Howard Stern

One thing you can't say about Howard Stern is that he isn't honest. Howard's season premiere of America's Got Talent airs this Monday and he's doing the rounds with the media in support of his new gig. Britney Spears is an official judge on The X Factor and Stern thinks it's ridiculous!

At a press conference today, the shock jock said: "I think it’s a wonderful decision. Britney still thinks the earth is flat."

He said that she will pull in the ratings though! "I can't imagine… I think we’re going to tune in to see her, to see if she can function through the thing." He said that Simon Cowell and LA Reid will be giving actual critiques while Spears "will sit there and eat a lollipop and wear a sexy outfit."

Sounds about right!

When asked if he'll watch Brit Brit on the show he said: "I'll tune in to see what kind of trainwreck she is, absolutely,"

The new season of America's Got Talent premieres on May 14 and Howard Stern has signed on to join the show. With his new gig, Howard has to do a lot of press. He recently spoke to "Extra" and explained that he wants to be a good host and critics who have watched him judging in the auditions have had kind things to say about him. Naturally, he was also asked about Kim Kardashian although that has sh!t to do with America's Got Talent!

Stern watched Kim's recent appearance on the Today Show where she refused to talk about her showmance with Kanye West.

"This is a girl who got famous revealing everything about her personal life, now… she thinks she’s Jennifer Aniston, she’s on there, ‘I don’t want to talk about Kanye, I don’t want to speak about it, I don’t read the tabloids, everybody back off.’”

He added: “The second her show gets a dip in the ratings, she’ll have Kanye out there in his underpants dancing around on her show, I mean, come on already, stop the nonsense.”

No further comments are necessary.

America's Got Talent just got a lot more controversial...and probably a hell of a lot funnier, too. The show announced today that shock jock Howard Stern will be joining the panel of judges next season.

“He’s a proven innovator and his track record in broadcasting is truly remarkable," said NBC alternative programming head Paul Telegdy. "Howard is very passionate about this show and is fully committed to its future success.” Howard may be excited, but if I were planning to compete on the show, I'd be pretty nervous right about now. The criticisms are about to get a lot harsher.

Howard will fill the spot vacated by Piers Morgan, who quit the show after last season. He'll judge alongside Howie Mandel and fellow f-bomb lover Sharon Osbourne. Network TV will be a big change of pace for Stern, who pretty much says whatever he damn well pleases on his satellite radio show. The gamble is likely to pay off for NBC, though, as Howard's rabid fan base could translate to a huge ratings boost. I know I'll be tuning in!

(Photos: WENN)

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that the King of All Media may replace Piers Morgan's judging slot on America's Got Talent. Stern has been offered $15 million to take over, but the show would have to move from Los Angeles to New York, where he hosts his Sirius FM radio show.

Yesterday, Piers Morgan announced that he's leaving America's Got Talent to focus on his CNN program, Piers Morgan Tonight.

I adore Howard Stern, but I don't think this is the right fit. I think he would have been better on American Idol, a show I no longer watch. I don't watch America's Got Talent either, but I would if he joined the panel. I think Stern would hate the lack of talent and the randomness that plagues the show, but he'd have fun with it and make it interesting. I'm a stern fan, which does make me biased as hell.

Well, he's not trying to have a heart attack, evil b!tch! Hugh Hefner's ex-fiance, 40 year-old-looking-attention-whore-who-claims-to-be-25, Crystal Harris continues to hurt Hugh Hefner in the sunset years of his life.

Crystal was a guest on Howard Stern's radio show this morning, so naturally Stern asked her about what grown folk's business is like with someone who is lucky to still be alive.

Crystal said that Hugh Hefner sex would last "like two seconds, then I was just over it. I was like, 'Ahhh.' I was over it. I just like, walked away. I'm not turned on by Hef, sorry."

Harris is now spending a lot of time with Dr. Phil's son Jordan McGraw, but she still claims that they aren't dating.

A source recently spotted Crystal and Jordan at a bar in NYC.

"Crystal was drinking mojitos and laughing, and Jordan was sipping a drink on the rocks. But once their friends left, they really settled in and seemed more and more comfortable."

I can't remember the last time I blogged about such an evil person. Hugh Hefner is 85 years old, why can't she let him live in peace? Leave him alone already, you effing C U Next Tuesday! Hef gave this whore her career. She needs him in order to remain on the D-list, which is why she's still talking about him. This makes me so upset. Damn her!

Howard Stern has reportedly been critical of Lady Gaga, but the freakish artist appeared on his radio show today, along with boyfriend Luc Carl. Stern did not hesitate to question Gaga about cocaine and sex. Gaga has said that she "occasionally" has some blow, but today she says that she regrets being Like LiLo?!

Gaga said, “I regret every line I ever did. So to all of the little sweethearts who are listening — don’t ever touch it. It’s the devil.”

When asked if she lost her virginity to Luc Carl, Gaga said no. She also reminded her young fans to hold off on sex.

“I love you and I respect your show and I know you want to talk about sex and cocaine, but honestly you should wait as long as you possibly can to have sex … I really think that kids have sex way too young.”

Gaga said that Luc Carl is her best friend and he's going to be in her video. Sigh.

Gaga has a great message, but I still think she suffers from a God complex. She's supposedly trying to save her fans one day, ripping 'em off with fundraising the next, bragging about using coke, and then taking that back. I'm surprised that she took on Howard Stern! I just wish she'd stick to one story.

Photo: Wenn

Howard Stern has been in the news a lot recently. He's commenting on more public stories, and his two cents is getting picked up by outlets like TMZ and the twats on The View. It's nice to see Stern getting press, because the man deserves it. I grew up on Howard Stern and I adore him.

Howard talks about his divorce, his wife Beth Ostrosky, Charlie Sheen, and more. Everyone says that Stern is so kind when you meet him outside of the show, and based upon the comments we've posted below, you can just tell that they're right. LOVE him!

On Charlie Sheen: "I sort of admire Charlie Sheen’s ability to say f*ck you to the world. It’s a fascinating car wreck because, you know, how many people are in Hollywood dying for a hit television show? I don’t know whether to give him a medal or to throw him in a loony bin.”

On single life after divorce: “After my divorce, I realized, ‘Oh, wow, I can go have sex.’ And I was running around, picking up women. Then all of a sudden, it dawned on me that I really didn’t need that much sex. I just wanted somebody with me every minute. I was using women as a surrogate mother. When I tapped into that, it suddenly became very childish behavior."

On getting divorced: "My marriage ending blew my mind. I was upset that I failed and let down my family, my kids, my ex-wife. It was all very painful. I was totally neurotic...I knew things weren't right, and I said, 'Gee, where am I going to get some answers?' I had never been a guy to turn to religion but then as my marriage was coming to an end, I needed help to explain it to my children and make sense of it all...Because once you are a divorced guy, being a father is a whole different thing."

On why he married Beth: "Things changed when we got married. Everyone before was like, 'Oh, are you Howard Stern's blond bimbo that hangs out with him?' But suddenly, when we were married, it was like, 'Oh, this is Howard's wife.' And that was important to me. Part of the reason I got married was that I wanted Beth to understand how important she is and also how equal I feel she is to me."

I completely agree with what Howard Stern said about Gabby Sidibe's future in Hollywood. We can be as optimistic as we wanna, Gabby's race and weight will make her ineligible for many roles and, arguably, a successful career in Hollywood. This poor girl's head has been pumped up with praise. Although Stern is extremely harsh, he offers the talented young star the best advice one can give her: "Get yourself thin!" If not for her burgeoning acting career, Gabby should lose weight for her health.

On Gabby's weight: There’s the most enormous, fat black chick I’ve ever seen. She is enormous. You feel bad because everyone’s pretending she’s a part of show business and she’s never going to be in another movie,” Stern said.

On why Gabby should have won Best Actress: “She really should have gotten the Best Actress award because she’s never going to have another shot. What movie is she gonna be in?”‘Blind Side 2.’ She could be the football player, take out the whole front line.”

On what Gabby should do with her paycheck: “It’s so sad you want to say to her, listen honey, you got a little money in the bank, go get yourself thin. You’re gonna die. And now she’s famous and she’ll never get another acting job”

On Oprah's speech at the Oscars: “Oprah’s another liar, a filthy liar. She’s telling an enormous woman the size of a planet that she’s going to have a career. Come on, be honest with the girl. Look in that room. Who else do you look like? Those are the people that work all the time."

The man speaks the truth and he isn't afraid to do so. Howard is kind hearted, believe it or not. He comes across like a jerk, but he often delivers tough love. He wants Gabby to know that being smaller will help her career and he feels bad that she may be buying into the plus-sized hype. She has a beautiful spirit, but that's simply not enough. And yes, Gabourey has a few roles on the table, but she faces "enormous" limitations if she doesn't get rid of that chunk.

A casting director even said: “I’m not saying it’s correct, but it’s a simple fact that she will have to lose a lot of weight if she wants to keep getting parts. The same thing happened to Nikki Blonsky from ‘Hairspray.’ Everyone said how great she was, and she hasn’t worked since.”

Howard and I rest our case. We've posted Howard's audio after the jump.

Tiger Woods' mistresses haven't totally capitalized on their 15 minutes of fame, but on March 10 they will have a chance to do just that. On that day, one of his mistresses will win $100,000 from cheaters' website ashleymadison.com when Howard Stern hosts the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant.

When Howard first mentioned doing the pageant, he said he would only go through with it if at least three of the mistresses agreed to it. The hoes had to be named in the media as a mistress of Tiger the sex kitten. So far four girls have agreed to compete in the pageant. The hookers will be judged on swimsuit, personality, and talent.

Howard, being his rude and crude self, has even offered a judging spot to Tiger's wife Elin Nordegren. She hasn't responded to his invitation but could you see her judging these b*tches? That would make for some serious drama!

I worship the microphone Howard Stern gets his spit on. I'm that much of a fan. Howard's contract with Sirius radio expires at the end of this year and Howard admitted that he's in talks to replace Simon Cowell.

On why he wants to become an American Idol judge: "There's not a better job on the planet than judging that f---ing karaoke contest. It would be the best thing that happened to me."

On his potential new schedule: "What a cush job -- $100 million for four months. Who wouldn't take that?"

On the salary he wants: "They'd have to pay me a ton of dough because I already make a ton of dough. A $100 million to judge a karaoke contest? Yeah, I would do that show for $100 million."

On why the King of Media should replace Mr. Cowell: "I can't imagine anyone else but me replacing [Cowell]... I don't know. How else are they going to make that show work? Who knows how to broadcast and who knows how to be interesting? And who's not afraid to speak their mind?"

I am so in love with Howard Stern, I can't even express it without sounding as sane as Tila Tequila, so I won't bother to attempt it. But I will say this: American Idol is a sinking ship. Howard could rescue it, he really could! Simon is so much easier on contestants, but Howard never gives a sh*t and he is amazing. Fox, make this happen!