Dumbasses (Page 11)

If you've been living under a rock or just don't care about silly politician scandals, than you may have missed this big story yesterday but I'll give you a recap. Congressman Christopher Lee was put on blast by Gawker yesterday when they revealed a shirtless picture of Chris that he had emailed to a chick he met on Craigslist. Not only was he dumb enough to do something like send a topless pic of himself, he also lied about his marriage. Whoopsy!

The conversation he had with the anonymous Craigslist chick went like this:

Chick: Thanks...so do you always send shirtless pics to women from cl?

Chris: Sorry. Its all I had. So when was your last date. And how did it go

Chick: A few weeks ago with a coworker's cousin..and it didn't go . I wanted to leave after 10 min...yours?

Chris: Lol. last Monday.. She was not as advertised. Lol.. how do people think you aren't going to figure it out once you see them in person.

Chick: They're hoping you'll let it slide. Are you divorced?

Chris: Yes.. one child.. You?

What.an.idiot! So he didn't only deny he's married, he also admits he's dating. This guy is a class act. Shortly after the story broke on Gawker, Chris resigned and released a statement which says, "I regret the harm that my actions have caused my family, my staff and my constituents. I deeply and sincerely apologize to them all."

I think in the future Chris will keep his shirtless Old Spice audition photo on lock down.

News broke this morning that Mark Zuckerberg has a "stalker." Pradeep Manukonda, 31, asked Mark for money when stalkers usually make requests to hang out together and drink each other's blood for dinner. Regardless, Mark obtained a restraining order against Pradeep after he showed up to Facebook's Palo Alto office and Mark's home.

Pradeep was sending FB messages to Mark alleging that his mother is very ill and he would like some money from Mark to pay for her medical treatment. Pradeep failed to say what illness his mother allegedly has.

TMZ reported: Mark filed legal papers claiming the guy has tried to "follow, surveil and contact Mr. Zuckerberg using language threatening his personal safety" ... and the safety of his girlfriend and his sister. Pradeep had gone to several Facebook offices in Palo Alto attempting to contact Mark to ask for money for his financially-strapped family.

Pradeep also told Mark "please help me, then I am ready to die for you." Smart. Of all the people to ask for money, telling a multi-billionaire that he should help you and then you'll off yourself sounded promising to Pradeep? This man is in dire need of some @ss.

Pradeep now says that he is extremely sorry for his actions, he never intended to harm or scare Zuckerberg, and he won't contact Mark again. He won't get a good job now either. When a pathetic direct message exchange ends up all over TMZ, consider yourself screwed.

Lindsay Lohan is back in trouble and this time it's over missing jewelry! See Lindsay was doing a little bling shopping last week and apparently walked out with a $2,500 necklace that wasn't paid for. According to TMZ, one of Lindsay's associates turned the necklace over to the cops and this may have landed Lindsay in a police investigation.

Last week the owner of an L.A. store filed a police report, claiming a $5,000 necklace was stolen from her business. We're told the store surveillance video shows Lindsay in the store, wearing the necklace before it disappeared, although it's unclear if the video actually shows Lindsay walking out of the store with the jewelry.

Cops were in the process of getting a warrant to search Lindsay's home, but last night one of Lindsay's associates turned the piece over to the cops.

Although Lindsay turned the necklace over to the police, it doesn't mean she's free and clear considering she's still on probation...this could get ugly. You're a smart one Ms. Lohan!

On the latest episode of Kourtney and Kim Take New York, Kim Kardashian was bawling her eyes out after discovering that pics of her horse booty and nips were released via her W magazine photoshoot. Kimmy claims that she was promised that her lady parts would have been covered up.

Kim told Khloe Kardashian, Scott Disick, and Kourtney: "Oh my God, I'm more naked that I was in Playboy. I'm so mad right now. [The magazine] promised I would be covered with artwork -- you can see the nipples! The whole concept was sold to me that nothing would be seen. I feel so taken advantage of ... I've definitely learned my lesson. I'm never taking my clothes off again, even if it's for Vogue."

Kim also referred to the pictorial as "full-on porn," which is hilarious considering that she's pretty much an amateur porn star. Kim was so upset because she said that she had worked "so hard" to get past her sextape and she doesn't want people to think that "all [she's] good for is getting naked." Here's a solution Kim: Stop getting naked!

Meanwhile W magazine couldn't sound more unapologetic.

At this point, posting pics of Charlie Sheen's latest porn star/hookers is like trying to give a name to every grain of coke he snorts ("Uhhh...Whitey, Snowflake, Numby Numberson...dammit there's just too many!"). You can never keep up, but it's fun to try!

Especially in this case, where one of the hookers is actually hot for once, and the other one is an insane gold-digger, who actually believed all the crazy promises that Charlie made during his coked-out 3 am ramblings. Just to be clear, Melanie Rios, the brunette, is the one that's actually attractive, at least by Charlie Sheen hooker standards. The other one, Kacey Jordan, is every bit as crazy as she looks and plain stupid enough to think Charlie was actually gonna buy her a Bentley. 

Sheen apparently promised Kacey a powder blue Bentley convertible at some point during their 36 hour party, and now she's taking him to court to force him to make good on his promise. I'm no lawyer, but I don't think anything Charlie said with a crack pipe hanging out of his mouth constitutes a legally binding contract. Can't blame a ho for trying!

Anyway, here are some pics of Chuck's latest conquests, in case you felt like pretending to be Charlie Sheen this weekend. If you really wanna get into character, it might help to keep a massive pile of sugar next to your computer while you look at these.

Teen Mom 2 train wreck Jenelle Evans needs to schedule an appearance on the Maury Povich show. She's the trashtastic type that he's looking for, and she's not sure who her baby daddy is. According to a pal of Jenelle's who gave an interview with OK! magazine, Jenelle cheated on her beau Andrew with her best friend Tori Rhyne's boyfriend Stephen Fullwood!

“Tori still doesn’t know to this day that Jenelle hooked up with Stephen. Jenelle thinks Jace’s father might be Stephen, but she doesn’t want Tori to get mad at her.”

Jenelle's relationship with Andrew wasn't exactly a storybook romance; the relationship was filled with violence.

“He hit her. He tried to push her out of a window and broke her laptop — she even pressed charges.” 

Despite their tumultuous relationship, Jenelle and Andrew were allegedly trying to have a baby. Wow, this is straight out of a fairy tale!

“Andrew tried to get Jenelle pregnant for the longest time. He went off to rehab, and then he got out and she was pregnant. The whole time he was away Jenelle was at Stephen Fullwood’s house every day.”

Don't expect to find out who Jace's daddy is, because Jenelle doesn't want to take a DNA test to find out.

“She won’t talk about it. She wants to believe it’s Andrew. But Andrew doesn’t think he’s the dad, from what I hear. It would suck to find out Andrew wasn’t the dad and he’s been paying child support for a kid that’s not even his.”

Amber Portwood is sending a bouquet of roses Jenelle's way right now with a thank you card that reads "Thank you for being a more hideous 'Teen Mom' than I am. Keep up the good work!"

Christina Aguilera needs to read a guide on 'What Not To Do When You're Wasted' because she broke a cardinal rule... Don't pass out in the bed of someone you don't know. According to Us magazine, the drunk ho couldn't handle her liquor and apparently thought it was a good idea to take a little drunk nap in Jeremy Renner's bed when she attended his 40th birthday bash on January 8.

"Someone comes and tells me she's in my room. I run up and open the door and I'm like, 'Um, hi. What are you doing?' She just starts slurring. Her boyfriend [Matthew Rutler] was rubbing her back. Who comes to someone's birthday party that they don't know and gets in their bed?! My parents were there!"

What an idiot! Another source added "Christina was a mess at that party. She acted like a fool. Her boyfriend was shushing her and telling her to go to sleep."

Oh great. She's one of those chicks who gets trashed and becomes completely annoying. It's obvious she's dating a dude who doesn't know how to keep her from making an @ss out of herself. First the cat fight with Julianne Hough and now this? Christina's turning into a dirrrty girl. Step aside Britney, we've got a new hot mess in town. 

Some singer chick named Sabrina, who is trying to use Lady Gaga to garner attention for herself, has released a song titled 'I Wanna Shoot Lady Gaga' and it sucks. The song is over-produced and you can hardly understand any of the lyrics. 

Sabrina says she wrote the song because she wants to kill off the gimmicky character of Lady Gaga.

"It's not meant to be sadistic or evil, I mean, just check out the song's artwork. We used a squirt gun - nothing violent, just metaphorical. I want to kill everything she represents and stands for."

"Lady Gaga represents everything that is wrong with the core of our society. She's not a lady, she's a tramp. People see her as such a hero, especially the gay community; they celebrate her. She stands up there in her flesh suit and cries big old elephant tears and thanks her dear fans for being so brave, but what they don't realize is that everything she does is calculated. I feel like she uses them.

How's this for progressive, folks? The Situation claims that he'd love to find "Mrs. Situation" and he even opens up on what he's looking for in a wifey.

Taylor Momsen, 17, is such a bad@ss that she got her raccoon self suspended from Gossip Girl. The rebellious Goth slut has been placed on an "indefinite hiatus" from the CW's hit show.

Although Taylor has been a part of the cast since its 2007 debut, she has only appeared in three episodes so far this season.

Then and Now: Taylor in 2007 on the left, Taylor today, on the right

A source revealed, "She only does [the show] for the money. She works hard on Gossip Girl but doesn't care about the plot or the other cast members. She treats it like a 9-5. No emotional investment."

Tim Gunn had an appearance on a recent Gossip Girl episode and he put Taylor on blast, saying: "What a diva! She was pathetic, she couldn't remember her lines, and she didn't even have that many. I thought to myself 'why are we all being held hostage by this brat?'" But there's more.