Fashion Disasters (Page 3)

Scary Spice looked like an eskimo hooker with a curled beehive last night at the MOBO Awards in London. I actually think I may have been able to overlook the massive amounts of fug that is her hideous pocket zip down dress, but that curled mass of hairsprayed yarn above her forehead makes me want to get violent. I want a catfight with her just so I can rip it out and run before MOBO's security guards choke me and knock me out cold. It would be so worth it.

Christina Aguilera appeared at the Africa Rising concert in London on Tuesday looking like she desperately needs some self-esteem and fashion sense. Everyday is Halloween for Xtina. That shemale in shock in the background totally wants to grab her tits.

This was supposed to be published days ago, I saved it as a draft instead of hitting "publish." I need meds.

Victoria Beckham knows how to get attention, doesn't she? Posh Spice and her Becks showed up at Macy's in NYC on Friday to promote their new fragrance. Victoria showed up in $6,000 Antonio Berardi PVC boots, and I am in so much pain just from looking at these pictures.

There's too much pressure being applied to the sole of Posh's feet. My body weight would not permit this. I would fall over and rip the boots right open. Lucky for Vicki, she prob doesn't weigh more than 102, so it works out.

I admire her dedication to fashion. Everytime I rock some stilletos or something way tight I tell myself 'beauty is pain'. In Posh' case, beauty is excruciating discomfort and awkward walking around. I almost want a pair so I can rock 'em while I'm drunk. I wouldn't get very far but I'd laugh hysterically each time I stood up then fell down again. Me thinks those boots alone = a complete Halloween costume.

Michael Jackson is lookin' hot! So hawt that he doesn't even need to comb his mane or wig, I can't tell, he doesn't need to take off his pajama pants and put on slacks. Nah. This is raw, has been train wreck swagger for ya, and this is how it's done.

His nightie look would be perfection with some pumps. I miss Jacko in heels. He rocks 'em better than I do.

"I have to say, Katie Holmes has become so much more sophisticated in so many ways, but I think she's in a dip right now. I can't explain it. She ascended from this tomboyish waif look to an incredible sexy sophisticate. We realize how much style she's capable of. I don't get it."

Tom Cruise wants Katie Holmes to look fugly whenever she's not his arm piece at some premiere or party. You know he lays out her clothes every night or tells her what to put on whenever he's not home. She is a doormat. A fugly, saggy doormat, the reason why some men don't want to get married. Beneath the fug outfits, Katie's gorgeous. Tim speaks da truf!

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There are no words. Bitch wasn't going incogfug, this is how she dresses all the time, in rags. At least she's comfy.

Many women don't hesitate or resist letting themselves go after they wed. Without a doubt, Katie Holmes is one of dem lazy bitches. She used to be hawt. She used to be sexy. She didn't always look like a 40-year-old lesbian librarian, but that's who she is today. A. Fugly. Ass. Bitch.

Katie is gorgeous, but she's putting in all the effort in the world to successfully hide it. It's tragic. This is not how anyone under the age of 60 with Katie's figure should be dressing. Ever.

I get it, Jenny, and as the world can clearly see, you're proud of your tits.

You also once bragged about how people pay to have boobs like yours, and you just happen to be all natural. But, just cover up already. The exposed bra look is tacky and you're setting yourself up for one hell of a nip slip.

Those boots!

They scream 'LOOK AT ME! I'M AN ATTENTION WHORE!' and I get that that's the point, but they're way fug.

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Well heeled and ready to go, Lindsay Lohan shows how far she can stretch while heading out in Los Angeles on Sunday.

When I first saw this pic I was like 'Awww Lindsay's looking really good!' until I saw the shoes and realized she allowed a 3-year-old kid or Amy Winehouse to pick out her clothing choice. Those shoes took the look from cute to WTF?

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