Dumbasses (Page 6)

Toya Carter, Lil Wayne's first baby mama, recently got married to Mickey "Memphitz" Wright. Mickey was trying to board a plane at Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport when TSA agents noticed that he was strapped with a gun.

TMZ reports that Mickey says that he has a license to carry the weapon, he had simply forgotten that he had a gun in his bag. Because it's still illegal to take a gun onto a plane, he was arrested and taken to a nearby jail. He is currently still in custody.

I say we leave him there. He shouldn't be released until he has a vasectomy.

If only Lindsay Lohan had a job and wasn't in alleged serious financial trouble, maybe she would stop suing people. Last year Lindsay sued E*TRADE for "$100 million" over a Super Bowl commercial, and this year she's suing over an accurate rap lyric that isn't even derogatory. If celebs went by Lindsay's standards, every rapper would be sued by every celeb for pretty much every one of their songs and all gossip bloggers would be out of a job.

Lindz is suing rapper Pitbull for a line in his addictive track "Give Me Everything." Lohan doesn't like the line: Hustlers move aside, so I'm tiptoein', to keep flowin'/ I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan.

Lohan claims that "the lyrics, by virtue of its wide appeal, condemnation, excoriation, disparaging or defamatory statements by the defendants about the plaintiff are destined to do irreparable harm to the plaintiff."

I am officially done with Linds. This song has been out since March of this year and now this drunken b!tch wants to waltz in and hijack the royalties?!

The delusional crackhead is claiming that she is "a professional actor of good repute and standing in the Screen Actors Guild." Lindsay alleges the appearance of her name in the song "causes [Lindsay] to be associated and identified in connection with defendants."

LiLo's lawyer wants to block the defendants from broadcasting the song. Lohan's lawyer Stephanie also filed the E*TRADE lawsuit, which Lindsay settled for a confidential chunk of money. I hope Lindsay knows that no one will mention her a*s anymore in any thing and she'll lose all opportunities to work the system and milk people who make more money than she does.

Photo: Pacific Coast News

Anne Hathaway appeared on Conan O'Brien's show last night and she told the host that she wrote a rap song about the paparazzi. Anne said that she would perform it "Lil Wayne" style, and she did just that. Anne got really into her sh!tty song and then she pretty much got embarrassed and blushed afterwards, as she should. Annie, there's no need for you to embarrass yourself. You're pretty much an A-list actress that is so well respected, you were asked to co-host the Oscars. Just because you can, or think you can, do something doesn't mean that you should do it on national television.

Anne Hathaway Rapping on Conan O'Brien

Now that's a bad situation! The moment this sexist jerk gains a few pounds, his entire career will self-destruct. It couldn't happen soon enough. Mike Sorrentino is still flashing his deflated abs. It's his claim to fame, but he's been doing this for a few years now. We've got the message, he works out and we're supposed to be impressed.

This selfish jerk likes to flash girls his abs in clubs and then have 'em go down on him in the smush room. Has he ever returned the favor a single time in his life?

As much as The Situation irks me, he is a crucial part of Jersey Shore. Mikey starts drama week after week and he upsets everyone that he isn't having sex with, sometimes specifically because they aren't having sex with him. I just think it's time for Michael to layer his look and pull one shirt up over his entire face while having a second T-shirt covering up his deflated abs. I've dated men with better bodies than Mike when I was in high school.

Photos: Wenn

Tara Reid, 35, got engaged and married to her new boyfriend Zack Keyahoy over the weekend. No, that wasn't a typo. Zack proposed to Tara and they got married within hours. Men across the world have suddenly lost their ability to spring a boner.

Getting hitched so quickly, right after you put a ring on it to shut your woman up, is a nightmare come true. Isn't that exactly what some guys fear, rapidly losing their bachelorhood like yesterday because their chick was determined to get wifed up before growing another grey hair?

Tara tweeted that she loves being a wife! The b!tch is in Greece right now. I'd love being a wife to just about anyone if I were there too. Good luck on making it work kids!

Lindsay Lohan is proving she really couldn't care less about fulfilling her community service work and would rather being partying like a rock star. Lindsay was spotted at Lollapalooza over the weekend and even took in a Coldplay concert the week before, although they wouldn't allow her backstage. Next up for Linds, she wants to head off to Europe with Nicky and Paris Hilton.

A source close to the situation says Lindsay's handlers are "telling her it's just not a good idea for her to go," but she doesn't have any travel restrictions so she can go wherever the hell she wants.

Lindsay's publicist Steve Honig says Lindsay takes her community service commitment very serious and she's "working towards completing it in it's entirety."

Lindsay was sentenced to 380 hours of community service at the women's shelter but has only completed 40, and was also ordered to do 100 hours at the Los Angeles County Coroner's office, which she hasn't done either.

I think she has until April to finish her community service... That means she only needs to complete 12 hours a frickin' week! Is it really that hard to do? I mean, I know there aren't enough hours in the day for her to stare at herself in the mirror and convince herself how perfect and beautiful she is, but the ho needs to get this shiz taken care of. The quicker she does it, the more time she has to party!

Photo: WENN

Makes sense?! King Kanye West was on stage at the Big Chill music festival on Saturday night when he let the world know that he's basically hated like Hitler 'but way more fresher.'

Kanye said that he walks through a hotel and down the street and people look at him like he's "f*cking insane... like I'm Hitler." Waaaahhhhh! People look at you crazy because you are crazy.

Ye continued by saying that we'll understand him one day and that he "has to make a f*cking difference" in music right now. Well this is a bad start. He's too hard on himself and far too sensitive. A drug habit could really help him sort this sh!t out.

Kanye West Hitler concert

Avril Lagivne was sitting on a piano singing a cover of Coldplay's song "Fix You" on Tuesday night when a male fan rushed her on stage. Avril let out a loud shriek before security was able to grab the fan and haul him off.

She kept her composure, as you'll see in the video, and handled it all like a pro. Pretty much every musician doesn't react like Kings of Leon when something goes wrong on stage. Several musicians have had to deal with major drama during concerts, but they continue with the show.

A quick bum rush wouldn't justify taking a break, but Avril seems completely unfazed, which is good.

Jump in for the video.

Scott Disick, 28, would be nowhere without baby mama Kourtney Kardashian. She's kept him around on and off for years, but he subtly tries to make a name for himself on his own. Scott completed Us magazine's "25 Things You Didn't Know About Me" list, which tends to be a harmless little fluff piece. We've picked out some of Scott's most interesting revelations. He seems pretty anal, no shocker there, but I love that he rather talk on the phone than text. That's sexy! Seriously.

• I don't use coasters for drinks because I don't respect surfaces.

• I don't tolerate lactose.

• Cars and watches are my hobbies.

• I have a really hard time sleeping every night.

• My parents call me at least 10 times a day.

• I'm as choosy about beverages as I am about clothing, and I prefer VnC Cocktails -- the Pacific Breeze reminds me of the Caribbean.

• I hate when people tell me they watch the show because their wives or girlfriends make them.

• I tie the best double Windsor tie knot.

• I don't wear underwear with suits.

• After a trip, I don't unpack my luggage until the next trip.

• When I'm alone, I drive with no music on because it gives me time to think.

• I'd rather talk on the phone than text.

For Scott's complete list of 25 facts, visit Us Weekly

Photo: Fame

I can't believe this rumor is surfacing again. Years ago it was reported that Enrique Iglesias had a small dick; now the sexy singer is fueling those rumors by holding a drunken interview with The Sun. The tabloid even has the entire interview on video!

Enrique was asked about when he lost his virginity and he said "I waited until I was 25." Who would have guessed that?! Well, no one, cause Enrique later clarified that he was actually 17 years old.

“I was nervous as s*** the first time. Let me be honest. I was 17-and-a-half, I was so nervous. It lasted ten seconds.”

Enrique said that he doesn't even last "eight minutes" now. He then continued to murder the lady boners of women all across the world, saying, "Maybe I have the Spanish looks but I have the smallest penis in the world. I’m serious.“

I'm so conflicted about this damn rumor! Men who've said they're well hung have been tiny, and men who've had peens that need their own zip code didn't say a word about what they were packing. You can't really believe what a man says about his cock. I think Enrique's a riot and he's probably a hilarious jokester in real life. I have yet to meet a man with a small penis who actually confesses to it. Regardless, when you look that good, it really doesn't matter what you're packing!

Photo: Wenn