This is probably my most embarrassing confession to date. Jessica Simpson’s singing “Remember That,” her song about being abused. I saw a link to this video on E! and they were basically insinuating that this Jessica Simpson video is funny. I was prepared to laugh. I actually did some chuckles, and I already knew what I was gonna post here on POTP.
I was gonna say ‘Jessica Simpson on The View. It’s getting harder and harder for me to defend my Jess. Is she singing or is she acting?’
But towards the end of the song, as she continues singing, I feel like homegurl gets too deep. Too emotional. And I actually teared up. Now I’m kind of embarrassed to reveal that, but I love you all enough to put my embarassment aside. Now I dunno who’s crazier - Jessica Simpson or me? I think I need to go play some Grand Theft Auto when I’m done so I can toughen up.
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I know I didn’t blog about Jessica Simpson’s Good Morning America tech glitch yesterday. Thanks Sica for mentioning that. Goes like this actually: I was on my parents’ desktop in another room updating POTP when I heard Jessica Simpson wailing “Come on Over” in the living room! No joke. I came out and watched that performance wondering why she was doing such a shitty job at hiding her baby bump. I also told my mom I can’t stand her wailing. You know I love the Simpson girls but dayum, I can not handle Jessica’s country single. And she screams too much. She practically only screeches now.
Back to the alleged baby bump… I hope bitch is knocked up. Jess is like a future housewife who lets herself go before she gets married and pops out two and a half kids. She forgot to get married first, fug and fat second. Does Jessica think if she’s round and fug her relationship will last this time? This is Jess we’re talkin’ bout, so yeah, she probably thinks it’s worth a try.
Here’s Jessica telling the audience,
“Hold on, I know this is live TV but I can’t hear anything. Do it again, one, two, three, UH!!”
Jessica Simpson had her country Grand Ole Opry debut Saturday night where she sang her single, “Come on Over.” Her big boobies offended some more than likely flat chested, conservative, bitter bitches.
Audience members, it seemed, couldn’t believe her costume choice. “I think she should have put some clothes on,” one viewer said. While another one responded to how she liked Simpson’s performance with: “I loved that new girl, Crystal [Shawanda] – and she was dressed appropriately.”
People just dunno what to worry about these days. How ’bout Jessica’s weave and that horrible song? Her wailing makes my eyes water, and I like Jess.
“She finds Jessica’s love of putting her life on display pretty desperate. She laughed at the People cover, because it’s the same one Jess did about John Mayer — same smile, same look, except she’s a little fatter.”
Carrie’s anorexic ass needs to shut it. She was rounder than Jessica when she originally competed on American Idol. That being said, I would say what Carrie said, too, especially after having to gaze at Jessica’s uncomfortable, sideways head tilt. That mess will bring out the bitchiness in anyone.
But wait! You know the only thing reporters ask her about is Tony Romo, and even if they don’t, you know Jess feels like she must convince us that her love life doesn’t suck anymore… I’m not convinced.
Reporter: Jessica, how’s everything going?
Jessica: Tony Romo is the best man alive.
Reporter: How’s country music working out for you. Did you have a good time making your album?
Jessica: Tony Romo is the reason why I’m alive. He saved me from myself. He breathes life into me. The world is a better place with him in it.
Reporter: How excited are you about Ashlee’s pregnancy?
Jessica: Tony Romo is my future husband. We’ll have babies one day. He is the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m over John Mayer. I love Tony!
Alright, here’s the real excerpts:
On Tony Romo:
“I just told him today, ‘You’re the love of my life.’ I don’t really ever say that to anybody.”
On making it hard for her exes to contact her:
“I don’t want anybody that’s been in my life [before] in my life anymore. I don’t even want them to have any way of contacting me.”
On her break-up with John Mayer:
“I had to regain self-esteem and self-value. I just love, so I don’t understand when people can’t do exactly what I do.”
Goes like this actually: I was on my parents’ desktop in another room updating POTP when I heard Jessica Simpson wailing “Come on Over” in the living room! No joke. I came out and watched that performance wondering why she was doing such a shitty job at hiding her baby bump. I also told my mom I can’t stand her wailing. You know I love the Simpson girls but dayum, I can not handle Jessica’s country single. And she screams too much. She practically only screeches now.
