Jessica Simpson
News

Jess is kind of like Megan Fox. She often doesn't make sense or doesn't know how ridiculous she sounds. Jessica either deliberately plays a ditz, or she's just being too honest. This time it's the latter.

Jessica Simpson told Extra, "I don't want to get bored. I can bore out pretty easily, so I love intellectual men ... people that will always keep me intrigued. I definitely love a spiritual man -- somebody that is going to always inspire me. And, you know, I love artistic men -- somebody that really understands their art."

The future Jennifer Aniston should just want a man who wants her. Forget the intellectual, spiritual and artistic crap, can he get it up? It sounds like Jess wants a damn life coach. She needs to shorten her preferences list down to 'has a job and a pulse.'

Jessica Simpson isn't going to sit around and allow people like the folks at Fox NFL Sunday make fun of her. Jess did what every self respecting strong woman does when somebody makes fun of their weight...Give the holy smack down! She jumped on the producers of Fox with an atomic elbow, put them in a full nelson and made them cry mercy like p*ssies!

Not really, but it would have been exciting if that's how it went down. All Jessica really did was send a short message on Twitter in response to the harsh cartoon.

"i will never understand why people attack for a laugh.own your beauty and don't listen to the judgement."

See my idea was a bit more interesting. I dig Jessica's response, but she obviously did listen to the judgement or she wouldn't have tweeted that message. Seriously, I get what she's saying and she's right, own it b*tches, own it!

The Fox NFL Sunday crew apparently thought it was okay to pick on Jessica Simpson's weight in the cartoon that aired on Sunday. Jessica Simpson needs to throw on her cowboy boots and kick some old retired football player *ss! Why? Because they are old and half crippled because they've blown the cartilage in their knees. I know they didn't make the cartoon themselves, but I wanted to throw them in the mix too. 

Jabs are taken at Jessica such as Marion Barber saying "Man, I still can’t believe Tony [Romo] dated Jessica Simpson, even AFTER she blew up bigger than Flozell Adams!" Even head coach Wade Phillips threw his two cents in as he asks Tony: "Say Tony, is Jessica around? We could use a defensive tackle!"

Fox is now back pedaling on the cartoon and have released a statement apologizing for their animated creation.

"Burger King Corp. did not have any editorial input in the creation of the animation that ran last Sunday, and no one from Burger King Corp. approved it before it aired. Upon reflection, our poor attempt at humor was insensitive and we deeply apologize to anyone who might have been offended."

I won't be surprised if Papa Joe Simpson crawls out of the woodwork to make a statement about this.

Martha Stewart is such a mean b*tch! She is beyond evil and could give Satan a run for his money. That was a little dramatic wasn't it? Martha isn't all that bad but she should keep her cookie cutter mouth shut when it comes to talking about other people's missing pets.

When asked during an interview last week what she thought about the Jessica Simpson missing dog drama, Martha said Jessica should have been more careful and advised her to get another dog.

Martha must have received a tongue lashing from Jessica because she is now apologizing for what she said.

"I said that she should have been watching her dog more closely, but I feel very, very sorry for anybody that loses a pet. Jessica, I hope you find your pet, but if you don't, I'm really sorry that you lost one."

So she's not really sorry for saying Jess should have had a better eye on Daisy, she's more or less sorry Jessica's dog became coyote chow. Martha, bake a cake with a cute and fluffy hand crafted Daisy dog on top, and I'm sure Jessica will accept your apology. Then she'll beat you down in the side of the head with a stiletto and make you eat the leftover Daisy poop that's still on the carpet!

Jessica Simpson is challenging my loyalty to her by being an ignorant twat!

Jessica is in Uganda, Africa, filming her train wreck of a show, The Price of Beauty, where the 29 year-old diva posted the picture above on her Twitter with the following message:

WTF?!? Do I really have to sleep like this?

ZOMG. Nope, not unless you want mosquitoes to bite you all over, which they should cause you're such a dumba*s, Jess.

Considering all the suffering many Africans face in Africa on the daily, especially considering how many contract Malaria because they DON'T have a net to sleep in, I just wanna pull a Serena Williams and threaten to shove something down Jess' throat. I just can't figure out what that should be. But when I think of it, I'll be sure to post a picture of the object on my Twitter.

Jessica Simpson is still hoping her pup Daisy will be found alive and well. Daisy has been missing since she was snatched by a coyote Monday night.

A dog finding service has been calling 1000 of Jessica's neighbors, seeing if they have seen her missing mutt, but Daisy hasn't turned up yet. Jess posted the tweet above last night about the search for Daisy.

I was one of those 'my dog is my kid' people before I had my baby, so I understand how she feels. I don't blame her for keeping the search going although Daisy probably isn't alive anymore. I have friends in Cali who have had their dogs or cats taken by coyotes and it's never a happy ending.

Jessica Simpson? You wouldn't wanna be her. The failed country singer can not keep a man to save her life, and she can not keep a dog, either. Sadly Jessica's beloved and adorable dog Daisy has reportedly been taken by a coyote.

Jessica's dog was snatched right in front of her and she posted the following plea with the picture above yesterday on her Twitter account:

“My heart is broken because a coyote took my precious Daisy right in front of our eyes. HORROR! We are searching. Hoping. Please help!”

This sounds like a disaster!!! Can you imagine?

We're hoping for the best!

Could someone sperminate Jessica Simpson already before she gets super whiny about wanting a kid?

In a recent interview, Ashlee Simpson said her sister wants a kid of her own and is constantly saying "'Oh, I want a baby.'" Does Jess think babies are like new handbags or a new puppy that you just cuddle for a little bit then have your assistant take care of it?

Does she know where babies come from? This is Jessica Simpson we're talking about, so you can't be too safe. If she wants a baby so badly she could adopt one like the rest of Hollywood does when they go into baby heat.

Jessica Simpson needs new people. Jess was in France to model for fashion designer Ozlem Suer, who asked Jess to model for her show. The fugged up victim was dressed up like an angry Frankenstein bride who cut her own slit in her shower curtain dress.

The dress is an oversized disaster, the eye makeup looks like it was applied with charcoal, and her hair looks fried. How could anyone encourage Jess to do this? Jessica is pretty, but not here!

Jessica Simpson can't have a peaceful breakup in public, it's always gotta be embarrassing for her. Tony Romo, Jessica's "future husband," told everyone Jess sucks in bed when he dumped her the first time, banned her from his Dallas mansion, and flirted with three of her friends when they were still together.

One of Jessica's "friends" told her,

“We were at a party when you were out of town and I ran into Tony. We were friendly, just talking. But the more he drank, the more friendly he got. Finally, he said, ‘You know, you and I should get together - Jessica doesn’t need to find out!’”

Others said Tony would get “all grabby and kissy-face,” but they’d push him away.

“This is tearing Jessica apart. Every guy she’s been with lately, like John Mayer and Tony, have had womanizing issues. She’s picking ‘em worse, not better.”

I don't mind hate to sound like a sexist frat boy, but Jess needs to stop letting herself go! Tony stood by Jessica during Fatgate and she drinks too damn much and she's not the type of ho you take seriously. Jess needs to come to terms with her new reality: She's not as hot or as successful as she once was, and she needs to stop acting like Jennifer Maniston by dating men who don't wanna commit. Lemme think about this one for a minute ... Someone should clone Jake Gyllenhaal! Not for her, but for my greedy self.

Screw Jess, she makes the worst partner choices.