When one Basketball Wife leaves, two more come in her stead. Kesha’s off the island, but now Jennifer Williams and crazy Kenya Bell are in Tahiti. Substituting crazy for more crazy!

Tami, Shaunie, and Evelyn go on a sunset cruise, where Tami says she’s going to try to talk to Kesha because she thinks they can have a mature conversation. Maybe a straitjacket would help too? Shaunie thinks that Kesha didn’t want to escalate the situation, though Evelyn doesn’t blame Tami for taking it the wrong way. But that stuff is about to be old news because they spot Jennifer on the patio of her bungalow. Awwwwkward. They sail on by, and it’s like running into an old lover for Evelyn. It brings up old memories, and so she wants to lay everything out on the table. Tami is licking her chops at the prospect of confrontation.

Jen eats salad with Suzie, because she’s the only one she’s still really on good terms with besides Kenya. Jen has “a lot of emotions” about being in Tahiti since it reminds her of her honeymoon in the Maldives. The two of them talk about how they are “grown women” and should be able to talk about their differences without any crazy, but they have this conversation as much as they have conflict. And look where we are now. But still, Jen doesn’t want to see Evelyn or talk to her at all because she doesn’t tolerate abuse--which is why she’s still going through with the stupid lawsuit against Nia, Evelyn’s assistant.

Suzie reports all this to The Clique (AKA Tami, Evelyn, and Shaunie), who all seem a bit irritated by the whole thing. Then they go on jet skis because this is actually, like, vacation. When the four of them go to get breakfast, they discuss how they haven’t run into Jen or Kenya at all. Shaunie thinks it’s just plain rude not to tell them they’re there. True dat. But they’re also curious about how Kenya’s dealing with the nasty fish sh!t they spread all over her room. Tami’s had enough, so she goes with Shaunie to try to get Kenya out of her hut. They smell the fish, but apparently Kenya doesn’t? That’s some witchcraft, right there.

The reunion for the fourth season of Basketball Wives was taped over the weekend. The "ladies" looked like they were getting along, but as you can see, the cliques remained tight and Royce Reed didn't do any posing with her arch nemesis Evelyn Lozada.

Evelyn looks so different with bangs!!

Jennifer Williams also posed with newcomer Kenya because Jen and Evelyn are no longer BFFs. Nothing new there, but noticeably absent was Tami Roman.

If you're a part of a reality show, you're contractually obligated to go to the reunion taping. This isn't the first time a reality star skipped out on a reunion show, but this move supports rumors that Tami may be out for the next season of the controversial show. Meanwhile Jennifer is trying to hold onto her contract now that the show's producers intend to sue her.

Photos: Instagram

Ugh, Basketball Wives just have so many ISSUES. It’s not even funny, except when it is. Royce wants her dad to say that he’s proud of her, that she’s good enough. And sometimes she just wants a hug from him. Maybe I’d have more sympathy if she didn’t cry in such a way that makes me want to kill puppies. And I love puppies.

Tami also has problems, but she’s working on them with her anger management sessions. She wants to brag to her doctor about how she’s made “personal leaps and bounds,” which obviously means that she’s going to not make personal leaps and bounds later in the episode. She brags about how she’s been stopping and thinking, playing the peacemaker. But when the subject turns to Kesha, she admits that she didn’t address the issue the way she should have, though it’s an improvement. The “old Tami” would have hit her, the new Tami makes a conscious effort not to smack people in the face.

Royce is still trying to get her dad Robert and her boyfriend Dezmon on the same page because she is “Daddy’s girl” and “Dezmon’s woman.” At lunch, it all turns to sh!t because Royce’s dad calls her needy, and Dezmon has a blank look on his face because this situation is awkward. Period.

Then Dezmon admits that, honestly, it’s a little true, and Royce leaves the table. Dezmon goes after her, and finds her crying to her mother on the phone. She denies that she’s needy because she gives away her heart, and is also pissed that he brought this issue up in front of her pops. He says it’s not a negative thing, just sometimes he feels overwhelmed. Dezmon continues to be awkward, Robert eats his food with a huff and a head shake while still in the restaurant. Eventually, Dezmon hugs her. Took long enough.

For real, I need wine to get me through an episode. This is bad. I'm willingly contributing to my alcoholism while simultaneously honoring the show. #moraldilemma

Since the Wives are in Miami and this is exactly what people do, Nia, Evelyn, and Tami meet up in their tight dresses and b!tch about Jennifer. They think she’s exacerbating the situation by getting the law involved and by giving interviews about their feud. “She’s dead to me. Completely,” Nia says. Then, Tami and her plunging neckline ask about the upcoming Tahiti vacation. Evelyn doesn’t want to be around Jen during the trip, even though she’s already been invited. Tami recommends that Evelyn just ignore her, which basically means Tami has a form of amnesia that makes her forget the first three seasons. She also promises not to let Evelyn get arrested, which is a deal all good friends should make.

Suzie and Royce meet at the park, where Royce is memorizing her lines and talks about how she’s not sad about missing out on a girl’s trip because she wants to focus on her career. It’s back to the boring because Chad is home from football season and they get to be domestic in Miami by fighting over decorations. Evelyn reveals that she’s also focusing on her career and so she doesn’t want to get knocked up right now. Then Chad tells her he wrote her a poem, which basically compared her to the last slice of pizza that nobody wants. Yup.

In case we forget that Tami has kids, she brings in her daughters Lyric and Jazz because she wants them to be overall good artists. Tami thinks they have no rhythm, and Royce is going to help them out. Insert montage of daughters dancing, just like in a movie! Except without underdogs, only stage mothers.

Back at the house, Evelyn and Chad discuss their wedding, as he convinces her to brave the rain as she puts a towel over her head like Mother Teresa. She feels overwhelmed by all that needs to be done, and then they have a weird mini-fight about how he’s not marrying her for her hair. It’s true. These peeps are weird.

With the breathtaking end to last week’s episode--a boldface slap in the face of Jennifer and cougar jump on the part of Evelyn--anything else would just seem subtle in comparison. Thankfully, the producers didn’t try to conjure up some petty fake drama in this episode. We’re mostly still grappling with this one.

In the final moments of episode nine, we only saw Jen go mid-jump over the table, but in this episode we see her land not-so-gracefully into the arms of the expectant security dude. Shaunie looks bewildered, Kesha looks constipated, and Tami looks lost for words as Jen calmly sits down and picks up her wine glass, all while Evelyn’s screaming about how she can’t call Evelyn’s assistant (and Jen’s former friend) Nia a bum b!tch.

Jen decides to leave, with Kesha in tow. Evelyn’s still pissed that Jen’s so stuck-up, looking down upon people and judging them because they have no money. Through tears, Evelyn cries that it’s all “f**ked up.” Tami’s also a big disturbed by Jen’s comments, though she’s also just exhausted by the entire situation. In the end, we all know that there’s some unfinished business between Camp Jen and Camp Evelyn. “B!tch needs to give me my f**king keys,” Nia spews. “Bottom line.”

Suzie waddles out behind the Jen/Kesha contingent, and both seem sympathetic towards Jen, who seems to believe that Evelyn’s just upset that she has new friends. Or maybe they’re just shellshocked. I firmly believe that Suzie, Kesha, Shaunie, and Tami could all form a PTSD support group at this point, sheesh. When Jen talks about the event with Kenya, the two just bond even more. Jen explains that you can’t hit her in the face because she’s a spokesmodel. And if you hit a model in the face it, like, ruins their brand. “I don’t fight with my hands...I do what the white people do, that’s what I do,” Jen jokes(?). Kenya commiserates with Jen. They clink wine glasses and laugh manically and okay maybe I made that last one up but still.

On the other side of town, Tami takes a walk with Evelyn to debrief the event, which Evelyn describes as the “weirdest fight ever.” It just makes her upset to think that just because Jen went to private school and grew up in New Jersey, she thinks she’s better than everyone else.

So how’s this for a refreshing interlude? It’s a Kenya-free episode AND we’ve got some violence. Is it wrong that this makes me happy? But we start off slow. In the beginning Basketball Wives continues the emotional, touchy-feely scene of last week’s episode. Tami and her mom Nadine bond over their problems with loving and expressing their emotions. This results in a dramatic hug and one big mutual cry. Too bad I just have this 5 liter box of Franzia to hold. (But I think it loves me just as much.)

Next, we meet Royce’s football player boyfriend Desmond, and we find out that he’s got Royce’s dad’s approval now. This makes things easier, though the road ahead of them is not simple--they’re both accelerating their careers. She’s still optimistic, though, and thinks that things are “the real deal.”

When Shaunie comes back into town, Tami updates her on Kenya’s video. They rip into her because of her dancing, alien makeup, and because Tami believes Kenya should have stood up for herself a little bit when everyone was slamming her down. Then Shaunie mentions the racetrack event that’s coming up and everyone’s going to. “We can’t go to the racetrack and act a fool,” she says. “We did last time,” Tami retorts. #truth

In the setup for the big confrontation at the end of the episode (oops! spoiler alert!), Evelyn talks with her friend and assistant Nia about how Jen has completely blocked Nia out of her life. Nia is confused and hurt because they were tight before, but now Jen’s left her behind completely. But Jen has better things to do, like facilitate the infomercial portion of this episode. Her friend Terence J offered to screen his film Think Like a Man for her friends, and she invites the girls. The tagline of the movie is pretty thematic: “Let the games begin.” As they will.

With all the drama of last week’s episode, we’re in that transition phase of Basketball Wives. It’s cool. I know VH1 is laying the groundwork for actual stuff, so I’m not gonna throw a b!tch fit--just as long as a drink gets thrown next week, okay? This episode starts off with a return to the wine bar, as we re-see Evelyn pitching a wine bottle and plate straight over Shaunie’s head to try to whack-a-Kenya. As per usual, Shaunie puts her head in her hands and Evelyn, in all her fury, proclaims that Kenya needs to “watch out.” Duly noted.

Jen and Suzie work out at the gym because they’re, like, active and stuff. Since Suzie’s crack is trying to mend friendships, she wants to convince Jen to make up with Royce because their fight was so trivial and didn’t make a lot of sense. (Um, that’s like this entire show.) Jen’s still hurt over something Royce allegedly said on Twitter about Jen’s leaked naked photos, and also about Royce’s interactions with her ex. Suzie thinks that if they talk through it, they’ll settle their issues. Because that always works.

Then we turn to the gossipy b!tches portion of this show, as Evelyn, Tami, and Shaunie meet up to discuss Kenya. I think they all agree that she’s got crazy eyes and that she’s a liar, plus she’s a little stupid for not being able to tell that Evelyn was gonna come after her. Shaunie suggests that the girls need to go away to somewhere tropical and “just chill.” Fat mo’ fo’ chance. She suggests Tahiti, and Jen will probably be invited. Evelyn says she’ll be civil, that she doesn’t want any drama (really?). But the next big event where all the girls will be together is at the racetrack, under Suzie’s invite. Tami’s not looking forward to them all being together in one place. “Even though I’d like for us to be able to behave,” she says, “it never happens.”

In the most believable excursion on this show, Jen and Kenya go wine shopping. She tells Jen about her new music video premiere, and they’re looking for wine to make it a suuupa-classy event. Jen thinks she should invite everyone to her first screening, and Kenya does--though she also decides that nobody can give a speech because speeches lead to drama. True dat.

I think I’ve found my new religion. My prayers to the gods of 100-proof
vodka, Evelyn Lozada’s temper, and Kenya Bell’s crazy have been answered
and I feel as if I am not alone in the world anymore. Spiritual awakening,
FTW.

This episode starts out as a continuation of the last one, with Suzie
walking Kesha out of the cabana, and then walking back onto the scene. Tami
and Evelyn both look sooo unamused at Kenya, who then admits that she
did say something about Evelyn being loose. Evelyn and Tami call
Kenya out on denying her words while Kesha was there, and Kenya (unsuccessfully) tries
to talk herself out of it. She’s making Meeka Claxton look somewhat logical
right now, and that’s saying something. Everyone’s just itching to topple
her. “Crazy people can only pretend to act normal for so long,” Suzie says.
And you better believe it.

Then, in the most random scene of the episode, Royce talks with people
about her hip hop fitness video. But soon enough we’re at Kesha’s house,
where Suzie and Kesha tell Jen about the incident in the cabana. As they
describe the events of that day, Jen insists that Kenya isn’t crazy when
she’s around her. Kesha lets it slip that Kenya sees Jen as her idol
[insert Psycho soundtrack here], and Jen is shocked that Kenya worships
her. But that’s just a sidenote because, more importantly, Kesha claims to
have a witness, her friend Sakara, who can attest to the fact that Kenya
called Evelyn “loose.” What is this, calling witnesses now? Shiz is serious.

The Basketball Wives are still in Miami and we are all still reeling in the aftermath of Evelyn’s physical jab at Jennifer on what was supposed to be the most boring nights of all nights, Shaunie’s birthday party. The sixth episode of this season begins with scenes from that night, though nothing more exciting happens. Tami just revels in the entertainment value of the night, while Shaunie knows that if she lets Evelyn go, she’ll hurt a b!tch.

Jen and Suzie debrief the night soon after, and Suzie thinks that Jen and Evelyn need to meet up and talk again because Jen still seems confused as to why Evelyn is mad at her. Jen continues her speech about being in a better place in her life and says that Evelyn obviously has a pattern of falling out with everybody. Then, Suzie meets up with Evelyn, but they don’t talk about that night. Instead, they talk about Kesha, who is apparently a fragile, emotional mess over what happened at dinner with Tami. If they need to talk about it, Evelyn says, she’s not going to set up the conversation.

Suzie and Royce go to Kesha’s place to make a homecooked meal together. New trio alert! They fill Royce in on the events of Shaunie’s birthday dinner. Royce is not surprised. What’s a little more surprising is that Kenya manages to f**k up a radio show in the Jennifer vein. Apparently, a host was ripping into the Wives and Kenya just laughed the whole time, which offended Tami.

Take a deep breath in. That smell? That’s the faint hint of familiarity--and it’s a fine, fine thing. In this episode, everybody goes back to their roots. Suzie and Royce visit Kesha’s home in North Carolina, the girls are back in Miami, and there’s a good ‘ol confrontation. Thank goodness! I was starting to get worried.

Evelyn and Tami catch Shaunie up on the Kesha-Tami blowout dinner of the last episode. Tami’s making it clear that she is not a fan of Kesha, but undecided about Kenya. There’s definitely something off about her--and Evelyn’s quite suspicious--but they’re holding off on major judgment until they can definitively spot the liar. Shaunie, who never has any news, announces she’s hosting a birthday dinner and Jen’s invited. Tami hopes this means there’s going to be entertainment and she speaks straight from my heart. We’re starved for good conflict!

So now that Suzie and Royce are in North Carolina, VH1 basically has to put on the twangy country music, and make Kesha pick them up in her grandfather’s most cliched beat-up pick-up truck. This is already taking on a nauseating city girl vs. country girl “understanding each other” narrative, and we get to take an emotional ride too. Kesha tells them about how she felt out of place growing up because there were only a few black people in town and they were kind of racist. Suzie offers a lot of great soundbites--and even relates to Kesha’s mom. “I’m not black, but I like chocolate too sometimes!”