Archive for the 'Dumbasses' Category

Miley Cyrus’ Uncontrollable Laughing on the Ellen Show

November 20th, 2008

Disney’s infamous “virgin until marriage” star Miley Cyrus is definitely having sex and I hope she’s using protection. That is all.

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Look at All the ‘Damage’ Kanye West Did

November 14th, 2008

Photo of Look at All the Damage Kanye West Did

How the hell can cops arrest anyone for inflicting substantially life threatening injuries such as this? I mean, wtf? Remember Da Brat’s serving 3 years for hitting a bitch over the head with a bottle of rum.

I’m no crime specialist legal person court system ho, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Kanye would be in more trouble if he spat in dude’s face. Laws can be so strange. I just know if Kanye did damage to the dude or “threatened” him by like talking shit, Ye would be in deep poo poo. So weird. Basically, as I’ve said before, have hired help to do your dirt while you stand back and laugh your ass off. And you didn’t hear that from me, you read it from someone named Firecracker.


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Pumkin is NOT Engaged, Vh1 Exposes the Attention Whore

November 14th, 2008

Photo of Pumkin is NOT Engaged, Vh1 Exposes the Attention Whore

Vh1 reports that Pumkin’s a faker. Bitch needs to stop milking this reality TV crap and get a job at McDonald’s.

A well-placed, highly reliable source tells us that the engagement is fake. “Publicity stunt” is how our source described last month’s official announcement. He/she added that Pumkin is wearing a ring, but it’s “a promise ring…if you even want to call it that.”

Pumkin has not returned our calls for an interview, and meanwhile we’re left wondering if this thing will be over before it can even start.

Okay, but is she dating that security guard douche? I really wanna know who would ride that crazy train long term.


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Jennifer Aniston Finally Talks Love, And We’re Listening

November 12th, 2008

Photo of Jennifer Aniston Finally Talks Love, And Were Listening

Photo of Jennifer Aniston Finally Talks Love, And Were Listening

Photo of Jennifer Aniston Finally Talks Love, And Were Listening

Years after her split with Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston is finally telling all. Go Jen! :)
Vince Vaughn Helped Her Bounce Back After the Pitt Breakup:

“I call Vince my defibrillator. He literally brought me back to life…He was lovely and fun and perfect for the time we had together.”

Before Dating John Mayer, She “Barely Knew” His Music:

“I deeply, deeply care about him. We talk, we adore one another.”

She’s Still Reconciling With Her Once Estranged Mom:

“She’s changed,” Aniston says about her mother. “She’s humbled with age. She fell in love. At 73 years old. I’m like, No, no, no, no! I don’t want to hear how great the sex is.”

The Celeb Tabloids Have Her Love Life All Wrong:

“This whole ‘Poor lonely Jen’ thing, this idea that I’m so unlucky in love?,” she says. “I actually feel I’ve been unbelievably lucky in love…I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

Kids Are in Her Future:

“I’m going to have children,” she declares. “I just know it.”

Carrie Bradshaw, Beware!

“I never liked Sex and the City, the kind of thing where women only feel empowered once they find the Man,” Aniston says. “It is just not up my alley. I don’t believe in it.”

“I never liked Sex and the City, the kind of thing where women only feel empowered once they find the Man,” Aniston says. “It is just not up my alley. I don’t believe in it.” - Um, I couldn’t disagree more. There are many men and women who enjoy being in a relationship and aren’t really cut out for the single life and Sex and the City represents that.

All of the characters are not co-dependent. Samantha is an empowering, independent woman. She hates relationships, loves sex, and doesn’t conform to the housewife and mother role that society has taught women to take on.

Just because Jennifer Aniston’s love life is embarrassing and she loves a man whore doesn’t mean she has to diss a revolutionary show that has made women feel good about themselves. Sex and the City also has older characters, something many television shows and movies - like “Friends” refused to do, featuring young women instead of aging, sexy broads.

Jen is trying to be like, ‘I’m independent,’ but if she was so independent she wouldn’t jump from one man to the next i.e. Vince Vaughn, Paul Schulfur, Gerard Butler and John Mayer. She has no room to talk.


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No Toilet? No Problem.

November 11th, 2008

Photo of No Toilet? No Problem.

Being piss drunk doesn’t mean you should take a piss on other people, no matter how badly you need to go. Somehow New Jersey Councilman Steven Lipski didn’t get that memo.

Steven was at a Washington, DC concert over the weekend with his college friends when he suddenly got the urge to urinate. Too lazy to get up and walk to a restroom, Steven decided to whip out his wang and piss over the balcony. Lipski sprayed his juices all over the crowd below. Staffers caught him mid-piss and the po po hauled him outta there. He’s being charged with simple assault for the incident and is also suffering public humiliation.

The dork is on damage control, claiming that he’ll abstain from drinking.

“I’ve resolved not to touch alcohol again,” Lipski told reporters outside his home.

Sure.

Sad thing is, no moist concert attendees went up to the balcony to set him straight. I can’t imagine getting piss in your hair, on your clothes, probably in your food, eyes. GROSS!

Steven said he’s not resigning, but can he be impeached for this?

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* HOT LINKS *

Don’t hate me for linking to a porn fetish called cake farting. I couldn’t stop laughing or shaking my head at this - OMG

Amy Wino chops off her beehive, feeds paparazzi - CK

Madonna is crazier than you thought. Must read! - CNW

Fergie packed on the pounds - BS

Are Ashton and Demi fighting or is this just a bad picture? - AB

“Personally I just say don’t do cocaine and you won’t have to worry about it.” - RR

Miley Cyrus says dumb shit - GB

The Hills recap - IBBB

Hillary Clinton and other celbs at Glamour’s Women of the Year event - BB

Katy Perry’s on her way to a nip slip - WIMB

Lindsay Lohan’s personal Samantha Ronson photo - CW


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