In the aftermath of the Polo incident of the last episode, Suzie checks in with Meeka Claxton to discuss exactly what went down. Meeka grudgingly admits that she was wrong fighting Tami, but senses that Suzie wants to patch up their relationship. Quickly, she nixes the idea. "Leave it alone," she tells Suzie, like a mother trying to tell her child to ignore dog poop on the side of the road for the billionth time. But the child/Suzie gets left behind because the other *Wives*, sans Royce, go to New York! Shaunie wants them to be "a big, happy family again," and, coincidentally, the rest of the episode is about mending relationships and spending time with family Who knew NYC would only quell the b!tchiness?

Evelyn Lozada, Shaunie, and Jen are all in New York at the same time for different reasons, but they join together for the noble cause of expanding their
wardrobes. Everyone seems to like Tami again, and they even take her side in
the Tami-Meeka showdown. Shaunie proposes that Tami and Evelyn finally
settle their ‘non-motherf**king factor’ T-shirt beef. Evelyn agrees. But
this trip is not only about making peace with Tami. Evelyn needs to convince
her daughter Shaniece to go to school in NYC. They take a college tour,
though mother and daughter look completely disaffected and aloof as the poor
guide gives his enthusiastic spiel. Alas, the tour does no good. Shaniece is
determined to go to California.

While Evelyn’s trying to manipulate her daughter, Tami, Shaunie, and Jen
discuss Tami’s beef with Meeka and Evelyn. Tami wants to make sure that
Shaunie knows Meeka’s the one to blame for the Polo fiasco--you always want
mama bear on your side! She’s more affable when it comes to Evelyn. Tami
agrees on a compromise concerning the T-shirt issue; she’s willing to let
Evelyn sell the ones she’s already made as long as she doesn’t make any
more.

Tami’s also there for other business. It turns out she has children--who
knew? Her offspring, Lyric and Jazz, are trying to break into the music biz
and today they’re meeting up with their godmother/Tami’s cousin Shauna, Eric
Nicks (who manages songwriters), and August Rigo (who penned sons for The
Biebs). Even though the three of them are music industry experts, Tami
thinks she knows best. Essentially, she’s a stage mom who can go from zero
to *Toddlers and Tiaras* in thirty seconds. And so she does. Worst of all,
her daughters eventually let it slip that Eric is their manager. Tami
progresses from crazy-eyed to purse-lipped, feeling betrayed because she
thought that *she* was their manager. Uh oh.

Because Basketball Wives is truly a show where people enjoy rehashing the same sh!t over and over again, the first few scenes involve the Basketball Wives rehashing the same sh!t over and over again! We are treated to a recount of last episode’s Evelyn Lozada-Royce showdown, with both parties confirming what everyone else in the goddamn universe knows except for Suzie--Evelyn and Royce don’t care about each other, they don’t like each other, and they don’t care to like each other ever again.

In other news, Jennifer Williams' soon-to-be ex-hubby Eric has been Tweeting Suzie about some sort of business venture. Unlike Royce, Suzie spills the deets about the whole scenario to Jen, who believes Eric is just trying to play games. And when you think about it, Suzie is actually the perfect person to f**k with because she is legitimately ALWAYS confused.

Evelyn apparently has a daughter named Shaniece who is graduating high school. Obviously she keeps this girl in a closet or something because I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen her on-screen. Well, Evelyn must like to hide her jewels and keep ‘em close because she earnestly tries to convince her offspring to attend college in New York rather than California. But that’s really the extent of Evelyn drama this episode. It’s a nice break.

Miss Suzie expands her humanitarian efforts by looking out for Meeka Claxton, who is oddly less annoying. (I’ll credit this to VH1 editing, and not to any reduction of annoying-ness on Meeka’s part.) Suzie invites Meeka to the Polo Event, a supa-classy VIP affair, but warns her that both factions are going to be there. Meeka doesn’t know which group to chill with at first, until she realizes that Tami will probably decapitate her if she goes with Suzie, Tami, and Royce. Smartly, Meeka chooses to roll with Jen and Evelyn.

Since Suzie’s such a busy girl, she also meets up with Eric and his business partner to hear their proposal. Eric tells Suzie he wants her and Royce to star in a movie. “It’s not a porno, is it?” she asks. He reassures her that it’s not, but then says, “You’re gonna be nude, though.” Ew. I know the Basketball Wives ain’t the classiest broads in the building, but they’re better than some low-budget, softcore crap. Thankfully, Suzie isn’t mesmerized by the shiny bits of his sunglasses and says hell no! I’m so proud! When she tells Jen about their lunch, Jen just scoffs because she knows Eric’s doing it just to spite her.

My prayers have been answered. This episode of Basketball Wives is a welcome respite from the last one, featuring some lovely in-your-face action that was severely lacking. I mean, what’s this show without some drinks being thrown, right? But because continuing any storyline from episode to episode is apparently asking too much, the focus of this one shifts away from the Meeka Claxton dramz to the season-long tension between Royce and Evelyn Lozada. My only beef? There’s no Tami in this episode. It’s a damn shame, but I guess it’s the price you pay for an epic fight scene. Sigh.

Last episode’s major drama, while not the focal point, delicately looms over this episode with no apparent resolution. The episode begins with Suzie and Royce playing tennis together, spending most of their time rehashing the Meeka situation. Like always, Suzie is confused, and Royce blames Jennifer and Evelyn for feeding lies.

Meeka lunches with Suzie to ply her for advice on how to work through this tenuous situation. Of course, Meeka’s still pretending that she was dropped on the head or something and has no clue what’s going on. She says that she might have said something about Royce when she drunk, but she doesn’t remember. Damn fool, you can’t blame this on the alcohol! When you get drunk, you don’t just start making random stuff up, you say sh!t you actually mean!

Meeka’s said harsh shiz about Royce on-camera when she wasn’t effed up, so if she “honestly” doesn’t remember, that’s just ridiculous. Naturally, Suzie is now even more confuddled, but tells Meeka that she should go to Shaunie and ask her who told Tami these things.

Because alcohol never gets boring, Meeka takes Suzie’s advice and meets up with Shaunie for mojitos. This get-together is pretty much a dead end in Meeka’s quest to get to the bottom of the she said/she said debacle because Shaunie hasn’t seen or talked to Tami or Royce in a long time. But Mama Bear Shaunie does advise Meeka to be careful about what she says and who she says things too. Obviously, this will prove a very difficult task because Meeka never seems to shut her trap.

But Royce has other issues. Her dad’s worried that she’s moving too fast with her new boyfriend Brian, though Royce insists that this time it’s really, truly different. Her father hits the real issue on the head, however, when he tells her he thinks she just likes being with someone. “It’s not fun being alone,” Royce says, “I’m not afraid to be alone, I just don’t like it.” And then she cries.

Evelyn’s in a much better place, however, and she giddily heads off to the in vitro fertilization clinic with her fiance Chad Ochocinco so that they can jack him off among a cornucopia of porn in order to give their doctor a fresh sperm sample.

This is an episode of missed expectations. You expect Tami and Evelyn Lozada to duke it out again over Evelyn’s motherf**cking factor T-shirts; you expect a drink to be thrown or a face to be punched; you expect Tami’s hair to change shape at least once. Sadly, none of these things happen.

Everyone seems to drop the T-shirt issue (the closest you get to a resolution is Jennifer Williams admitting to Tami that Evelyn probably shouldn’t be going forward with the T-shirts). Nobody throws anything at anybody else. Tami’s hair looks bouncy and lovely the entire episode. Blah. But it does set up the tension that will no doubt lead to another full-blown war, so we must all sit and wait and anticipate the next big explosion.

After being kicked out of the group in Season 2, Suzie tells Royce that she plans to make nice with Shaunie, Evelyn, and Jennifer (who I have taken to calling The Trio because they are epic and powerful and there are three of them!), but Royce is skeptical of her plans. “Dealing with this whole group of females, you can’t be cool with everybody. It’s not going to work,” Royce says. But Suzie still clings to the elementary school hope that everyone will just get along. It’s a nice thought, but pretty unrealistic--and uninteresting--with this group of divas.

Evelyn and Meeka Claxton meet one-on-one for drinks and you get the strong vibe that Meeka wants to go all Single White Female on Evelyn. Because this show is just one shiny, glorified version of high school, Meeka proclaims that she does not want to align herself with any “cliques” until she can suss out who the cool kids are. She already seems to be putting her eggs in one basket, however, by calling Royce a phony and claiming that her actions and words are not matching up.

She thinks she has more in common with Shaunie, Jennifer, and Evelyn, but they’ll probably never like her as much as they like each other.  As Evelyn notes, “Meeka...she’s just very chatty. It’s kind of like, you’re talking to her and you’re like, ‘Sh!t! Shut the f*ck up!’ [eye-roll]” YES! YES! It’s not just me! I have to give Evelyn props for not Van Gogh-ing it and slicing her ears off during their conversation.

Shaunie O’Neal opens up the third season of Basketball Wives by pinpointing the central joy and horror of watching the show: not knowing what the f*ck is going on. When we last left the cast, Suzie, Tami, and Royce were basically exiled from the main group, Tami and Evelyn Lozada traded blow-to-blows because Evelyn once dated Tami’s ex-husband, and Jennifer decided to end her marriage...but now no one really knows who’s mad at who anymore. “I still am a little confused [about all the conflict],” Shaunie admits, “--actually, a lot confused.” Oh sweetie, that makes all of us!

The episode starts on a high note. Jennifer Williams, fresh off of leaving her ex-b-ball player husband Eric Williams, moves into a new place and Evelyn and Shaunie pay her a visit. They plan divorce parties with castrated husband cake toppers and discuss the viability of Jennifer’s baby-making parts, but soon start talking about things we actually care about, like whether or not Evelyn feels like going creature of the night on Royce or Tami (or both!). At this point in the episode, Evelyn seems like she’s trying to be mature and thinks the fight with Tami will blow over, but really doesn’t give a flying f*ck about Royce anymore. Good to know.

And--speak of the devil!--we next see newly-single Royce, who doesn’t want to deal with Evelyn either, catching up with non-‘fake-friend’ Tami over lunch. Tami is pissed because Evelyn’s trying to cash in on their Season 2 brawl with “You Are A Non-Motherf*cking Factor, B!tch” T-shirts (which Evelyn famously yelled at Tami, turning their verbal warfare into an actual smackdown). Shaunie and Evelyn also have their own “update talk” made of manis and pedis and yapping about Tami. Evelyn wants to make it clear that she’s not a homewrecker because she wasn’t shacking up with Tami’s ex-husband when they were married, while classy-@ss Shaunie’s pretty much thinking that this whole mess could have been avoided if everyone just calmed the eff down for one frickin’ moment.

The Evelyn-Tami rehashing temporarily gets put to rest with the introduction of new blood. We meet Meeka Claxton, head of a global real estate company and actual wife of a basketball player.

She seems sweet and demure and so damn baby-faced that you just want to dress her up in little doll clothes and put her in a gingerbread house until you actually hear her open her mouth (again...and again...and again...), at which point you just want to give her some duct tape.

Basketball Wives season 3 looks better than season 1 and season 2 put together. Granted, I barely watched any episodes of season 2, but after watching this trailer, I don't want to miss season 3. Royce Reed is evil, so I'm glad that Evelyn Lozada starts a fight with her (that's toward the end of the trailer). We also get to meet new castmember Meeka Claxton and we learn that Tami "does not do hands." Ha!

Jennifer Williams continues to kill it with her hawt sunglasses. These b!tches know how to dress and they always have the best stunna shades. Enjoy!

Basketball Wives Season 3

Evelyn Lozada asked Vh1 for $20k per episode to return to Basketball Wives for a 3rd season. Turns out Chad Ochocinco's future wifey got paid! Evelyn won't receive 20 grand per episode, but her salary has doubled and then some, up from the $7,500/per episode she was making before.

The professional golddigger is reportedly "very happy" with VH1's counter-offer, and like a true diva, she even got the network to bow down!

Evelyn didn't just get a pay bump -- we're told Producers also APOLOGIZED to Lozada for the way she was portrayed in the Season 2 finale ... a huge reason why Evelyn was hesitant to re-sign with the network.

Lozada -- who threatened to leave the show after she felt the producers backstabbed her -- is happy with the new deal ... and shooting is already underway.

This story should serve as a lesson to all timid folks - speak up! You may get what you want.

Evelyn Lozada may have a new reality show with fiance Chad Ochocinco if E! network gets its way.

E! execs caught wind that she wanted to quit "Basketball Wives" ... they approached her with a new TV offer. The new show would feature both Evelyn and Ocho living the life -- which is kinda difficult ... because she lives in Miami ... and he lives in Cincinnati.

Evelyn hasn't made any official decision yet -- but according to sources, the couple is seriously entertaining the offer.

Do we care? These two seem more concerned about their showmance than they do an actual serious relationship. It's not like we'll care about these two for much longer, especially if they don't release a sex tape. As Evelyn said on the Basketball Wives reunion: "B*tch, have you seen me in the motherf*ckin' bedroom?" No gurl, but we'd like to.

Chad Ochocinco's fiance and professional gold-digger Evelyn Lozada says that she wants $20k per episode or she'll walk.

Evelyn already threatened to leave the show after she got upset because producers told her co-star that she had slept with her man, hoping to get a cat fight outta Evelyn and another chick.

Lozada and the other girls currently pull in around $7,500 an episode -- which means Lozada's latest demand would mean a SERIOUS raise. No word yet on the show's next move.

None of the women on "Basketball Wives" are likable or relatable, but I think Evelyn is perfect for the show. She's a diva, she's a ho, she has a temper, and she's pretty. The same can't be said for the other chicks. Evelyn's a package deal of bad characteristics! She deserves that raise.

Evelyn Lozada wants to spread her wings and fly the 'Basketball Wives' coop because producers have ticked her off. Evelyn says producers busted her out to Tami and told her Evelyn slept with Kenny Anderson while they were married. You would have to assumed it was Shaunie O'Neal, who is also a producer on the show, because Evelyn told her dirty little secret to her. 

After Tami walked away from the dinner table, Evelyn told Shaunie that she had slept with Tami's ex-husband years ago but didn't realize he was married at the time. After this big revelation, she decided she wasn't going to break the news that night, but they later show Tami sobbing outside while smoking a cigarette. Obviously, the producers gave Tami a heads-up on the secret although Evelyn wanted to confront her on her own.