Neither Holly nor Criss said that they'll remain friends, so I took it upon my self to issue that contrived, mandatory PR-friendly statement.

I didn't see this relationship going anywhere. Criss is some 41-year-old, can you believe he's 41, player, magician douche and Holly is looking for a longtime commitment, marriage, a white picket fence and three future porn star kids in the next few years. He's not the right man for the job and I'm sorry that she was completely unaware of that. They've only be dating since October!
Girls Next Door star Holly Madison and magician Criss Angel have called it quits.
"She's still heartbroken and regretful about how things went down with Hef. Then she ran into the arms of Criss Angel. But then it's like, 'This is not everything I thought it would be.'"
The two seemed to be in high spirits around the holidays, celebrating their joint birthdays at Las Vegas' LAX Nightclub on Dec. 19. "I made Criss a paper ring, but he won't wear it. When he starts wearing his paper ring, I will be the one to propose."
Added Angel, "You know, what Holly and I have is really something that money can't buy. She is enough for me."
They also met each other's parents around the holidays.
Holly will find someone new, fo cheesy, but she needs to find a man who won't cut her heart in half and disappear like a magician will. Pun intended. Heh. My puns suck. :)
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