Bristol Palin's life has had many low points: falsely accusing her baby daddy of rape, appearing in a safe sex PSA with the freakin' Situation, watching her mom become the laughingstock of American politics, but nothing - nothing in the world - can match the humiliation of being told told to keep your dumbass opinions to yourself by none other than JWoww.

"Bristol should keep her uneducated, ignorant mouth shut. If you're living in the past you wouldn't have a kid without marriage. Hypocrite. It's 2012!" Jenni said on Twitter, in response to Bristol's moronic comments about gay marriage and the importance of "traditional" families. "My best friend will get married one day and not just have civil union with his man. Stop hating people."

No word on how Snooki feels about finding out that some gay dude has apparently taken her place as Jenni's BFF.

Well, in case you ever wondered what Snooki would be like with a belly full of baby instead of booze, we now have our answer: boooooooring! At least that seems to be the case according to her most recent interview and this clip of the new MTV reality show featuring Snooks and JWoww.

"The fact that I can reproduce is very scary," says Snooks, uttering possibly the truest words ever spoken. But other than the occasional funny one-liner this show looks like a full-on snooze-fest. Apartment hunting! Sonograms! The exciting life of two young gals making their way in friggin' Jersey City! Look, we know you're both millionaires, MTV found you a place to live and by the time this thing gets to air we'll all be sick to death of hearing about the guido monster fighting Snooki's bloated liver for elbow room.

So what happened? Well, apparently adulthood. "I guess [pregnancy] just made me more mature,” told reporters while promoting the show. "It's different because now I'm not drinking. I'm usually partying and going to clubs but pregnancy made me grow up a lot."

Oh, great...A sober, mature Snooki! Just what absolutely no one wants to see! Look, I'm sure Nicole's parents are happy to see her finally growing up, but in terms of entertainment value, I think I'd rather watch a show about The Situation taking over his uncle's landscaping business.

It often happens, folks pretend that they don't know that there can be "too much of a good thing." Oprah is learning that lesson with her failing OWN Network, FOX learnt that lesson by creating The X Factor, a talent show like every other talent show, and MTV will soon learn that when Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and JWoww's reality show makes it to broadcast.

Jersey Shore was supposed to be a show about party loving buff dudes and drama loving female sluts. Then Snooki got pregnant, and Jenni? She's always been boring. She isn't funny, she isn't even interesting. She's just naked half of the time so that we have a reason to pay her some attention.

JWoww's dogs are reportedly going to obedience school on her spin-off show with Snooki, and Nicole is learning how to be a mother I guess, based upon the photo above. Get it? The party-loving maneater is pregnant and she has to learn how to be a mom. MTV, y'all are too creative! I just hope you didn't pay Nicole and Jenni that much for this show because I can guarantee you your script won't translate into ratings gold.

Photos: Fame/ Flynet

Talk about putting the nail in the coffin on one of the most successful reality shows in history! MTV will begin filming Jersey Shore season 6 this summer in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. All of the housemates will return for "their home-away-from-home, and the house dynamic is headed into unchartered territory…as their lives outside the “Shore” take off in exciting new directions," according to MTV's publicity department.

The network claims that the cast's "trademark hilarity and family dysfunction will remain the same." Are you also confused?! So the Jersey Shore castmates' lives are taking off "in exciting new directions" yet things in the house "will remain the same"? MTV wishes.

MTV execs need to figure out how to make this show interesting again. They need to hire scriptwriters, they should add a new housemate, stop sending the cast to Karma every single night... or they could just cancel the show right now! We don't need season 6. I don't like anyone in the cast anymore and I really can't stand that these millionaires "work" at a T-shirt store for a living! MTV doesn't think very highly of its viewers.

The show is too stupid to make any sense now. I'll just DVR it so that I can see the pregnant midget sex Snooki will still engage in with her gay fiance Jionni during her third trimester, just like Jessica Simpson does with her unlucky dude.

Snooki and Jionni LaValle are having a baby together and Snooki is currently filming her spin-off with JWoww in Jersey City. A liquor store already banned Snickers and Jenni from it's store, but a baby store has told MTV that it's okay to film there.

MTV approached the owner of Bambi Baby and asked to shoot scenes there. At first the owner hesitated, but later agreed. It's unclear when the shooting in the store will begin, but this is just another story that confirms one of the most talked about rumors of the year: Snooki is Pregnant!

Wasted, half-naked, and hitting on one of her roommates  - that's the image that the future husband and child of the newly pregnant/engaged Snooki will have to shake if they're gonna try and make a go at this whole "family" thing. So they may never wanna watch the beginning of last night's Jersey Shore...or any episode of Jersey Shore, for that matter. Fortunately for Jionni and the fetal Jionni Jr., Snooks went too hard too early in her attempt to get it in with Vinny and ended up passing out instead of her joining her roommates at Jenks. But an even better trainwreck showed up on the scene: Angelina! Sadly, no one got wasted enough to bring her home.

The next morning, The Situation tips a delivery guy with protein powder (what a guy) while JWoww prepares for her and Roger's one-year anniversary by hitting the sex shop for various flavored creams and latex items. Things get even classier, when Sitch, Snooki and Ron dump a liter of Southern Comfort into a water bottle and head to work at the Shore Store. You can guess how that turned out...with Mike putting in his hardest day's work ever? Wtf is up with this season?!

Fortunately, some drama begins to take shape when The Sitch calls The Unit to arrange another attempt to destroy Snooki's relationship. Speaking of sabotage, Vinny and Pauly D take issue with Jenni's plan to "decorate the smush room with rose petals and bondage equipment" and decide to throw the smush room mattress on the porch (without hazmat gear). Amazingly, Jenni is actually a good sport about it and Paul and Vinny don't instantly break out in full-body herpes sores.

Roger comes into town, everyone makes fun of Vinny's ridiculous denim blouse and then the whole crew heads to Karma...but not before The Situation promises a night full of serious drama. "It's been a little too calm lately," Mike says, apparently reading the minds of everyone who's been watching this season. "Sit back, grab your popcorn and watch." The Unit arrives at Karma for operation Ruin Snooki's Life (as if she can't handle that on her own) and to make things worse, Jionni's parents are in the club for some reason. Maybe this entire boring season has been leading up to this earth-shattering blow-out (I mean a fight, not a haircut). Nothing against Snooki, but God I hope so...

Some stories you just can't make sense of. Chris Brown and Rihanna getting back together is one thing...but this just defies explanation. Snooki is in Hoboken, New Jersey to film her Jersey Shore spinoff series with JWoww. Astoundingly, local liquor stores have instituted a staunch no-Snooki policy.

TMZ has spoken with local Hoboken booze purveyors who claim they want nothing to do with the state's favorite tequila sponge. “Even if Jwoww and Snooki show up at our front door they will not be let in.” said the owner of The Wine Shop, which is apparently next door to the ladies' new digs. “The only thing they are good for is ridicule and amusement. There is no upside business wise, and the potential downside is God knows what. Why feed the embarrassment?”

Really? Liquor store owners are jumping on the Snooki hate train? God forbid Snickers' involvement with a Hoboken liquor store would vault it to Shore Store levels. This dude is obviously more concerned with the integrity of his booze shop than becoming a freakin' millionaire. Well...um, ya gotta stay true to your art, right?

Roger loves to fight. When he's not beefin' with JWoww for seemingly no reason, he's throwing down with random club d-bags at Karma. Somehow the thick-necked 'roid case manages to scuffle without taking any lives (it helps to have an MTV security team just off camera) and everybody leaves the club unscathed and un-cuffed. Snooki is (as always) excited to "touch Jionni's weiner" but the combination of one too many cosmos and the thought of having sex with Snooki has the closet-case guido blowing chunks (thanks for the audio on that, producers). "I wanna have sex right now. Why the f*ck are you throwing up?" says the ultra-compassionate Nicole. I don't know what's more impressive, her way with words or her tender bedside manner.

Because he's an actual heterosexual man, Roger has a somewhat decent reason for blowing off his girlfriend - opting to pound drinks and chicken salad sandwiches instead of smushing. This guy actually seems cool and I'm hoping both he and Jenni's hooker boots will make plenty of cameos in the upcoming JWoww/Snooki spinoff. Further proving that they own the only testicles in the Shore house, the ladies suggest a fishing/crabbing trip the next morning. After many crab-based one-liners ("I caught crabs!" and the slightly more clever "Crabs are here!")  the guidos actually make a decent showing  - until Snooki and Deena decide to try their hand at rafting.

"Arms are flapping; there's meatball sauce flying everywhere," says Ronnie in what could serve as an accurate description of the boating adventure or any of Deena's recent smush sessions. Some onlookers try to warn the Meatballs to keep their inflatable raft away from sharp objects. Deena thinks they're saying "shark" and hilariously freaks out over the prospect of a deadly great white lurking in three feet of murky Jersey piss-water. Snooki, meanwhile is mainly concerned with holding onto her booze and extensions. "Your eyelashes are floating in the Pacific, as we speak," she chides Deena, while showing off her impressive knowledge of geography.

After failing to bring home any DIY seafood, it's time for the Shore Store and another run-in with Pauly D's stalker. "She stares right at me with this death look that I can feel burning a hole through my head...and it's messing with my blowout." I'll repeat my prediction that we're gonna see this chick on the news very soon. Speaking of stalkers, Mike grills Snooki about her relationship with Jionni and seems surprised when she says she wants to marry him. "When someone says at the wedding, 'Does anyone object?' Can I run in the room?" Mike asks. At least he knows he won't be invited. Minutes later, Snooks describes her relationship as "definitely unhealthy," which makes the news of her recent engagement a little troubling.

What is going on with these girls?! I was looking forward to watching the ladies of Jersey Shore age into a more leathery version of the Sex and the City foursome, but it looks like they're all gunning to become dick-whipped housewives before they hit thirty. Snooki is engaged, Sammi has so thoroughly disappeared under one of Ron's 'roid pecs that she's barely visible this season, and now JWoww is so wrapped around Roger's little finger that she looks more like Little Jenni from Albany rather than the fake-boobed, awful-nicknamed b!tch goddess we've come to know and love.

After their first bad fight, JWoww basically curls up in a fetal position and begs for Roger's forgiveness. "Roger's like 65 years old, so he's not gonna play these little baby games," says Deena, sounding uncomfortably like a middle-schooler whose  best friend is banging her bio teacher. But Deena's got bigger problems than saving Jenni's relationship with Mr. Burns (Roger is 35, by the way). Her boss wants her gone and she's gotta figure out how to bake a cake to get back in his good graces. After two attempts at putting it in the oven (seriously) the cake is baked, and the meatballs are ready to grovel.

Unfortunately, during the night, someone helps themselves to a corner of the cake, which leads to two of the more subtly hilarious lines of the season: 1.)"Who eats cake when they know it's an 'I'm sorry' cake?" - Deena 2.) (In Sherlock Holmes mode) "Okay, who loves chocolate cake?" Really, dude? That's gonna narrow it down? Naturally, all fingers point toward The Situation, as there's only one person in the house (and possibly the world) douchey enough to purposefully wreck a desert meant to save someone's job.

After some more drama with Snooki's urinary tract infection (man, they're really grasping at straws this season), the girls accuse Mike of the cake thievery directly. His nonchalant attitude and lame excuse ("I'm on a diet!") led me to believe dude definitely ate the cake, but Pauly finally confesses, leading Mike to turn into an 8 year-old before out eyes. ("They only notice when I'm bad!") With that, the great cake conflict of 2012 is over, and I hope to never again spend that much of my life watching grown-ups argue about baked goods.

"We're pretty much finding out who the real troublemaker is and it's...Snooki!" The Situation started last night's episode of Jersey Shore by saying that with a straight face. Yes, the girl who's main priority this season is keeping her relationship intact while Mike tries to destroy it is definitely the one causing problems in the house. That pantsless, drunken tirade Mike went on last week must have been carefully edited to make him look like the sociopathic lunatic.

After basically accusing Snooki of being the tanned lovechild of Lucifer and Newt Gingrich, Mike gets on the duck phone to start trying to destroy her. He and The Unit talk for a few minutes about Deena's sister's sex life, and I guess we'll have to wait for the uncensored DVD to know what the hell they said, because the entire conversation was bleeped out. Anyway, Mike seemed to have gotten the info he needed, so it's time to teach that b!tch a lesson about stirring up unnecessary drama! Or something...

As proof of what an evil devil woman she is, Snooki wakes Mike up to invite him to go out. He declines and everyone else hits the town for the same Seaside clubbing we've seen roughly 4,000 times at this point. The highlight was definitely JWoww's weird, depressed attempt to do The Robot. The Snooki vs. Sitch conflict is certainly the best part of this season so far, but the escalating war between JWoww and Roger has now taken second place in terms of weird drama. We know that these two are still dating in real life, yet we watch them play weird head games with each other with the expectation that they'll break up any minute. Who knew Jenni was the type to tolerate this kind of sh!t?

Quick sidenote: Vinny getting shot down by a lesbian and then effortlessly banging another chick who freakin' followed him home demonstrates why the public is beginning to lose interest in this show. It's reached the point where these guys have to put literally zero effort into getting laid. They're famous millionaires being followed around some Jersey tourist town by an MTV camera crew. Given that situation, John Goodman would be knee deep in willing turnpike trim. Anyway, back to the episode...