Google Searches News

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

• the perfect circumcised penis picture - Kanye West's face?

• anatomy of a dimple

• tyra banks is too full of herself - YEP!

• "i will like to get fucked now and sucked also by a big fat mommy"- What is POTP, a brothel? We don't provide these kind of services, folks.

• child in thong - I don't wanna know.

• how to turn a good girl to a whore - This is not the kind of inspiration you should be getting from Slumdog Millionaire

• blow job sensation - ME!

• douche bag university - Great movie title and actual idea. I just dunno which city has the most douchebags, but I think the school's curriculum should include extensive courses in chivalry, etiquette and women's studies, all of which will be diploma prerequisites.

• does beyonce have friends - Only Sasha Fierce.

• how do i know if i put it in her ass? - Attach a GPS to your penis and check its location from your iPhone.

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

• did justin timberlake stuff for the love guru? - Doubtful, but I didn't watch it. I really don't care what JT's working with, he's too much of a conceited douche for it to even matter.

• all kristens are sluts - Is this true? All I know is that all Mikes are assholes.

• do females usually have to take a shit after ass fuck?

• m & m tits photos - I've said Miss Piggy Clarkson has m&m size tits, that's why POTP appeared for this inquiry.

• can your testicle pop? - Sure, but it won't make a snap and crackle sound when it does. You'd have to be doing some Johnny Knoxville shit to pop it, I'm sure.

• is ashton kutcher mom lesbian - I've never heard this rumor before?!!!!

• cover up herpes on face

• beat a woman and then fuck her - Chris Brown, get off of POTP!

• cherries vomit

• celebrity vagina lips - Should give more exclusive interviews.
  

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. amy winehouse pees standing - I knew it!
2. manipulating her boobs
3. midget tranny prostitute magazine - But what's it called?! I want a subscription.
4. had to poop so bad - While having sex? No worries. Some dudes are into that.
5. heaven slut - I'd like to think all sluts get to heaven. They have done a lot of community service work after all.
6. sweaty lesbians
7. how to dress like lady gaga for prom - Wear a body suit, nylons, bright makeup and heels, hairspray your hair, go to a stylist. Good luck.
8. age limit for male waxing
9. how long before miley cyrus gets knocked up - I dunno, Billy Ray Cyrus. Relax. She'd probably have an abortion.
10. abnormaly small dicks - Anything under six inches. Ha.

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. i married a slut - "We want pre-nup, we want pre-nup! YEAH!"
2. how to get long legs like miley - Stretch for a few hours a day, everyday.
3. he wears bikini panties
4. what kind of extensions does lindsay lohan use - Ones you probably can't afford on a regular basis.
5. straight & tranny - Tameka Foster, Pete Wentz, Nicolette Sheridan, Kim from the Housewives of Atlanta and Megan Fox!
6. jerk off to jessica biel's ass - Only if JT's riding it.
7. blah blah blah hannah montana/miley cyrus la la la la la!!!! - I feel the same way. I try to drown her untalented ass out but I gotta mention her on POTP at times.
8. gorgeous nude couples
9. diva lessons - Christian Bale teaches the best course.
10. man humping lady with his penus - Luv it! I can't wait to start incorporating "penus," "pennis" and "bubes" into my POTP posts.

***  Getting my hair did right now, got a laptop in my lap. Now if that isn't the best excuse for not writing a personal/sidenote story today than I dunno what is. <3

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. let me see your tits - But you didn't say please, a-hole! And I don't like the colors of your beads.
2. for announcing that she's a cheating whore
3. hairpulling bitches - Ooohh! These skanks are the worst kinda ho, but still better than the weave yanking bitches or the wig-pulling sluts.
4. cop who murder his last two wives - Drew Peterson. Scott Peterson murdered his preggers wife Lacey. What's with the name Peterson?
5. recommended beverages while pregnant - Alcoholic beverages, muthafucka?! Or non-alcoholic?
6. "she is never satisfied" - You two just may not be sexually compatible. Or she has a side dish.
7. no ass bitches
8. "how reverend simmons felt about kanye talking about his daughters - I dunno what Kanye said? I need to do my homework.
9. kelly clarkson become fat - Let the Texas native bitch keep it country and eat her fried chicken, dumplings and cakes. At least she doesn't claim to be a "Size 2!!!"
10. playingwithnipples - Am I missing something here? Nipples are not toys, nor are they satellites that you can pinch and squeeze until you're able to pick up HBO and Showtime channels and get free WiFi. Don't play with 'em, treat em like a real man or lesbian should.

*** No Personal/Sidenote story today. I already know what I wanted to write about, just didn't have the time.

xoxo

Gossip Girl

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. ass cheese - Huh?
2. nude lesibians fighting in bedroom
3. how do mexicans feel about whites? - OMGosh.
4. federline not cute - I always thought Daddy Dude was sexy but not no mo'.
5. fat bitches show a lot of ass - That's why they should wear shit in the right size.
6. i like fat jessica simpson - She's not fat, but I like her too.
7. my dad needs some pussy - Awww, what a sweet son or daughter.
8. horny male flight attendant
9. is kanye west circumcised? - Hmmm!!!! Never thought about it but I'm guessing yeah. He probably thinks his dick is too artistic to have some foreskin on it, so if he wasn't circumcised as a child, he would get circumcised as an adult. He is supposedly posing nude in the future.
10. imma be the one to break it to you - Thanks. You wanna do so over coffee at Starbucks or at my house? female celebrity sweaty sexy armpits

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. how to whore on the side - Sell your snatch during the early hours or on the weekends, take a separate bag of clothes and never pay for a hotel room with a credit card. Cash only.
2. pennis of most handsome men - I'm interested in this too, except I know how to spell penis correctly.
3. fatssica simpson - Hahaha!
4. ladies 1st time leaving house without underpants on
   
5. i like bubes - How long have people been spelling boobs this way?
6. is there anything good about size zero? - You can actually get work if you're a model.
   
7. girl morphing into slut pictures - Miley Cyrus and hopefully not Dakota Fanning.
8. are you ready for twins - Twin nuts? Yes. I don't like guys who only have half a sack.
9. eyebrows don't match
10. dating for two years never says i love you - Sounds like a bad fuckship. He or she has a side dish.

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. "and raped him" - Something a 10 year-old girl could do to Verne Troyer. Just saying.
2. do lesbian relationships last? - With the exception of Linds and Sam relationship, they have the same chances of survival that heterosexual relationships do. Eff statistics, make your own.
3. skinny crackhead sex
4. i love to pop pimples- With my tongue. Hahahahahaha!
5. "kelly clarkson has a fat face" - That's why she gets photoshopped to death.
6. fat girls beat up skinny girls
7. nipples playing - Hide and go seek. This makes me miss the good old days when Britney was roaming L.A. streets straight braless and on high alert.
8. jake gyllenhaal peed on lady - How does someone know about our secret love affair?
9. spanish are not white
10. how to get in her pants - Vaseline and a crowbar.

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. i wish i had seen your bare bottom - I know you do, but not on the first date. I'm not that kinda ho.
2. in shape grandma blowjob - Grandmas who give head get in shape by doing so? Is there scientific evidence to back this up?
3. www.good lookin bitches.com- This site doesn't exist. Maybe someone was searching the URL name first and they wanna buy the domain name. It's a great name for a website and I suspect that Whoopi Goldberg will top the list.
4. christian woman who loves anal - Maybe it's a spiritual experience for her. It's like communion, only with more lube and less crackers.
5. "piss on her face" - But only after you get her off, please. Be a gentleman.
6. girls geting there bubes hit naked - Seriously, WTF is a BUBE? And why do I wanna start spelling boobs this way?
7. cute gentle lesbians - Sounds like a teddy bear I should buy my cousin for her bday.
8. how to avoid double chin in pictures - Try getting photographed with a foreign object in front of your double chinny chin chin, like an erect penis or a trumpet. That always works.
9. "there ain't nothing sexy about those bitches" - Ain't that the truf, gurlfriend! And that tall one better back off of my man or I'm gonna piss on her face!
10. pregnant girl how to child removed from ass video - I really wasn't gonna touch this one because it's strange enough to stand on its own, but I think some pregnant girl is trying to deliver her baby through her ass!!! Dear gawd, please edumacate this bitch. Or let me be completely wrong.
    

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. do the jonas brothers think it is okay to masturbate - Yes, but only while listening to their music.
2. bubes and penis pictures - Nothing disturbes me more than people who can't spell worth shiz trying to look up porn on the internet. Your sex organs should be removed... unless you want pubes on your boobs in which case you're probably gay, dude.
3. another name for male slut - Joe Francis, Brody Jenner, Adam Levine.
4. new titties
5. im an asshole who just got embarassed - I bet you did!
6. michelle's dress looked like toilet paper - And cotton balls.
7. jay z touching beyonce's boob
8. j crew coats that the obama girls whore - Whore? Seriously?! You dumb whore.
9. did jes from rock of love have sex with bret michaels in real life - Probably. I don't see any other way he'd let her get that far in the competition without lots of head and sexy times.
10. hot booty cracks - Ooohhhh! You mean when someone has a fever? Heh. Yes, their entire body's temperature is hotter. This is one of the reasons why docs take temperatures in da booty crack, it gives the most accurate reading.