In Case Someone Cares (Page 44)

Larry Birkhead says a Bahamian court declared he is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter, Dannielynn.

"I told you so," Birkhead said outside the court.

A DNA test confirmed him as the father with 99.99 percent certainty, said Dr. Michael Baird, who performed the test.

The court had ordered DNA testing to determine the father of the child, who has been at the center of a paternity dispute since she was born in a Bahamian hospital in September.

The doctor who performed a DNA test for Birkhead, Smith's former boyfriend who insisted he fathered the baby, revealed the results to a closed session of a Bahamian court Tuesday.

The most unsurprising news we've all been waiting for. Im glad it's done and out in the open. You know that crazy bitch Nancy Grace is gonna have a weeks worth of stories from this!

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*Snarkys photo-shopping skills*
Oh yeah baby! We're about an hour away from finding out who Anna Nicole's Baby daddy is! Why couldn't they just do this on Maury Povich? We would find out the results after the first commercial break. Wouldn't it be some shit if none of these guys are the father?

Shar Jackson reportedly spent $15,000 on a tummy tuck and a titty lift.

The has been says she's ready to start rockin' some dental floss bikinis and shoving her nips in front of Federsperm. He doesn't want you, ho.

She says she spent years covering up her stretch marks left after giving birth to four kids.

For a long time, my figure was like my badge of honour... I tried everything, but nothing got rid of the stretch marks.

I feel sexy and amazing. I'm looking forward to wearing two-piece swimsuits this year. The last time I wore a bikini was when I was 16."

source: contact music

"Lauren and Heidi are no longer friends," a Hills source tells us. "They never talk or hang out. Spencer achieved his goal and broke them apart."

The feud heated up even more Monday night. Sources snitch that Montag declined MTV's invitation to attend The Hills: Finale After Party filmed before a live studio audience at MTV Studios in NYC last night.

During the broadcast, when host Susie Castillo asked Conrad how her friendship is with Heidi these days, she replied bluntly, "It's definitely different."

When Usmagazine.com recently asked Conrad whether she and Heidi could be friends again if she breaks up with Spencer, Conrad answered, "Of course, I love Heidi. I was in a similar situation with her last year when I moved out with my boyfriend [Jason Wahler]. Heidi and I barely talked, but as soon as we broke up, she was there for me, and it only made our friendship stronger."

Heidi has Spencer's penis so far up her ass you can see it in the back of her throat. He's an annoying little fucker if you ask me. Lauren was all on my nerves with Heidi about making a decision between her and Spencer. Get over it bitch! I still love to watch this crap tho.

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Productionof "Grindhouse," the much-hyped Quentin Tarantino-Robert Rodriguez movie opening Friday, ground to a halt last year when Rodriguez fell for his leading lady, Rose McGowan, and his wife found out.

Rodriguez and his spouse of 16 years, Elizabeth Avellan, raised five kids and worked together, with Elizabeth serving as his co-producer on "Grindhouse," "Sin City," "From Dusk Till Dawn," "Desperado" and "Spy Kids."

But the marriage exploded last April when Page Six reported that Rodriguez, 38, had begun a torrid romance with McGowan.

"It was the worst-kept secret on the set. They were going off to his trailer, having meals together," our source said. "Rose thought some of the crew were treating her differently, and the attitude was, like, well what do you expect when you're [bleeping] the director?"

So she's a bang-the-director-for-a-better-part type of gal.... I get it.. She's a little whore!

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Keanu Reeves was driving his Porsche when he hit a paparazzo. The accident took place at 7:30 p.m. on Monday.

"Reeves pulled out of a parking space parallel to the curb and grazed a paparazzo standing in the street in front of Mr. Reeves's 1996 Porsche," says a sheriff's statement.

"The man fell to the ground. Paramedics were summoned and treated the man at the scene. He was then transported via ambulance to a local hospital for further treatment.''

Sounds like someone has a lawsuit on the way!

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Three months after her split from Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti, Music and Lyrics star Drew Barrymore has moved on -- with director Spike Jonze!

Drew was caught locking lips with Jonze (ex-husband of director Sofia Coppola) on Tuesday night following a cozy dinner at Ivy at the Shore in Santa Monica.

A witness at the restaurant said that the new couple was "all over each other" during their date.

And as Best Week Ever blog points out, Drew's bestie Cameron Diaz is now getting the last laugh in her rumored feud with Coppola.

Jonze directed Diaz in Being John Malkovich, and the actress is said to have irritated Coppola so much that she inspired the obnoxious, ditzy blonde character, Kelly, in Coppola's film Lost In Translation.

Blah, blah, blah. Drew really needs to shut down her crotch for business.

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Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes may be expecting a baby sometime soon.

The weird couple went to West Hollywood baby boutique last week looking for items for a boy's nursery.

The TomKat friend was overheard saying, "We want to be prepared for a baby boy." We're told the interested themes for the room were: sports, nursery rhyme, cartoon and the color blue.

The estimated cost for the eggshell blue-themed room alone is $45,000 -- and would include a custom-made blue and white antique crib, blue bedding and blue walls with floating clouds. The shop was also given a deadline of April 15, three days before Suri's first birthday, to come up with the designs.

tmz

"Every stitch was a labor of love," says Beverly Hills designer Pol' Atteu, who crafted the dress that Smith wore for her burial on March 2. "My tears are all over that dress."

The pink and ivory gown (with a matching tiara) was made of French lace, pearls and Swarovski crystals and took a day and a half to make.

The heart design and embroidered silk flowers over the bust symbolize Smith's devastation over son Daniel's death, "She died of a broken heart."

The "died of a broken heart" quote is cheesy like cheddar on crackers, heh. But the dress is pink, Anna's fave color. I'm sure she would have liked it.

daily stab

Some dumb show featuring the untalented Pussycat Dolls premieres tonight on the CW. Here's an early review. I'm not intrested in this trash, but some of you may be. I sure do know how to sell a show, don't I?

THE COMPETITION

Auditions - We're not forced to endure weeks of tryouts with sub-par singers or dancers. Instead, the 18 girls have three days to learn song-and-dance routines that they perform before getting cut down to nine.
Talent - Most of the girls can actually dance, and some can even carry a tune. Unfortunately, not all can do both at the same time.
Dedication - These girls put the Top Model wannabes to shame. (*SPOILER ALERT*) After a virus sweeps through the 18 contestants, many are left literally puking up bile or lying down with an IV sticking out of their arms. Despite this, every single girl got up and performed their audition, and four of the sick ones even got chosen as finalists.

THE GIRLS (Zap2it's favorite four)

Chelsea - She once weighed 192 pounds. No really. We've seen the photo several times. Having overcome being an "ogre," she's now extremely competitive and plucky.
Melissa R. - This tiny, very cute girl who can dance and sing appears to have it all ... except the support of her two practical, doctor parents and her pastor.
Anastacia - She's probably the prettiest and most, umm, statuesque of the bunch and knows it. Her "it's all about me" attitude makes her kind of scary, but in a hot way.
Sisely - She quit her punk rock band to try out, which makes her a bit of a wild card, but she has interesting vocals and looks like a feline Kirsten Dunst.

THE HOST

Mark McGrath - Why is the former Sugar Ray lead singer here? I can't think of one instance when he was needed.

THE JUDGES (except for Robin, they don't appear until the second episode)

Robin Antin - As the creator of the PCD, she seems more like the Tyra Banks of this outfit -- doling out advice, critiquing when necessary and appearing smug the whole time. Her best line when she tells the girls to dress up for a night out: "Look cute. No crimped hair."
Lil' Kim - Ex-con and rapper with the soul of a PCD; She seems a little bit soft on the contestants and is wowed mainly by their personality or appearance.
Ron Fair - The really critical one of the group. No British accent though.

THE HELPERS

Mikey Minden - co-choreographer; A demanding instructor with lots of flair and a love for the skull motif on his clothing. And, despite obviously being gay, he's "hot" -- or at least contestant Melissa S. thinks so.
Eric Dawkins - vocal producer; Not afraid to tell the girls that they're flat or can't hit a note.
The Pussycat Dolls - Frankly, Nicole is the only one we recognize at this point. She always seems to be "on" and aware of the cameras.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS

- This is probably not a show where being "too sexy" is a liability like on Top Model.
- Even so, when some of these girls are out of costume and makeup, they look disturbingly young since many are only 18.
- The argument over female empowerment rages on.

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