Paris Jackson's interview with Ellen DeGeneres airs today and it's shocking in the exact opposite way that you would expect. Not only is Paris incredibly poised and well-spoken for a 13 year-old but she seems enetirely unaffected by her...let's say "unusual"...upbringing.

Paris Jackson on 'Ellen'

Paris maintains that she had a "normal" childhood and was happy to find that no one knew who she was at her new school. As for the weirder elements of her childhood, like being forced to wear a mask in public to preserve her anonymity? Paris just laughs it off. "Why do I have to wear a mask? That's stupid," the budding actress jokes.

If only all famous girls named Paris could be so down to earth. Bear in mind Paris filled a spot on the Ellen show that was vacated by Lindsay Lohan who appeared in court yesterday and blamed her parents for the fact that she's effing her life up. Just goes to show: life's what you make it, kids.

Melissa McCarthy appeared on The Ellen Degeneres Show where she shared a story about her horrific wardrobe malfunction. Melissa, who is actually Jenny McCarthy's cousin, knows how to tell a good story. We don't want to give it away, but seriously, WTF?! If only people had the balls to tell someone when they're walking around looking crazy, the world would be a less embarrassing place.

Melissa McCarthy on Ellen DeGeneres

Katy Perry appears on today's episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show where she had to talk about having children with husband Russell Brand. It's illegal for married people, whether famous or not, to be together without folks asking them when they're going to reproduce. So annoying.

Katy said: "I would love to have children. I think that's one of the reasons you get married."

Russell's Mrs. continued: "Especially to the person that you marry. You think, that person is going to be a good partner, a good parent. But, I'm not sure it's time yet. We'll see, ya know?"

Perry said that "if it doesn't hurt the first time, I'll keep popping them out!"

With drugs, the contractions hurt, not the delivery itself. Moving on, Katy has rented out the Staples Center to put on a free concert where she's "giving thanks to all of [her] fans." The free show will be on Nov. 23. I take it that folks can get tickets on her website or something. Still, the amount of pushing and shoving that's gonna go down at the Staples Center hurts my t!ts to even think about it.

Talk show host and comedienne Ellen DeGeneres explained to her audience what had happened earlier today. TMZ reported that Ellen was taken to the hospital for chest pains. The crazy thing about the story was that the website ended its post with "Story developing" like it could be some serious sh!t. Turns out, DeGeneres is doing just fine and she thanked her fans for their support. Naturally Ellen couldn't tell the story without being sarcastic as hell, so jump in to check it out!

Wanda Sykes appears on Monday's episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show where she makes a shocking revelation. The 47-year-old comedienne said that she had breast cancer. Wanda likes to keep things in, no one knew that she was a lesbian until she revealed her sexuality at a marriage equality event, and no one knew that she had breast cancer.

Wanda on Ellen last year

But the cancer wasn't the only shocker; the shocker is that Wanda had a DOUBLE masectomy. She had a breast reduction in February, saying: "I had real big boobs and I just got tired of knocking over stuff. Every time I eat -- oh lord. I'd carry a Tide stick everywhere I go."

It was when she had the breast reduction that cancer was found. Sykes was in "stage-zero cancer." Wanda says "I was very lucky... cancer is cancer."

Wanda didn't want to go in for an MRI and mammogram everymonth, so she had both of her breasts removed. "Now I have zero chance of having breast cancer," she says.

Wanda added: "I was like, I don't know, should I talk about it or what? How many things could I have? I'm black, then Lesbian. I can't be the poster child for everything."

Back in September when she was pretending that she wasn't banging Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez was interviewed by Ellen DeGeneres, and she made some comments about the Biebs that, well...aren't the kind of thing you wanna hear your girlfriend say about you on national TV.

"He's little!" Selena squealed when asked about Justin. "He's like my little brother." Ouch. Fortunately, Selena went on Ellen's show again yesterday, but instead of taking the opportunity to clear the air about the Biebs', um...size, she continued to dodge questions about their relationship. 

"He's like your little brother?" Ellen asked. "What do you have to say now? You were still trying to hide it, right? But now you've made it public." Selena may have a future in politics because she dodged Ellen's direct questions like a pro. She refused to confirm that she's bedding Biebs, saying only, "He's sweet."

I don't know, if Selena was my girlfriend, I think I'd want more than, "He's sweet," after she told the whole world how "little" I am. These two just need to drop the act and go public already.

Kate Middleton and Ellen DeGeneres are related. Seriously. Ellen was contacted by the New England Genealogical society and informed that she and Prince William's fiance are 15th cousins. Both women are related via their ancestor named Sir Thomas Fairfax.

On yesterday's episode of Ellen, the host said: "I'm definitely invited to the wedding now! Let me know if you need me to plan the bachelorette party, because I found some straws that are shaped like. . . well never mind."

I'm hoping that Ellen can get her cousin to appear on her show sometime! We wanna get to know Kate here in the States because it's not like we won't be hearing about her frequently until the end of all time. We might as well figure out how much we should dislike her.

The Jersey Shore cast appears on today's episode of the Ellen DeGeneres show, and during their interview, Snooki said that she wants to start going for different guys.

Always boasting about wanting a "meathead gorilla juicehead," the tiny and busty breakout star says that she's no longer into the beefy guidos. Who wouldn't switch it up after their boyfriend of two weeks proposes to them on the cover of a magazine, while the other juicehead gorilla ex-boyfriend calls you a whore?

Snooki also said that she and her cast mates don't party all the time. "I think no one knows how we really are. We have, like, different sides. Obviously you see us on the show we party, we do this, and we do that. But outside of the show, we're very quiet. I'll go to frickin' Barnes & Nobles, get a coffee and just sit down and read. No one would ever think that. We have different sides to us and people don't see that."

The only reading Snooki is doing comes from UsWeekly magazine or the nutrition facts on the back of a bag of potato chips.

Fans might also be surprised that Snooki no longer wants to date a "juicehead." Says the pint-sized reality starlet, "I think I want to move forward. I want to move Brooklyn and find a business Italian guy to take care of me."

Let's see if Snooki sticks to her word. Also, you can find a business man with muscles. They do exist, Snickers!

Late yesterday Ellen DeGeneres announced via her Twitter that she had voted herself off of American Idol.

Ellen's official statement says:

“A couple months ago, I let FOX and the American Idol producers know that this didn’t feel like the right fit for me. I told them I wouldn’t leave them in a bind and that I would hold off on doing anything until they were able to figure out where they wanted to take the panel next. It was a difficult decision to make, but my work schedule became more than I bargained for.

"I also realized this season that while I love discovering, supporting and nurturing young talent, it was hard for me to judge people and sometimes hurt their feelings. I loved the experience working on Idol and I am very grateful for the year I had, I am a huge fan of the show and will continue to be.”

Ellen, boo, the day your ass announced that you would be coming to American Idol on your show, I said that you would last ONE SEASON. Just because you're a big fan of a show does not mean that you should take over as one of its main characters. How could such an intelligent person think that she's the right fit for everything just because she's funny?!? Ego is ugly. There is so much more involved in American Idol than telling jokes: The schedule is grueling and, yes, you have "to judge people" when your @ss is a judge!

Anyway, this morning we've learned that Snoopy of Charlie Brown's twin sister Kara DioGuardi has been fired, and the new judging panel will be Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler. American Idol is desperate and Jennifer and Steven are also desperate. I give the show two more seasons tops.

It's well known the Rihanna isn't exactly Jennifer Hudson when it comes to her vocal abilities, but the curvy and petite singer from Barbados gave a great performance on the Ellen DeGeneres show today.

Rihanna, looking sexy and cute, shook her hips and sang her new single, "Rude Boy," like a pro. I think Rihanna sounded and performed so well cause she's really feeling this song. Make no mistake, this is one horny a*s betch! She could totally be a stripper on the side. Rihanna's got it. Check it.