comment about Lindsay having a drug problem Dina said "I have no idea what he is talking about. I can't comment on everything my ex says." I wonder if Dina even knows what she's talking about half of the time. She lives in Dinaland 24 hours a day and that's why her 15 year old daughter Ali dresses like a prostitute and Lindsay is always busy looking for her next line to snort.

Neither Michael nor Dina are playing a serious role in their childrens' lives and they wonder why their kids all become f*ck-ups.

Dina Lohan is a train wreck of a mother but she's pretty well known. Like Michael Lohan, Dina has always sought out attention by speaking with the media very very frequently.

Now that she's a bit of a household name, she doesn't need her Living Lohan reality show on E! anymore. But Dina Lohan is burning bridges by saying that E! producers wanted her and her fam to engage in lie-telling (aka standard acting on all reality shows), and so she turned down a second season.

Dina says, "They wanted us to do these crazy things, like my son cheating on his girlfriend, me faking a pregnancy. I was like, 'No, no, no! They had ideas that weren't conducive to our ideas."

Makes you wonder what exactly her ideas were! Dina already tried to get 15 year-old Ali to gain entrance into a 21+ nightclub. Does she want scenes like that featured on the show? If so, Dina should try switching networks and create a new show with a new title: Lohans, Crazy B*tches Who Don't Need No Scripts! Pow.

Dina Lohan is one of those moms who rather spend time allegedly doing lines of cocaine with daughter Lindsay Lohan than being a responsible mother.

White Oprah, 46, took her 15-year-old trainwreck in training, Ali, 15, to Villa nightclub with Blohan last week. Things didn't go as planned.

"Do you know who I am?" Dina protested when they were turned away at the door because of Ali's age.

"You're making a huge mistake. Huge!" Lindsay added.

Lindsay's little declaration is code for other things. She's gonna get all her drug dealers, porn star king friend, porn stars and their friends to stop partying at Villa. Watch out now. It's not like Linds' crew would spend much on drinks anyway when their trippin' on other controlled substances.

Lindsay and Ali better be thankful that Linds made funds from Disney cause you know Dina would be out workin' the corner with them so she could get herself some designer bags. LiLo believes that it's a "huge mistake" when folks abide by the law? Explains everything!

No commentary necessary. Dina Lohan's delusion speaks for itself.

UPDATE: The Dina Lohan is a fake Twitter page created by a fan of gossip site ontd. Grrrrr! I had my suspicions. Dina isn't that hawt in her Twitter avatar and I guessed she would go for a cleavage shot if that were actually her. Sorry, all.

I am getting pretty good at spotting the fakes though. Another dork posing as Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill said the pages were fakes. I knew it, they had damn movie posters as their background image. No real celeb would do that. Just lettin' ya know.

As if we don't hear enough about the Lohans as it is, Michael Lohan wants to reopen the divorce case against white Oprah ex-wife Dina. Michael feels he gave up enough crap to Dina and she's not even making an attempt to have the kids see Michael's parents. Michael's mother was in a car accident on Easter and his father is gravely ill also.

"I gave her the family house, all the furniture and the $200,000 she owed me just so that I could see my kids and have a relationship with them," Michael tells the New York Daily News newspaper.Micheal claims Lindsay's grandparents also haven't seen their granddaughter "even though my father is dying, and my mother was in a car accident on Easter. [Dina] told me, ‘It's up to the kids if they want to see their grandparents,'" he adds. "But she's made no effort to put them in touch or make this happen."

Whatever Michael, you're just finding a reason to get your name back in the media. You're as much of an attention whore as Dina, and your kids have all learned well from it too. They're all on a path to destruction and you two are the ones bringing it on. Congrats on being crappiest parents of the year. :)

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Dina Lohan's reality show will be hitting the E! network this summer as she continues on her quest of being white Oprah. Dina will show us how easy it is to turn your children into fame whores in a small amount of time!

Viewers will go inside the Lohan's Long Island home for the first time to follow Dina as she works double duty as mom and manager to help Ali try to follow in her big sister [Lindsay's] famous footsteps," a press release for the show says. Cameras will also follow the duo to Vegas as Ali records an album. "Dina is determined to help each of her four kids fulfill their dreams and refuses to live in fear of what others may think, despite being under the paparazzi microscope," the press release adds.

I feel sorry for Ali having someone like Lindsay to look up to. Ali should work on finding a cure for irritable bowel syndrome for people like me instead of working on becoming the next rehab whore. Since she's not gonna go that route, you know I'm gonna be watching this ridiculous Lohan show with the rest of you.

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