Dumbasses News

Khloe Kardashian wanted to spice up her reality show, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami: Insert professional black athlete boyfriend here.

Rashad McCants tells the New York Post that Khloe allegedly checked his voicemail (on her show) and heard messages from other women. Khloe says that Rashad cheated on her, but Rashad says it's not true because Khloe didn't even have his phone number.

He says he and Khloe "had already called it quits" in January, before the segment was even taped.

So if Khloe was faking it, Rashad was too. And furthermore, why is he even talking about it now?

Within a week of a stripper named Nicole Forrester claiming that Josh Duhamel got sexalicious with her, Fergie and Josh wine and dined at Chops restaurant. Chops is located next door to the St. Regis Hotel where the stripper says Josh stripped her.

When Fergie and Josh walked into the restaurant, the manager asked them if they wanted a "discreet" table so everyone wouldn't gawk or whatever, but Fergie said, "I want to sit out where the action is." She's one territorial broad.

"They were sitting next to each other in a booth side by side and talking closely."

Yet another red flag that this is all fakery! Couples that have been together as long as Fergie and Josh have DO NOT sit side by side in some 'come stare at us' booth in a restaurant.

The twosome stayed at the restaurant FOR ABOUT AN HOUR.

Fergie could only pretend to be happy with Josh for 60 minutes? Their sex life must be so bad right about now. If Josh wasn't cheating before, he just may start.

Somebody got to do what many of us have dream of, punching Kim Kardashian in the face. Kim participated in a charity boxing match for The Dream Foundation and ended up getting smacked around more than she expected.

"My girl was a good sport, but she was tough! I knew I had to do it for charity, since that's what it was all about, but man, my girl could throw a punch! Look at my black eye!!!"

She's so nice about the whole ordeal, but let's remember these people paid to get in the ring with Kim and her brother Rob so they could beat the sh*t out of them. I don't believe it's a real black eye. That's some black eyeshadow she smudged under her brow to look like a bruiser. if you get punched hard enough to cause a black eye, there's going to be swelling and I'm not seeing any in this picture.

Lady Gaga is one of the most talented pop stars in the industry right now, but she dresses up to get attention. She always get it, it works, but her quest to constantly attain more press has made her a joke.

Gaga has a strong fan base that doesn't need the antics in order to remain interested in her art. When I think of all the successful musicians in history who've had significant careers without the gimmicks, pretty much all of 'em, it makes me pity Gaga a little bit. B*tch is stoopid!

Kristen Stewart hates fame with a passion because it forces her to be a hermit, yet she wants to have a lengthy career? Maybe she's like a vampire who doesn't like to be out in the sunlight. Heh. Heh. Heh.

Kristen pulls a Megan Fox and tells Blackbook Magazine, “I don’t want to be a movie star like Angelina Jolie. Nothing about being a celebrity is desirable. I’m an actor. It’s bizarre to me that everybody’s so obsessive.”

I think what Kristen was trying to say was simply poorly worded. It sounds like Kristen tried to convey that she wants to be known for her work more than home wrecking and adopting. Not wanting 'to be a movie star' may also mean that K. Stew doesn't wanna go for the big budget films like Angie does cause she's "an actor" who strives to be somewhat picky about her roles. Whatever. I'm gonna stop trying to decipher that mess. Angelina Jolie's an Oscar winner, so Kristen's actor a*s should want to be like her.

Hailey Glassman felt as though she needed to explain herself after suddenly becoming nothing but an ex.

Hailey Tweeted that she just wanted to thank everyone for supporting her. She claims that she "was brutally honest and put everything out on the table in front of the entire world." I hope she takes that same table and hides herself under it while locked in a room in a community without cell phone service or internet access.

Hailey added, "At least I know in my heart I spoke the truth so I'm OK with your judgment. Now if i'm disliked and hated on fine. At least I know in my heart I spoke the truth so now im fine with your judgements."

I'm glad she's fine with our judgments, cause the opinions most people have of her are unfavorable. Hailey's no saint for getting "in front of the entire world" and claiming that Jon Gosselin emotionally abused her. I'm sure she was, like, subconsciously planning a press tour schedule where she could talk jizz about Jon. Oops! Her timing and preparation were way off.

It's Friday, all, and I know that the one thing you're missing in your life, before heading out for your Halloween weekend, is a Jon & Kate Plus 8 story. Forget the one I just posted, this is the one that will make your life complete.

Jon Gosselin has responded to Hailey Glassman's accusations that he's emotionally abusive to her. The father of eight says that his 22-year-old rebound "has paid a significant price" to live under the media's microscope. He also said that Hailey has "selflessly" endured the pressures of being "under the media glare."

Jon said,

"I am grateful for her emotional support and I regret any pain that my actions have caused her. I am committed to making things right with Hailey as well as Kate and especially my children. I ask you to please give me the opportunity to prove myself."

I'm surprised they're still together since Jonny pulled the plug on Jon & Kate Plus 8. It's sad that Jon actually believes his f*ckship with Hailey is going to last much longer.

Taylor Lautner is a hot, modest, shy little sweetheart. He has said that all of the attention from female fans is "embarrassing." Scarred by the admiration, Taylor tells MTV that he has no plans to go shirtless on film again.

When asked about gaining 30 lbs of muscle, Taylor said that his motivation "was the movie and the fans."

Taylor doesn't want his abs to affect his career, saying, "I don't want to become known as just a body. If I had to choose, I would never take my shirt off again in a movie."

Silly Taylor! Years later when he has a gut, he'll be making his kids watch New Moon so he can prove that he used to be hot.

There is little doubt that Khloe Kardashian is dickmatized, and now she has the fresh ink to prove it. I wonder WTF she was drinking when she came up with this bright idea. 

Khloe says that she was eating out with Lamar on Saturday night when she said, "Let's go to Tattoo Mania! I want a tattoo!"

Lamar, being pussymatized himself, agreed to go. And since the two are so in love, Khloe had "LO" tattooed on her hand and Lamar had "KO" tattooed on his.

Khloe and Lamar are clearly living their lives moment by blissful moment. I can't hate.

... Just cheking. Megan Fox is promoting Jennifer's Body in Europe and she had an interview with UK publication 'The Telegraph' where she continues to say ridiculous things. Megan Fox tries way too hard. She tries to be deep, she tries to be sexy by talking about sex all the time, and she's also a worry wart.

On all her verbal diarrhea:

“I sometimes forget how things will translate once they are in print. But this is a bull—- industry and I made a decision not to be a bull—- person. I need to hold onto my soul and my integrity and I can’t compromise that.”

On the differences between public perception of sexuality in the States vs. Europe:

"Our society is still very tied to archaic biblical principles that we try to force on each other and force on our children. In Europe, women are celebrated for their sexuality and appreciated for it. There you can still be both sexy and intelligent.”

On her has been boyfriend for the past five years, Brian Austin Green:

"You don’t come across a lot of genuine people in this industry and I feel blessed to have someone who will stick around through my bull—-"

On what she aspires to accomplish as a role model:

“I just really want it at some point to be OK for women and young girls to be sexy because I think that’s a power, a gift that we were given by God or the universe or whatever. I think I’m a different kind of role model for young girls.”

Megan Fox thinks there is no life beyond Brian Austin Green cause he sticks around through her bullsh*t? You mean, he sticks around through her rising career? Who wouldn't! She's so co-dependently tragic, she sounds like Kim Kardashian.

And WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE MEGAN FOX, feeling and/or being sexy can be easier than if you were one of the many Plain Janes or overweight "women and young girls." Being sexy is "a power, a gift" which was given to this b*tch cause she has good genes.... Actually, I think I have to agree with Megan. Brian Austin Green must put up with plenty of bullsh*t.