Horny Dorks

Excuse my headline, but this is Kimmy Open For Business Kardashian we're talking about here. Even if a magnetic chip was implanted into each of her thighs, she would still be spreading whenever an athlete enters the room.

Kim Kardashian and Mark Sanchez have been reportedly hooking up before she even married Kris Humphries!

Kim and Mark began secretly dating while Kim was filming the first season of "Kourtney and Kim Take New York." The two "like to meet in hotels for dinner dates." A source revealed: "Whenever Kim is in New York, they hang out. They are very careful with not being seen together."

Mark and the reality star are planning a trip this Super Bowl weekend, according to this rumor. Interesting!!!!

Photos: Wenn and Twitter

An eyewitness says: "They were making out all night. They were acting very lovey-dovey and kissing the entire night."

Both stars have already mixed business with pleasure. Josh hooked up with his So Undercover co-star Miley Cyrus and Emily dated her Brothers & Sisters co-star Dave Annabel.

These two are both pretty sexy. I approve!!

Kanye West is well-known for liking bootylicious women (hello, Amber Rose), but now he might be after the queen of all @sses, Kim Kardashian. According to the New York Daily News, both Kanye and Kim attended an after-party for Jay-Z and Kanye’s “Watch the Throne” concert in L.A. and it looked like there was something more than platonic love brewing between them.

An attendee of the party recalls, “Kanye was eating Kim up like she was a piece of cake. He was all over her--caressing her head, touching her waist. I think he was dying to kiss her, but there were too many people in the room.”

I don’t know much about what Kanye’s like when he’s drunk off his ass--besides making virginal country-pop singers cry--but I bet he’s the horny kind of drunk. Given that the two have already done the nasty, being there with Kim probably just triggered his peen. A love connection between these two? Eh, let’s chalk it up to hormones and blame it on the alcohol. There’s just too much ego for one relationship.

Lil Wayne and his Italian girlfriend Dhea reportedly got hitched two weeks ago! Media Takeout reports that Lil Wayne and Dhea had a "non-traditional wedding ceremony" for those who "don't believe in the western marriage ideal."

Dhea and Weezy began dating after Wayne was released from prison. They promised to "write the rules of their marriage as they go." They aren't legally committed to each other, but Dhea did receive two wedding rings out of her sham wedding: one on her index finger in the Hebrew tradition, another on her ring finger in the Christian tradition.

This 'wedding' sounds mad cheap (and senseless), but I'm all for using any excuse to get people together to party.

Cameron Diaz and Diddy have had an on-and-off f*ckship since 2008. Cameron first pursued Diddy during Oscars week three years ago and now that she and A-Rod are over, she started hooking back up with Sean Combs.

An insider says "When she's single, she'll booty call him."

And now, they've gone public: Nuzzling in a booth at NYC's Catch on Oct. 24, the two were "inseparable -- they had their hands all over each other."

On Nov. 11 Cameron and Diddy had lunch in Beverly Hills where they were spotted "making out" and "acting romantic."

Diddy is still currently dating has been singer Cassie. This isn't the first time Diddy has cheated on Cassie. Hopefully they have an open relationship.

As far as Cameron and Diddy goes... I don't even want to think this is true. It's too traumatizing.

I never thought I'd say these words ever, but it is possible to downgrade from Marc Anthony. After having a brief showmance with Bradley Cooper, JLo is now in the early stages of a serious relationship with the hot, sexy dude pictured below. Jennifer Lopez, 42, is reportedly dating her backup dancer Casper Smart, 24. Jenny and Casper are currently traveling together in Europe, acting like a couple.

Casper and Jennifer spent the first few months "as friends," but things have matured into a romantic relationship.

Jen has already married another dancer, that Chris Judd dude. She clearly has a type: over 18 and available.

When was the last time you watched a midget run into a bush while another one danced her "underwears" off? Snooki and Deena Nicole Cortese were so drunk on last night's Jersey Shore, it was almost inspiring. *Writes down new life goal as a tear slowly rolls down face.*

Deena went clubbing without her underwear on, and she was flashing victims her vagina, and a mortified JWoww said "She needs a wax!" But Deena's kooka flashing occurred before Deena began kissing her BFF Snooki. Lesbian hookups are supposed to be hot, but even Pauly D and Vinny were turned off. Deena has no underwear on and she's getting her crabs all over Snooki's crotch. The meatballs then made out "for three hours," according to Sammi, and then proceeded to jump in bed together. The next morning, Snooki and Deena both don't remember a thing, but we sure as hell do.

I feel sorry for Deena. She was super excited to have Pauly D stab her with his tongue for five seconds. Then she claims that she doesn't want to "do sex" with anyone (other than Pauly), and thus far no one wants to do sex with her. Poor Snooki had to fill in for a male so that Deena could get off. If only Deena was hot. Check out the video below. If you made it through Deena and Pauly's graphic make out session, you'll be able to make it through this segment. Their tongue digesting took up about 5 minutes of last night's show, but this was the only make out video I could find, which is actually a good thing.

Madonna and Brahim Zaibat, 24, have been sexing for a while now, but it wasn't until photos of Madonna and Brahim hugging on the beach surfaced this weekend that many sites began to take notice.

Brahim is a French break-dancer. He was spotted hugging and kissing on his suga mama in the Hamptons while her two 5 year-old children, David and Mercy, played in the sand nearby.

Madonna and Brahim have been dating since last year. He caught her eye while performing at the launch of her clothing line at Macy's. Madge and Brahim also vacationed in Paris earlier this summer.

It's sexist bullsh!t that men can date women 40 years younger and no one says a damn thing, but if a woman dates a man 5 or 10 years younger, she's a "cougar." The term "cougar" should never be taken as an insult. If you're a female, I say you're damn stupid if you only date older men. Go 'head now Madonna!

Photo: Fame

After the girls greet the boys on last night's season premiere of "Jersey Shore," Deena Nicole Cortese says that Ronnie Ortiz-Magro was her juicehead dream guy last season, but now she's into Pauly D.

Last season Mike Sorrentino would make sandwiches, or clean the toilet with his tongue, in order to avoid any form of sexual contact with Deena. Pauly has also never been interested in grenades, which is exactly what Deena is. The term was created because of her. It's like a backhanded compliment, only it's an insult. But because Pauly D wants to be carefree in Italia, he made out with Deena on the season premiere. Now if you didn't watch this already, you may not have the stomach for it. Who kisses like this?! Pauly was stabbing Deena with his tongue because he wanted to keep it away from her mouth. This was nasty and not hot. Poor Deena. This ain't nothing to celebrate over honey.

Pauly D and Deena Cortese Kissing Video

Well they're dating, and they're traveling together to promote their new Spider-Man movie, so it makes sense. Some snitches have revealed that Emma Stone and our Because He's Hot guy Andrew Garfield are sexing!

Days after promoting their new movie at Comic-Con in San Diego, Emma and Drew went to a West Hollywood bar on July 25.

The duo, who’ve been dating since late June, got to the bar at 10:50 p.m., shared drinks and snacks and had an animated conversation. Garfield told the waiter, “Put it on my room,” and he and Stone headed for the elevator.

This f*ckship is reportedly very "hush-hush," which is how I think I like it.

The dating pool in Hollywood is more like a kiddie pool, and I'm just not ready to accept that these two are an item. They'd be too adorable together and I'm just not ready for all that cuteness. I also think this will be a hint that Emma is like a Taylor Swift. I'm thinking that there's a whole lotta whore in her behind the 13 year old looks and innocent persona.