Google Searches (Page 2)

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. putting a spear in someones ass - Sounds like a lot of work, but just a natural progression from putting a spear into wild animals during hunts.
2. girls waxing their face - Ouch!
3. she is not wearing a bra - How would you know that if you weren't staring at her chichis?
4. booty rack
5. "without any panties" - I feel feminine.
6. what does the saying "he has his irish up" mean? - It means Ted Kennedy's jovial mood returned after he was taken to the hospital.
7. arm pit pictures - They totally get me off too.
8. bioncyee - song at last - WOW! Is that really how you think Beyonce's name is spelt?! What kind of huge ass rock have you been hiding under for the past 10 years?
9. looking for fat single ladies
10. wtf was up with the hat aretha franklin was wearing - It was fierce and I wanna wear it sometime while I'm giving a blowjob.

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. is it dumb to wear a wig - Yes, Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta. It is dumb to wear a wig that looks like strands of bamboo glued together and curled at the tips.
2. is divorce a good thing - When you get paid, hells yeah!
3. sluts who go down on old guys
   
4. how to be a power bottom - You dream big, dontcha? Why ya gotta be a power bottom? Can't you just be happy with getting laid?
5. evil married housewife bitch - The Desperate Housewives spin-off!
6. breasts or camel or pussy or cunt or ass "nastia lukin"- A pervert who can't make up his or her mind!
7. girlfriend puke after blowjob - This may be a compliment. Maybe you're packing so much heat she can't help but gag?! I dunno.
8. how big was his dick - Big enough to make you puke after a blowjob.
9. women who do anything for money pictures - Every skank, male or female, on a Vh1 "reality" dating show.
10. lesbians nipple pinching
    

Editor's Note: Craziest Google searches that led people to this site are in bold, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. is a girl with no shame a whore - Oh shiz! This question is timeless... A girl with no shame doesn't consider herself to be a whore, she thinks her lifestyle is healthy, normal and/or beneficial but that does not mean that she ain't no skank! She's a slut if she sleeps around. Period. But if she's responsible about it and enjoys it, she just loves sex. Does she feel as though she's making conscious decisions to sell herself short ? Doubtful. A whore is determined based upon lifestyle not personal perspective. If a skank is sleeping around and she has no shame, she's a shameless whore. Also 'whore' is subjective by nature to both the subject of the label and to others. If the whore doesn't think she is one, than in her mind she is not. If she's having a great time making fuck, it will be difficult for her to feel shame, but her actions determine whether or not she's a slut, that, and if she has a gold teef pimp keepin' her in check.
2. will someone tell beyonce she is fat - If you give me her cell number, sure!
3. fight female crotch - Find the force from within. I have faith that you can win this battle.
4. how to accentuate baby bump - Wear something tight and cup dat shit!
5. in the crack naked pussy pics - I don't speak sex addict, wtf does this mean?
6. how to get a body like samantha ronson - Pussy, redbull and cigarettes only.
7. duct tape nude pics - This sounds funner than naked Twister. I'd wanna duct tape my parts if I knew it wouldn't hurt like hell when the tape is removed. These psychos typing shiz on Google actually edumacate me on what crazy people are into.
8. penis changes - Color in the dark when erect. Someone should make glow in the dark lube. Flavored, please. Gawd, I'm twisted.
9. definitely not gay - Jake Gyllenhaal.
   
10. hot hand job at whore house - Cums for free when you sign up for a night of service.

Good news, the crazies got to POTP yesterday and I had no trouble composing this list of 10 today. :)

Editor's Note: Craziest Google searches that led people to this site are (in Italics) , non-italicized words = my commentary.

1. hot to douch an asshole - ZOMG.
2. gorgeous tits - Keira Knightley, Kevin Federline.
3. child thong - Something Mariah Carey would make her baby daughter wear.

4. crack pipe sluts - Whores who screw for crack? Or whores who light up after having really bad sex?
5. gay boyfriend turned straight? - What Star Jones tried to do with Gay Al, what Sarah Jessica Parker was tryna do with Matthew Broderick and what Jennifer Hudson is doing right now with her gay fiance, Punk.
6. dude+sex+movies
7. who's hotter david beckham vs brad pitt - I don't think the two should be compared... so hard. I'd have to say Brad Pitt because his voice doesn't squeak as much as David Beckham's.
8. i do not understand

Yes, I only have eight inquiries posted today. My Google searches have been boring with unoriginal inquiries like "Britney Spears' pussy" and "Rihanna haircut," it's a little less fun to work with.

I spent forever sifting through days of inquiries on my traffic tracker just to get these eight. No worries, I will fight the good fight and probably just dig through archives until I can find decent inquiries until the head cases get to POTP again via their weird Google searches. I love doing Google searches posts, it allows me to be more liberal in my commentary than typical celebrity gossip does.

My fave Google searches posts are here, here, here but I kind of love 'em all. To re-live the glory days with me just click on the 'Google Searches' label at the bottom of this post.

Editor's Note: Here's my top 10 craziest Google searches (in Italics) that led people to this site, non-italicized words = my commentary.

1. a picture of a naked women smacked as hard as possible
2. can a man impregnate a gorilla video - Do you have a local zoo you can go to where you can try this out?
3. picture of a butt hole - Jeremy Piven. Daddy Dude.
4. jack daniels blanket - Where is this available and does it come with booze?
5. 2009 year of pussy calendar
6. pics of horny crackheads - Yo mama!
7. lick jessica simpsons asshole - Because it... drumroll, please, tastes like chicken.
8. does jessica alba look white - Not since the last time I checked.
9. how to make wife whore
10. bitches fighting nude - Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson

Editor's Note: Here's my top 10 craziest Google searches (in Italics) that led people to this site, non-italicized words = my commentary.

1. mormon lotion - I think I'd get knocked up if I ever tried to use this as a lube, but I'm interested in trying out some of this in aloe for the hand and body.
2. indian girls pissing and pit - Is this some kind of ritual I can get in on?
3. married sluts - Sounds like a hot porn.
4. hey google what's eminem been up to - Haha. Me and Google be tight too. Hey Google, what's Oprah's checking account pin number?
5. small, penis photos - Yes, you are still small even if you find pictures of men who are smaller.
6. lookin' good for jesus - Are you showing some tits, butt cleavage or testicles? If not, you're completely overdressed.
7. what is panty pudding - Body fluids that flow like a river in the mom jeans of Claymates at a Gayken concert before, after and during the show.
   
8. hairy girls crotch - I'm having visuals of this one girl from gym class in middle school. I'll leave it at that.
9. patty the pussing pimple - Hmmmm.... This character needs to be written into Hannah Montana somehow. Patty could be chipper, yet edumacational.
10. the hottest bulge in the west - My gut. WESTSIIIIDE, fool! I be makin' it rain on dem skinny ass hoes. Stuntin' is a habit.

Editor's Note: Here's my top 10 craziest Google searches (in Italics) that led people to this site, non-italicized words = my commentary.

1. are gay boyfriends worth it - If they're hawt, rich and help you pick out clothes, YES!
2. horny old man with period sluts pictures - I kind of like this. Next time, instead of shouting out the traditional "Effing bitch," I'mma call a ho a PERIOD SLUT!
3. "took a dump" nervous - Awww... you've taken your first dump in your boyfriend's bathroom. Your relationship is getting serious. But, don't worry, he won't give a shit that you gave a shit in the toilet, unless it stinks really bad... I see why you're nervous. Quick! Light a match.
4. future slut- Suri Cruise!
5. jessica simpson is fat! - No she's not!
6. brown pimple puss - Doesn't sound like a pimple, just a new Paris Hilton outbreak somewhere.
7. how jessica biel got her ass - Yours will never look like Jessica Biel's, but you can try butt implants and botox injections in your ass cheeks to see what result that brings.
8. love to suck - Popsicles and lollipops.
   
9. i dont want to see hot picsof hannah montana i want preety not sexy
10. granny with make-up - Is actually working as a hooker on the side. You know the economy is really bad when grannys be turnin' tricks just to buy denture cleaner.

1. using female sluts as urinals -  If I had a penis I possibly would?!
2. uncontrollable laughing - At the Single Ladies YouTube videos.
   
3. your sister shows her tits - And your brother shows his dick, but at least your sister gets paid for it.
4. how to pop own joints
5. kelly clarkson small tits - REALLY? Looking for proof...
6. power bottom list - How do I submit my name for consideration?
7. bitch pics
8. a full video of sex - With yo mama!
   
9. fitness dvds for fatties - Awww... Nothing makes a better Christmas present than suggesting someone should lose some weight.
   
10. gyllenhaal jake circumcised
    

1. excuses to show people your penis - Being drunk, hawt, hot or on a dare.
2. fat girls can't - be skinny and fat at the same time.
3. butch pussy - Rosie O'Donnell. Ewwww!!
4. cant believe daughter growing up
5. i like trannies and im straight - So do I.
6. orgy casting call - Where in L.A. is this goin' down?
7. robert pattinson´s phone number - I'm not gonna give you that.
8. sluts in leggings - Lindsay Lohan!
9. small penis - Spencer Pratt
10. booty showing - on Broadway and 5th at 9 p.m. tonight.
    

1. gay mormons porn - Must. See. This. It's now all I want for Christmas.
   
2. your wife is a whore photos - I'd prefer your wife is a whore t-shirts instead.
   
3. "heath ledger pant size"- Do you wanna dress up like him an accept an award on his behalf?
   
4. beckhams and herpes - Beckhams and don't have it.
5. dudes get nude in shower video - Why didn't they keep their clothes on?
6. kim kardashian butt good size? - If horse ass is your thing - YES!
7. skanky bitches naked - This is much better than Grandmas showing their boobs.
   
8. skinny with gummi bears - Although gummi bears are healthy, this meal plan lacks too much good stuff.
9. anal sex disasters - Sex with Clay Aiken!
   
10. mexico sex hardcore - I hear the sex is better in Arizona. ;)