It took me a while to decide whether I wanted to accompany the first episode of the fourth season of Basketball Wives with a double dose of Advil or a large glass of red wine. I’m all for having it all, but not when that means DIY-ing your own roofie. The lesson? Sometimes in life, you can’t always get what you want. As the Wives shall learn in this episode.

For the season premiere, all the girls are in New York City, and alliances have shifted, broken, and otherwise muddled themselves up since we last left off. Anyone surprised? Evelyn Lozada and Jennifer Williams are both in the city, but--gasp!--they aren’t speaking. Instead, Evelyn talks with her wedding planner and Jen talks with Suzie, who has moved to NYC.

We’re spared the ‘who’s still talking to who’ rehashing for a moment to meet one of the new cast members, Kesha, who sadly does not have a dollar sign in her name. Royce instantly falls into girl love. “You’re like a breath of fresh air,” she smiles dreamily. I don’t know if I agree, but I’m just glad that Meeka Claxton is gone so I don’t have to bang my head against the wall. (More brain cells to kill in the true style of the Basketball Wives--through copious amounts of liquor!)

Then we’re back to the old crew. Tami Roman dines al fresco with Evelyn, who informs her that her friendship with Jen has run its course. Tami looks legitimately pained at the thought of their years long friendship ending. “To me, it’s like beating a little dead horse,” Evelyn says. “Horse is dead in the street, girl.” Gotta love when they use metaphors.

Now it’s time for new cast member #2! Kenya is friends with Kesha and wants a recording career, despite not being the one named Kesha (LAME). Although Kenya is currently married to Charlie Bell, she is in the process of divorcing him because it is against the laws of this show to have an actual basketball wife. Kenya asks Royce if the infamous cult/circle is real. “You’ll see,” Royce says ominously.

Basketball Wives should just be renamed The Evelyn Lozada Show because this b!tch is like Snooki on crack. Evelyn herself says "Now my issue is with Kenya and wanting to know if this b!tch said I was loose before I take blood out of this girl." Awwwww, role models! It's nice to know that Evelyn does not disappoint Vh1. They pay her thick and she knows how to bring it. Meanwhile Jennifer Williams becomes a punching bag, literally, while the new girls try to enter 'the circle' that is become "a straight line," according to Tami Roman... Meanwhile Royce is pursuing acting while Suzy is just there. This looks good! We hope to recap Basketball Wives for you, just like we did last season.

Basketball Wives star Jennifer Williams is actually on the cover of a magazine! Jenny is wearing  a diamond headpiece and posing like an angel for the cover of J'Adore. The timing of Jen's cover is perfect. Basketball Wives season 4 premieres Feb. 20.

Looking sneaky, not sexy

Jennifer is easy on the eyes, but she looks tragic in the photo above. Not only does she look ridiculous with all that crap on, but the angle of the photo doesn't do her any justice. Trying to look angelic and dressing like Cleopatra just doesn't work.

The trailer for season 4 of Basketball Wives is so bad that it's good! This promo is as creative as it gets. The entire clip revolves around the ladies partying on a yacht. HBIC Shaunie looks amazing. She is such a natural beauty. I'm distracted by all of the big jewelry that she's wearing, which she clearly doesn't need with a shiny dress. This promo features some voiceover sound bytes from Evelyn Lozada and other stars. This video is the very definition of "boughetto" - bougie and ghetto!

The once-solid Evelyn Lozada and Jennifer Williams friendship is on the rocks like the vodka and rum these women drink as if they’re IV drip-dependent. While filming an episode of the show at a Florida racetrack, Evelyn's assistant, Nia Crooks, told Jennifer that she was getting "too big for britches," which led to a major confrontation.

The two quickly got in each other’s faces, which culminated when Nia pushed Jennifer in the face. At that point, the Basketball Wives security got involved--and also had to restrain Evelyn from making a move too. The police were called and a report was filed, though no charges have been brought up.

With news like this, the next season of Basketball Wives is going to be even more of a clusterf**k than ever before. The battle lines shall be drawn again, and Team Evelyn shirts shall surely be sold at Dulce. All is right with the world, as is my equal parts excitement and nausea at the thought of it.

Evelyn Lozada and Jennifer Williams were friends for 10 years, and then they began filming Basketball Wives and now they hate each other. Jennifer gave an interview the other day where she said that Evelyn is jealous of her friendship with reality stars Nene Leakes and Mashonda.

Evelyn then posted a Tweet about how Jen "will never be a white girl" and then she spoke with out about why she's so mad. Evelyn saying that she is "f*cking pissed! I am beyond livid right now!"

Lozada says: "I don’t really talk to a lot to people because it’s so stressful filming. So by the time it’s done, I’m done with it, but this mothef*cker right here [Jennifer Williams] is doing interviews."

Evelyn went on to explain that Jennifer's comment about Evelyn being jealous was made off the record - Sister 2 Sister has since pulled the interview - and Evelyn called Nene up to apologize for Jen's comments. Nene was happy that Lozada apologized.

Evelyn says that Jennifer sold her out by going public about certain things, which will be revealed on the upcoming season of Basketball Wives, and that Williams herself has a whole other side to her, "If I started talking and doing interviews about everything I know, you would be done. That whole Barbie good girl sh*t would be done," Evelyn said.

To read Evelyn's explosive new interview, visit Necole Bitchie.

Jennifer Williams of Basketball Wives has become friends with Nene Leakes. The two have been photographed together on several occasions. On an episode of Basketball Wives last season, Williams did a radio interview where she questioned Chad Ochocinco's intentions for dating Evelyn Lozada. And here we are today. Jen thinks that Evelyn is jealous of her friendship with Nene.

Jen said: "[Evelyn] hates the fact that I’m really good friends with NeNe [Leakes], and she hates the fact that me and Mashonda are good friends. I feel like it’s all coming from a place of hurt, and she’s turning it into anger."

Jen kept saying that it's stupid that Evelyn is mad at her because "It's not like I slept with Chad," and she said that "It's always unfortunate when you have so much history with a person and then something stupid happens." Sigh.

Jennifer then went on to praise Nene for being "a good person" who is "always trying" to uplift here and she says that their friendship has "no jealousy, no competition."

Evelyn then posted the tweet above on Twitter in response to Jen's comments. Maturity at its best. I can't pick a side because I don't like anyone on Basketball Wives.

The second half of the Basketball Wives reunion is the kind of episode where everyone goes around and around in circles and nobody gets anywhere. While each person ends up in the same place she started at, thank goodness the bleeps and STFUs keep things interesting along the way.

Tami Doesn’t Regret Smacking Meeka

Host John Sally starts off by asking if any of the Wives disagree with Meeka Claxton’s portrayal on the show. Nobody raises a hand. Why? Because they all think she’s a fake, self-promoting whore. Meeka tries to play the victim by crying that Tami Roman’s been retweeting stuff about her relating to her family and her skin color. Tami thinks this is stupid for two reasons: (1) “Twitter is a f**king social media network, b!tch! You’re supposed to retweet! What the f**k else are you supposed to do with it?!” and (2) “My daughters are brown, my ex-husband is brown, and my man is Haitian and black as a motherf**ker!” So...yeah.

Meeka, on the other hand, has insulted Tami in interviews, but she can’t even articulate her thoughts during this hour. She tells a weird, nonsensical story about her daughter knowing the difference between “real money” and “fake money.” How does this apply? No ‘effing clue.

When asked if she regrets taking their feud to the next (physical!) level, Tami sasses, “Listen, I issued a disclaimer,” explaining that if someone’s hands go up, she doesn’t know if it’s going towards her, so she’s gotta take action. But I think it’s just an excuse to whack a b!tch. Tami claims that she’s the type of person who hates constant drama and bickering (cue crickets), but if provoked as she was, she’ll fight back.

Evelyn’s Getting Married Next Summer, Jen’s Happy for Her

Though Evelyn Lozada and Chad fought in the finale, they’re still together and everything’s cool. Jennifer Willams implies her ‘media whore’ statements about Chad were taken out of context and in reference to a conversation had right after Evelyn banged him for the first time. She says she’s happy as long as Evelyn’s happy *eye roll*.

As we learned this season, Evelyn and Chad want twin boys ASAP. Well folks, Mr. Ochocinco’s sperm is frozen and ready for action, but Evelyn won’t be knocked up for a while. She’s just sooo busy. But she will get married first and is planning a destination wedding for next summer. Is it going to be ‘Kim Kardashian’s Wedding: The Knock-Off Edition’? Most likely.

The beauty of Basketball Wives is that everything is confusing as hell, but the reunion show special holds a special place in my heart because things are (marginally) easier to follow. The girls still fight about nothing, but at least they travel from conflict to conflict so you actually know where one b!tch fit starts and another begins. And--bonus!--former NBA player John Sally hosts the show and manages not to look too embarrassed the entire time.

Royce Still Hates Evelyn and Jen:

During the reunion show from last season, Royce burned bridges with both Jen and Evelyn, and they’re not gonna be mended this time around. Royce doesn’t care about the comments that the nearly-conjoined twins have made about her appearance because she was never a fashionista. Jennifer Williams says that’s why she gave Royce a makeover before. “Your good deed for the day,” Royce scoffs in response.

John mentions Royce’s tweets about her and Evelyn Lozada’s drink-throwing escapade, which annoys Evelyn because she claims she doesn’t talk about Royce on Twitter, ever. Royce says that Evelyn retweeted something about punching Royce in the face, but Evelyn ignores her and pretends she doesn’t exist. “Do you hear something?” Evelyn quips, feigning confusion. They’ve suddenly become more passive-aggressive than just plain aggressive. I can’t tell whether I like it or not.

Tami Never Actually Sued Evelyn:

On the topic of Evelyn’s “non-motherf**kin’ factor” T-shirts, Tami Roman says she never sued Evelyn, she just issued a warning on the show. But more importantly, Tami thinks the situation showed the two of them can sit down like adults and talk things out. Riiight. And all it takes first is a whole lot of cussing and pointed sh!t-talking. Mature? B!tch, please!

You never have to watch an entire season of a show, or a single episode for that matter, to be entertained by the "reunion." Reunion shows aren't scripted, which is why they're so great. Reality stars are always asked hard questions and they get flustered and upset as their stupidity or intellect shines through. Tonight it's going down on Part I of the "Basketball Wives" reunion. Our talented writer Cheesus will give you her two cents on the fireworks that are bound to happen tonight in her recap that we'll be posting tomorrow. Evelyn Lozada and Jennifer Williams really hate Royce Reed, as do I, so I'm hoping that some weave will end up on the floor by the time Part II of the reunion special ends.

Show creator Shaunie O'Neal says that she wishes the show was more positive. I'm not buying it considering that Shaunie cast controversial, fiesty b!tches on the show to begin with. “I never imagined it would be a group of ladies fighting and arguing that way that they do. That was never part of the plan. I hate that it has to be a fight or an argument that gives us 4.2 million viewers. I hate that."

See how she slipped a statistic in? Shaunie wants us to know that her show is successful.